The SyFy Channel's "Haunted Highway" is an Absolute Disaster in Television Programming

Thank God this is only a 6 episode series. We should start worrying when Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern find out how much this series is already hated, and then proceed to renew it for multiple seasons because of that fact.

First of all, the title of this series is a misnomer. Ghosts, spectres, and demons are not being hunted down on the highways and byways of America. Instead, our two crackerjack investigative teams of morons are hunting these entites down in the forests and mountains just off of...all of these highways and byways in America. Which is curious because all sorts of phantoms are literally on the highways and byways of America. Enough to fill more than a 6 episode series. Such as "Resurrection Mary"...the hitchhiking ghost that has made a habit of trekking (on foot and barefoot) up and down Archer Avenue on Chicago's south side....since 1931.

"Haunted Highway" displays all of the characteristic problems we have come to expect from these paranormal investigation programs....particularly if the SyFy Channel is producing them.

1. EVP voices and any other supposed noises from beyond can of course, be created by the producers of all of these types of programs on the dubbing stage during post-production of each individual episode. So, in the case of "Haunted Highway", we supposedly heard "Shadow People" clanking chains together in response to a question put to them by one of the investigative teams.

It's fairly obvious that if the "dubbing stage" in television production didn't exist for these paranormal shows, neither would Zac Bagans and his "Ghost Adventures" show (for example), that relies upon (99.99% of the time) EVP voice phenonema that can easily be created in post-production on the dubbing stage by television producers. It's no different for "Haunted Highway."

I'm reminded of Kenneth Johnson, the director of the "Incredible Hulk" television pilot who stated quite frankly in his audio commentary for that film, that the voice of the "Hulk" was provided by the late Ted Cassidy on the dubbing stage....growling....pitched down (electronically) one or two octaves on the dubbing stage...to give the Hulk an otherwordly sound....during post-production.

2. "Haunted Highway", more than any other paranormal show, has its investigative teams doing the most unbelievably stupid, assinine things running contrary to general modes of common sense and human behavior.

a. Why would you (a guy) even entertain the notion of leaving your female companion (partner) alone and unprotected by herself in the woods at 3:00 frickin' am in the morning while you go off to check on something else? I would want that girl at my side at all times just so I could keep her alive from whatever might jump her in the dark. Whether it be a phantom, a drunk, or a rapist. Especially when she's cute as a button like Jael de Pardo.

b. The "First Commandment" of "Haunted Highway" apparently is...make as much noise as possible (both intentional and incidental) in the woods to draw Spectres to you. What if these Spectres are cold-blooded killers? Such as "The Shadow People?" Then I guess "Haunted Highway" will never complete the filming of its 6 episode run unless it is recast....by people not dead. Yes, the two investigative teams in "Haunted Highway" yell, chant, sing, run through especially noisy...twig snapping shrubbery everytime they freak out (which is 100% of the time)....at 3:00 am in the frickin' morning smack dab in the middle of ground zero where "Bigfoot on Steroids" lives and has them all under surveillance.

3. One episode had one of our teams going in to check out a 6 foot tall, hairy dude with scraggly hair down to his shoulders. Sort of a "Bigfoot reject from Woodstock 1969." It wouldn't have been illegal for this team to go into this investigative situation...fully armed. Hell, I think just about any law enforcement agency and judge would have encouraged it. A rifle....a bazooka....hand grenades....a rapid fire, signal flare sub-machine gun. Take that sucker down...even if he is "The Missing Link." The important thing is....Jael de Pardo would have remained safe.

4. These paranormal shows always miss the fundamental point of human survival while ghost hunting. If you see something 300 yards away from you (via infrared vision) trotting across the field looking like it has 12 legs and coming towards you....YOU OPEN FIRE!! You ask questions later...while examining the pieces of the supernatural entity you just blew away with 1200 rounds of live, heat seeking ammo.

I'll give "Haunted Highway" 0 stars.....and Jael de Pardo 3000 stars.

The Reason Why Bonnie Hammer's SyFy Channel Should Have Gone Out of Business a Long, Long, Long Time Ago

http://ethicsalarms.com/2010/12/28/syfy-and-the-absence-of-integrity-a-case-study/

SyFy and the Absence of Integrity: A Case Study

At TV.com, there is a fascinating account of the evolution of the Sci Fi Channel, once cable’s reliable source for science fiction programming, into SyFy, which is nothing of the sort. As the article points out, the two individuals who have run the channel since 2002, Bonnie Hammer and Dave Howe, appear not to like, understand, or trust the genre their channel supposedly was dedicated to advancing. Now, having cancelled the two shows its science fiction fans most enjoyed, “Caprica” and “Stargate Universe,” SyFy is a bona fide whatsis, with a schedule that includes professional wrestling, cheesy horror movies, ghost hunter and psychic reality shows, and whatever else Hammer and Howe think will attract what they regard as a non-geek audience.

Here is the problem: if a project, enterprise, or mission has to turn into something else entirely to achieve what its management considers success, then it has already failed. If the original objective was worth pursuing, then integrity and honesty requires that either new leadership dedicated to the core mission be recruited, or the project should end.

