Monday, October 31, 2011
More Proof (As If Any More Proof Were Needed) That Universal Studios Always Has Its Head Up Its Own Ass With "Battlestar Galactica"
The "Battlestar Galactica" geniuses at Universal Studios are at it again, demonstrating their usual corporate inability to "hit the broadside of a barn" when it comes to anything and everything remotely associated with "Battlestar Galactica."
Universal Studios is making their bullshit "GINO" movie with Bryan Singer, yet they're prepping merchandise based upon the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series to go along with it. Let me say that again because it sounds...more than vaguely important in the grand scheme of things. Universal Studios is making their bullshit "GINO" movie with Bryan Singer, yet they're prepping merchandise based upon the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series to go along with it. This is one of those warped and deranged manifestations of total illogic we have come to expect from a corporation that never has and never will have a cerebral handle on what "Battlestar Galactica" really is.
Apparently, Universal Studios wants to go after the widest possible mass market audience with their "Battlestar Galactica" movie, yet they're basing their film on Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica" which already failed with mass market audiences on both the old Sci-Fi Channel and NBC-TV, and they're merchandising products based upon the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series (the only commercially successful "Battlestar Galactica" thus far) to tie-in with their bullshit "GINO" movie. This isn't "Mass Marketing Logic 101", it's "Mass Marketing Insanity 101."
Not only do the idiots at Universal Studios not understand "Battlestar Galactica" in the slightest, but they also don't understand "Mass Marketing Principles 101." This will be Universal Studios fourth journey down the road of failure with Ronald D. Moore's commercially unsuccessful take on "Battlestar Galactica."
(1) The "GINO" series
(3) "Blood & Chrome"
(4) Their dreaded, upcoming "GINO" movie with Bryan Singer directing.
At what point are these idiots at Universal Studios going to wake up and kick each other in the ass? At what point are they going to finally admit..."Ronald D. Moore's bullshit just isn't working for us economically?" I think it's the employment security at Universal Studios that keeps these idiots going like the "Energizer Bunny." They know that they will never get fired by continuing to go down the path of economic devastation with Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica." Unless of course, Comcast provides some corporate parental oversight.
Posted by Languatron at 8:38 AM
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Universal Studios has never done anything right with "Battlestar Galactica." It never has and it never will. Universal Studios laughable management of the property has always fallen into two categories: (1) Not doing anything at all with "Galactica" and pissing everybody off in the process, and (2) Habitually falling back on Ronald D. Moore's sham take on the property long since proven to be a commercial dud with mass market audiences, and pissing everybody off in the process.
Under the ownership and guidance of any other movie studio in Hollywood, "Battlestar Galactica" would have been celebrating its 33rd year of boundless, financial success as a significant threat, significant third alternative, and rival to "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." Under the guidance and ownership of Universal Studios for the past 33 years, what have "Battlestar Galactica" fans gotten instead?
1. A crappy syndication package of the episodes released to local television stations in te fall of 1980.
2. A crappy VHS tape release of not the best episodes in 1986.
3. A total ignoring of the rebirth of Science Fiction on television via "Star Trek-TNG" in 1987.
4. A total ignoring of the thriving syndication market for Science Fiction in the late 1980s.
5. A total ignoring of the continued success of "Star Trek" in 1992 via "Deep Space Nine."
6. A total ignoring of the continued success of "Star Trek" in 1995 via "Voyager"
7. A total ignoring of the success of "Babylon 5."
8. A total ignoring of "Battlestar Galactica's" 10th Anniversary in September 1988.
9. A total ignoring of "Battlestar Galactica's" 20th Anniversary in September 1998.
10. A total ignoring of "Battlestar Galactica's 30th Anniversary in September 2008.
11. A crappy DVD set released in October 2003.
12. A total (and typical) corporate misinterpretation of the "Battlestar Galactica" property in 2003 via Ronald D. Moore's steaming pile of donkey crap.
So, I say to you Universal Studios. Don't even bother making this stupid ass "Galactica in Name Only" movie of yours, with Bryan Singer on board...once again. Because all that you're going to do (and all that you are cerebrally capable of doing) is piss everybody off with this movie of yours, because it will never be what mass market audiences want.
