Translating The "Odd Vernacular" of Universal Studios and Bryan Singer ("Singer-versal") into Everyday Language

As we all know, Bryan Singer and Universal Studios have always had a truly eccentric vernacular they have utilized in all of their FAKE "Battlestar Galactica" press releases since 2001. Let's translate all of it, shall we?


1. "We're closing a deal on a Battlestar Galactica movie."

Translation:

No deals were ever closed on a Battlestar Galactica movie. No contracts of any sort were ever signed to make the movie. No legalities of any sort were ever put into place to make a Battlestar Galactica movie.

2. "We have a script and it is going through revisions."

Translation:

They don't have a script in any way, shape, or form.

3. "We're diving right in to make this Battlestar Galactica movie."

Translation:

They're quietly putting the Battlestar Galactica movie on the backburner for the next 10 years, just as they have been doing since 2001.

4. "A scriptwriter has been hired to write a Battlestar Galactica movie."

Translation:

No scriptwriter was ever hired to write a Battlestar Galactica movie. No employment contract was ever signed by the writer. The scriptwriter (instead and informally) will spend the next 10 years thinking about what sort of story he would like to write for Battlestar Galactica while he moves on to other projects he will actually do.

5. "I have wanted to make a Battlestar Galactica movie since I was 12 years old."

Translation:

Wanting and doing are two entirely different things. In no small part due to the fact that the parties involved simply don't have the imagination and inspired thinking to make a Battlestar Galactica movie. Just look at John Orloff suddenly leaning towards Ronald D. Moore's "anti-Imaginative way" of doing things with Battlestar Galactica.

6. "A Battlestar Galactica movie is our top priority."

Translation:

A Battlestar Galactica movie is at the bottom of their priority list.

7. "A Battlestar Galactica movie will be released two years from now."

Translation:

No Battlestar Galactica movie will ever get made.

8. "Bryan Singer was a fan of the original series airing in 1978."

Translation:

Doesn't mean anything. This has never resulted in a Battlestar movie being made.

9. "9/11 caused the Bryan Singer / Tom DeSanto Battlestar TV series for FOX television to be cancelled in 2001."

Translation:

Mysterious, covert entities  (higher ups) working in the "Universal Studios Black Tower" who have always hated the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" pulled the plug on this production just as they always pull the plug on any "Battlestar 1978" production in the talking stage.

10. "We have some wonderful ideas for Battlestar Galactica."

Translation:

NBC-Universal, Bryan Singer, and Ronald D. Moore have never had any good ideas for Battlestar Galactica.




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