It is clear from the various comments in the article that neither Howe nor Hammer ever respected either the Sci Fi Channel’s core audience and genre programming. That being the case, it was unethical for them to accept the challenge of running it. If Disney has to become a porn company to stay in the black, it has an obligation to just fold its tents and start a new company with a different mission. Having the Cartoon Channel run by people who don’t like cartoons, or the Soap Opera Channel run by people who think soap operas are stupid, or the History Channel operated by suits who think history is boring, is unfair to the vision, the mission, and the audience of those channels.

Yet the Sci Fi Channel was placed in the hands of executives who looked upon science fiction and its fans as obstacles to profitability. As a result, even if their business model “succeeds”, the mission of having a science fiction cable channel will have failed.

The absence of integrity is fatal.

After 13 Years of Producing Absolutely Nothing Together, This is The Only Device We Have to Accurately Guage The Productivity of Universal Studios & Bryan Singer's Partnership Together

This of course, can be applied to Universal Studios and Bryan Singer's repeated inability to produce a "Battlestar Galactica" movie together during the past decade and counting (13 years.)

It can also be applied to Bryan Singer's growing inability to start or complete any sort of film project everytime he is penciled in as the..."Director."

1. Logan's Run
2. Excalibur
3. Battlestar Galactica
4. Six Billion Dollar Man
5. Jack The Giant Killer

Maybe the time has come for Bryan Singer to cease announcing to the world that he is involved with a film project (as the "Director") unless he is certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that he can and will complete that movie...as the "Director."

Have these two entites come to symbolize..."Immobility in Hollywood?"

Reading Between The Lines As to Why Warner Brothers Shelved Bryan Singer's "Excalibur" Movie

http://www.totalfilm.com/news/bryan-singer-s-excalibur-remake-canned

quote - "As a fan of John Boorman’s bloody epic Excalibur, TF was interested to see what a modern-day retelling of the King Arthur legend would look like.

Sadly, Bryan Singer’s update of the 1981 film has been shelved by Warner Bros. in favour of a different Arthurian tale.

“Yeah, unfortunately it is no longer going to happen,” Singer told SFX at the annual Sitges Film Festival. “I was really enthused to do it. I’m a fan of John Boorman’s movie and it was my intention to get it going after Jack The Giant Killer was completed.”

“The project was with Warner Bros and what happened is that another King Arthur project was brought to them during that time. Basically, it was just more ready to go into production than ours was. That is why our version of Excalibur ended up being negated.”

Singer isn't letting the disappointment get to him, mind.

“When that happened, it allowed me to go straight into developing Battlestar Galactica - which I think will be really exciting.” - unquote

Source: SFX

What's highlighted in red (above) is very important here.  I doubt that this was an issue where Warner Brothers just suddenly decided to go with another King Arthur project. The implication here is that Bryan Singer was just taking too damn long to develop his movie, so Warner Brothers chose another King Arthur project (and another director...one more expeditious than Bryan Singer) to get it knocked out and into theaters as quickly as possible.

Bryan Singer's work habits as a movie director fall into two categories:

1. Movies he never starts or completes at all -

"Excalibur, Battlestar Galactica, Logan's Run, Six Billion Dollar Man"

2. Movies that take him half decades to complete -

"Jack The Giant Killer", "Excalibur" - (if Warner Brothers hadn't cut him off at the pass)

It is now the "new normal" for Bryan Singer to hear about him dropping out of a film project he had announced earlier.

Of course, we're never going to find out why Bryan Singer went directly into directing a sitcom pilot for NBC-TV ("The Munsters") directly after Warner Brothers nuked his "Excalibur" movie. And directly after Bryan Singer stated that his very, very, very next project would be a "Battlestar Galactica" movie.

Bryan Singer So Rarely Completes a Movie Nowadays, That The People In His Old Neighborhood Probably Throw a "Block Party" in Celebration...

....When he does manage to complete a movie....

Bryan Singer Really Soars at Completing Non-Theatrical Projects. With Theatrical Projects However, Bryan Singer Inches Along At a Snail's Pace

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/09/future-shock-bryan-singer-discusses-his-new-web-series-h/?ref=television


1. His "Jack The Giant Killer" is still in post-production after being in post-production for ages.

2. The only projects where he makes significant, expeditious progress is in television production. As I said before, in television (for example), Bryan Singer has alot of bosses cracking the whip for deadlines to be met....as in "House" and "The Munsters." Though his web series "H" is nearing completion, it took him a long time to do that.

3. Left to his own devices and allowed to function autonomously, Bryan Singer makes no progress whatsoever in the movie industry with theatrical films such as "Excalibur", "Logan's Run", "Battlestar Galactica", and "Six Billion Dollar Man." It is taking him double the normal time to get "Jack The Giant Killer" beyond post-production and into theaters.

4. Battlestar Galactica....announced by Singer in October 2011 has typically made no production progress nine months later....

Is The Day Coming (Perhaps Closer Than We Think) When Bryan Singer Will Be Frequently Directing "Schlocko" Horror Movies For The SyFy Channel Under a "Pseudonym?"

When he isn't directing "Sitcoms" for the Disney Channel and NBC-TV?

A quiet and permanent career transition such as this from theatrical films to the "doggy dog world" of the SyFy Channel and sitcoms would be right up Bryan Singer's alley.

Because quite frankly, you never know what Bryan Singer is doing from one moment to the next until he abandons theatrical films (Logan's Run, Battlestar Galactica, Six Billion Dollar Man), or announces new theatrical projects he will eventually abandon.