Yes, Universal Studios. All that everyone has ever gotten from your laughable and embarrassing mismanagement of "Battlestar Galactica" (for 33 years) is corporate mischief and corporate bullshit.
Obstructing "Battlestar Galactica" from being a significant third alternative, rival, and threat to "Star Wars" and "Star Trek."
Posted by Languatron at 10:06 AM
Friday, October 28, 2011
The Flawed And Brain Dead Corporate Interpretation of "Battlestar Galactica" Has Gone On Long Enough
Way back in 1990, when CBS-TV was working on the television series "The Flash", one of the CBS-TV executives actually suggested that the Flash run around in a jogging suit (sweat pants and a sweat shirt.) This executive was obviously oblivious to the fact that the Flash wore a bright red suit with winged ear pieces and a lightning bolt belt. Thankfully for television viewers, this stupid ass idea of this CBS-TV executive never gained traction. Instead (thankfully), the producers of "The Flash" won out and commissioned a very talented wardrobe and makeup person to sculpt an actual Flash suit for actor John Wesley Shipp. No doubt it was conceived and sculpted in a similar manner to the Batman suit worn by actor Michael Keaton in 1989. You weren't quite sure what material the Flash suit was sculpted and constructed out of, but you did know that actor Shipp looked like an absolute bad-ass in it. Particularly in the pilot episode when they had the time to light him with moody lighting, and airbrush his suit muscles with black highlights.
Unfortunately for television viewers, there never has been any such common sense intervention and vetoing rooted in creativity and imagination (from external sources) to stop Universal Studios executives from turning Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica" into a ceaseless nightmare of corporate, bad decision making.
1. Let's have everybody wearing present day three-piece business suits.
2. Let's have everybody wearing present day military fatigues.
3. Let's have everybody wearing present day tank tops and jogging gear.
4. Let's have present day urban areas and apartment buildings.
5. Let's have present day automobiles.
6. Let's have present day eyeglasses and clocks.
Universal Studios executives and their hired stealth marketing thugs can ramble on and on about how this was the correct direction to go. But, all of us from the luxury of our objective vantage points know better. These bad decisions were made because of (1) a low budget, and (2) a thorough and unprecedented lack of imagination in art direction / production design, and wardrobe design.
The general public is not going to go and see this bullshit in their local cinemas, because they didn't stick around to watch this bullshit on the old Sci-Fi Channel and NBC-TV.
Posted by Languatron at 9:51 AM
Thursday, October 27, 2011
We Can Make An Educated Guess Well In Advance As To How Universal Studios Will Con The Public With Their "Battlestar Galactica" Movie
That's right, Universal Studios. Your con game is already beginning at this early stage of development (what should have been your early stage of development 3 years ago and 10 years ago.) Trying to con the public into believing that the "Battlestar Galactica" movie will be based upon the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series and not Ronald D. Moore's commercially failed turd fest, as is the case in the film clip above.
I have a prediction for you, Universal Studios. If the first frame of your movie begins with an intense camera close-up of the acne scars on Edward James Olmos, with a gradual camera pull-back of him lighting a cigar in a contemporary looking apartment, your movie will be toast. Audiences will immediately begin walking out of the theaters, because they will not be the slightest bit interested in watching "GINO" on the movie screen, just as they weren't the slightest bit interested in watching it on the old Sci-Fi Channel and NBC-TV.
Better be careful in how you market this train wreck of yours, Universal Studios. If you con the public with misleading marketing as you're already apparently doing in the film clip above (the poster and cast photo from the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series) and then not deliver on the two images (the public will punish you severely by taking their business elsewhere.) In short Universal Studios, for your own financial sake, you had best be making a "1978 Battlestar Galactica" movie and not a "GINO" movie.
Besides, the public doesn't like close-up shots of acne scars on giant movie screens.
Posted by Languatron at 1:37 PM
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
She is television's all purpose media personality. She fills slots where she is needed. Meredith Vieira has hosted "The Today Show", "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" and heck...I think I even saw her in a television movie with Gail O'Grady. In a move that surprises no one, the mainstream, non-Science Fiction channel known as the "SyFy Channel" has recruited Meredith Vieira to help hunt ghosts on their "Ghost Hunters" show. What the heck, right? I think Meredith Vieira was a dream hire for Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. She is generic...all purpose television. She perpetuates the SyFy Channel's dream of not having a discernable on-air identity. Her mere presence assists the SyFy Channel in being indistinguishable (content wise) from ABC-TV, NBC-TV, and all other manifestations of generic television.
So quite logically, the SyFy Channel hired her to strap on a "Proton Pack" in order to assist their "Ghost Hunters" show.
I think Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern want the SyFy Channel to be a cozy off-shoot of ABC-TV, NBC-TV and everywhere else Meredith Vieira has been. A cozy off-shoot where Meredith Vieira will eventually show up. I can see it now. The SyFy Channel eventually hiring Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa to appear in "Scare Tactics." Hiring Richard Karn to appear on "Marcel's Quantum Kitchen." Hiring Wayne Brady to referee "WWF Wrestling." Hiring Drew Carey to appear in a weekly monster movie.
The comfy...cozy...SyFy Channel. Where you can always count on predictable and boring mainstream blandness, and crossover filler from the other mainstream networks.
Posted by Languatron at 7:41 PM
Monday, October 24, 2011
Paramount Pictures Learned Its Lesson From "Star Trek-The Motion Picture." Universal Studios Didn't Learn Shit From "GINO"
Paramount Pictures released "Star Trek-The Motion Picture" in December 1979. As early as the Spring of 1980, Paramount Pictures knew that they didn't have a hit on their hands, and they also realized at the same time that they had gone in the wrong direction with their "Star Trek" revival. They already knew at such an early time that a wafer thin script and endless special effects shots were not what "Star Trek" fans wanted. Paramount Pictures quickly corrected its course and got "Star Trek" back on track with "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn", released in the summer of 1982. It was a box office smash.
No such intelligence exists at Universal Studios, where this entire idiotic corporation has been clinging stubbornly to Ronald D. Moore's commercially failed rendition of "Battlestar Galactica" infamusly known as "GINO." And they are still clinging to it after almost a decade. After almost a decade of "GINO" itself failing commercially, and its spin-offs "Caprica" and "Blood & Chrome" failing commercially as well. Did Universal Studios miss something in the past eight years? What part of..."Hey Universal!! You have a fucking flop on your hands"....did they not understand? What part of "GINO" failing on the old Sci-Fi Channel (and NBC-TV) did they not understand? What part of "Caprica" failing on the old Sci-Fi Channel did they not understand? What part of "Blood & Chrome" D.O.A. did they not understand? What part of all three of these series having low DVD sales and failing in syndication did they not understand? What is it about a simple business failure and mass market climates rejecting your crappy products does Universal Studios not understand?
When you have widespread commercial failures of this magnitude repeating themselves again and again because Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica" simply was / is not accepted by mass market audiences...you don't try and ram the same flawed project through the movie division of Universal Studios for an eventual theatrical release. You go in another creative direction instead. You say to yourselfs..."Alright, Ronald D. Moore failed to get "Battlestar Galactica" off the ground, now we'll try another producer / writer. Maybe we'll try Joss Whedon, James Cameron, even John Carpenter!!" Ronald D. Moore's flawed take on "Battlestar Galactica" simply failed. Get used to it Universal Studios, and live with it.
I think one of the things going on here (from a psychological standpoint) is that Universal Studios has always used the "Battlestar Galactica" copyright as a corporate instrument for expressing their hostility towards the general public. Even if their flawed takes on "Battlestar Galactica" continue to cost them dearly financially, that's alright with them because they are hurling all of their corporate venom at the general public in the process as a trade-off. They also seem to be using the "Battlestar Galactica" copyright as a corporate instrument for trying to assert some sort of delusional authority and dominion over the general public. "You will accept what we put on your television and movie screens whether you like it or not!! Comply!!" I have never in my life witnessed a corporation that so preoccupies itself with what the public doesn't like, and then obsessively always strives to give that same public exactly what it doesn't like. Even when these Universal Studios executives (Russell Sanders drinking buddies) talk about the currently nebulous "Battlestar Galactica" feature film, they immediately slam and rip into the general public. "Why weren't they watching 'Razor?' "Why weren't they watching 'Caprica?' "Where were they when we threw them scraps and bones from the table?" "Languatron doesn't like us!!" "Well, if that's the way the general public is going to be, we're not going to give them anything at all!!" This isn't a professionally run, adult movie studio. It's Russell Sanders frat house drinking buddies, feeling sorry for themselves because the general public doesn't like them. What movie studio in their right mind would have allowed themselves to get so neck deep in the trenches of "not supposed to be interacting with the general public in any way", that they actually forged a dysfunctional barbed wire relationship with the general public during the past 10 years? To the extent that Universal Studios executives actually mention the general public in a hostile manner whenever they discuss "Battlestar Galactica."
It is the creepiest...the most eccentric...and the most "Twilight Zone-esque" corporate behavior of a business I have ever objectively observed. Universal Studios is one strange business!!
Posted by Languatron at 6:26 PM
Sunday, October 23, 2011
At no time during the past 33 years have Universal Studios executives ever wanted to make the fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series happy. The fans have only gotten unrelenting hostility from this corporation from every conceivable standpoint. The "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series remains unrevived to this day because there remains a ceaseless conspiracy going on against it within the "Universal Studios Black Tower." An internal corporate conspiracy beginning in the summer of 1979.
The "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series itself has received nothing but unrelenting hostility from Universal Studios executives beginning in the summer of 1979. "Black Tower executives" half-heartedly tried to sell the series to CBS-TV after it was cancelled by ABC-TV in April 1979. (They didn't try very hard.) Universal Studios agreed to (and should have turned down) ABC-TV's request for "Galactica: 1980" in January 1980. They didn't. Universal Studios then steamrolled its way into the fall of 1980 with episodes of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series badly edited and spliced together for a series of syndicated telefilms. Quite frankly these didn't go over well because of the cold-blooded butchering involved. The year 1986 found Universal Studios releasing (not the best episodes) on poorly manufactured VHS tapes. These too went over poorly because of the crappy manufacturing involved. The year 1987 found Universal Studios not responding in any way to the success of "Star Trek-The Next Generation" in syndication, via bringing the 1978 Battlestar Galactica" series back for at least a wrap-up television movie of some sort. September 1988 found Universal Studios not responding in any way to the 10th Anniversary of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. The year 1992 found Universal Studios not responding in any way to the successes of "Deep Space Nine" and "Babylon 5" in syndication, via bringing back the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series for at least a wrap-up television movie of some sort for the series. The year 1995 found Universal Studios not responding in any way to the success of "Star Trek: Voyager" in syndication, via bringing back the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series for at least a wrap-up television movie of some sort for the series. September 1998 found Universal Studios not responding in any way to the 20th anniversary of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series.
The decade of the 2000s was when Universal Studios corporate hatred of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series officially became a publicly known spectacle of embarrassment for them. They re-engineered the series into Ronald D. Moore's steaming pile of donkey crap, and then tried to act like they were doing us a favor. When we didn't respond favorably to "GINO", Universal Studios hired a group of guerrilla style stealth marketers from the marking firm "Abraham & Harrison" to verbally attack the general public on the old http://www.scifi.com/galactica board for not liking "GINO", and for still liking the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series instead. A conflict still going on here and there in the year 2011. Universal Studios then steamrolled its way into the year 2003 by manufacturing an intentionally defective DVD set of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. These defective DVD sets rolled off of the assembly lines with cracked discs sitting in their plastic trays, discs that froze during play mode, the episodes not really being digitally remastered at all, and the most shameful: The pilot episode being in the worst shape of all visually in comparison to the other episodes. Heavy grain, pops, and floaties in the episodes all greeted the fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. September 2008 found Universal Studios not responding in any way to the 30th anniversary of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series.
Universal Studios knew that the fanbase did not want Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" series to be made, yet they made the damn series anyway. Universal Studios executives and "Abraham & Harrison" employees argued with the general public every step of the way on the old http://www.scifi.com/galactica when "GINO" was in production. Basically their argument was..."The 1978 Battlestar Galactica" series sucks, "GINO" is God's gift to television, and you had damn well better see it that way."
Now, after "GINO" failed commercially, "Caprica" failed commercially, and "Blood & Chrome" failed commercially...Universal Studios has adopted the attitude of being a "holier than thou" corporation that bent over backwards every step of the way to try and please the fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series.
(So says Russell Sanders.)
At what point during the past 33 years, and at what point in the chronology above, did Universal Studios ever bend over backwards to try and please the fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series? When? I've been observing their toxic nonsense, adolescent behavior as a corporation for the past 33 years, and I haven't seen shit from them remotely resembling any attempts to please the fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. What I have repeatedly seen from them, is intentional / deliberate corporate sabotage of not only the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series, but also the entire "Battlestar Galactica" copyright via the toxic crap Ronald D. Moore kept coming up with.
On one final note, Universal Studios would never give the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series a fair shake when exploring its potential viability in being brought back in a new production. After all, this is the same corporation "guilty as charged" in persecuting the hell out of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series for the past 33 years, and the "Galactica" copyright overall.
Posted by Languatron at 12:48 PM
Is The "Imagination Bankrupt" Team of Universal Studios & Ronald D. Moore Regrouping For a "GINO" Movie?
I would definitetely categorize it as one of the top five fears of human existence:
1. public speaking
4. living in a dictatorship
5. Universal Studios & Ronald D. Moore regrouping for a "GINO" movie.
Yes, it hasn't been said yet. But if Universal Studios is going the route of a "GINO" (Galactica in Name Only) movie with Bryan Singer directing, it's only a matter of time before Ronald D. Moore becomes involved. Especially when you consider that Ronald D. Moore's partnership with Sony hasn't yielded one successful project for Moore, in the roughly two years he has been with Sony. Translation: Ronald D. Moore has a lot of free time on his hands now twiddling his thumbs. Why, whatever is Ronald D. Moore ever going to do to pass the time and beat the boredom??
None other than...come back home to his adopted parents... Mama & Papa Universal Studios and SyFy Channel in order to help Bryan Singer make the "GINO" movie. And we can be assured that Ronald D. Moore will be making suggestions (to Bryan Singer) as to what to include in a "GINO" movie:
1. Business suits in outer space.
2. Lots of frowning.
4. Ugly people having sex.
5. Hairy backs
Bryan Singer's career has been shaky enough as it is ever since his disastrous "Superman Returns", but for him to risk even more career instability by returning to the commercial failure of Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica" is beyond preposterous. IT WILL BE CAREER SUICIDE FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED.
A fringe benefit no doubt if Ronald D. Moore's career is destroyed even more in the process.
Posted by Languatron at 9:38 AM
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Ronald D. Moore's Sham Version of "Galactica" Has Reflected Universal Studios Indecisiveness With The Property
Universal Studios has never known what to do with the "Battlestar Galactica" property. They have only known what they have never wanted to do with the property ever again..."The 1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. Ronald D. Moore's sham version of "Battlestar Galactica" has perfectly reflected Universal Studios indecisiveness over the property, and their thorough lack of understanding of it. This indecisiveness and thorough lack of understanding of the property has led to:
1. Business suits in outer space.
2. Edward James Olmos frowning eternally.
3. Art direction / production design looking like present day automobiles and apartment complexes.
7. Ugly people having sex.
8. Hairy backs
10. Boring scripts
This crap is not going to translate into a successful theatrical film for Universal Studios because it did not translate into a successful cable series for them. If a sham rendition of a beloved original Science Fiction television series didn't work in one format, it's not going to work in another format. Universal Studios modus operandi being...If it didn't work in the microwave, maybe it will work in the toaster oven. Universal Studios still not getting the unanimous mass market conclusion that Ronald D. Moore's sham version of "Battlestar Galactica" thoroughly sucked ass. Isn't Universal Studios "Black Tower" supposed to be staffed with people who have a bare minimum working knowledge of potential survivability in mass market environments? This sucker failed twice (on Sci-Fi Channel and NBC-TV). Sheeesh, Universal Studios. Give it a fucking rest.
The one thing Universal Studios does know how to do with the "Battlestar Galactica" property, is piss everybody the fuck off. They've been pissing everybody the fuck off for 33 years and counting.
The mass market conclusion is this:
Universal Studios needs to get the hell out of...."The Battlestar Galactica business." Because they thoroughly suck at it.
Posted by Languatron at 9:49 AM
Friday, October 21, 2011
A Decade Later, Universal Studios Is Still Trying To Force Audiences To Accept Ronald D. Moore's Commercially Failed Version Of "Galactica"
Not surprising in the least, the news continues to get worse and worse as what Universal Studios has planned for a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film continues to unfold. The same feature film they were supposed to have started working on three years ago. The same feature film they were supposed to have made and completed back in 2001.
We are told in the above article that what the screenwriter has in store for this feature film will not conflict with Ronald D. Moore's sham version of "Battlestar Galactica" at all. This is Universal Studios roundabout way of saying that although Ronald D. Moore's sham version of "Battlestar Galactica" was not commercially successful in any way, they're still going to try and ram his sham version of "Battlestar Galactica" down the public's throat (a decade later) in a new format. Moore's sham version of "Battlestar Galactica" wasn't commercially successful on the Sci-Fi Channel, wasn't commercially successful on NBC-TV, and most certainly will not be successful in your local Cineplex. Think about the "Firefly" theatrical film.
Universal Studios executives still haven't learned that no matter how passionately they continue to cling to Ronald D. Moore's sham and commercially failed version of "Battlestar Galactica"...the public is still not going to accept it, regardless of whether it's shown on the SyFy Channel, NBC-TV, or the local Cineplex. Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica" is dead in the water. It was pronounced dead a decade ago the moment mass market audiences rejected it.
For this already doomed theatrical film, Universal Studios apparently wants to fuse Moore's failed version of "Battlestar Galactica" with the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series...creating a commercially doomed hybrid guaranteed to piss everybody off. Sort of like the Republicans attaching bullshit earmarks to really good Democratic bills, and keeping the entire country held hostage that way. In essence, Universal Studios is saying..."Ronald D. Moore's sham version of 'Battlestar Galactica' may have failed commercially, but we're still going to try and ram it down your throat by fusing it with the '1978 Battlestar Galactica' series, and displaying it in a new format (theatrical film)."
"Take it or leave it, general public." - Universal Studios
I'LL LEAVE IT...and stick with the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Bryan Singer states in the above article that he has wanted to make a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film for the past decade. Was that during the time he "bailed out" on the "Battlestar Galactica" feature film in production in 2001, or the time he "bailed out" on the "Battlestar Galactica" feature film intended to be in production starting in 2009? He had two opportunities in the decade of the 2000s to make his dream come true, but he "bailed out" on both opportunities. Whose fault is it that a decade later, Bryan Singer's dreams for himself haven't come true yet? Hint: All he has to do is look in the mirror. When is this man going to begin taking responsibility for his own actions when his "dreams" don't come true?
It states in the article that Bryan Singer doesn't want to do "Battlestar Galactica" as a feature film unless the conditions are "just right." I suspect that the "conditions" Bryan Singer is looking for, is not having to direct the damn thing while still drawing a director's salary. He doesn't want to work...but he does want to get paid.
He wants to have a "Thingamajig Consultant" credit on the damn thing, while sitting at home and watching the "View" with Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg...while drawing a director's salary for not directing "Battlestar Galactica - The Feature Film." Yes, I think that is what would be "just right" for Bryan Singer.
We also have the issue as to why Bryan Singer is still attached to this damn project. There are other directors who can direct this thing (and not chronically bail out on the project.) Singer has a bad reputation of "bailing out" on projects. It's ludicrous that Singer is still on board this thing. He is a deadbeat director.
Universal Studios could have assigned a scriptwriter to this thing long before now. Such as..."Oh, I don't know"...say three years ago when they initially announced this project in February 2009? That's a good example of the old fashioned notions of expediency...punctuality...emotional maturity in business. Notions totally foreign and extra-terrestrial to Universal Studios executives. To this very day, Universal Studios remains a stenching cess-pool of emotional immaturity and catastrophic business practices of the most embarrassing order. Comcast would be wise to begin taking the trash out of Universal Studios beginning right now. Trash that has been rotting at Universal Studios since the summer of 1979.
Posted by Languatron at 7:43 PM
How Soon Will Bryan Singer "Bail Out" On His Latest Desire To Make A "Battlestar Galactica" Feature Film?
Whenever Bryan Singer is associated with a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film, bad things happen. Whenever Bryan Singer associates himself with a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film, bad things happen. Whenever Bryan Singer claims his fondness for this 1978 television series he supposedly enjoyed so much as a child, bad things happen.
Bryan Singer supposedly enjoyed the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series so much as a child, that he "bailed out" on the feature film being made in its honor back in 2001 (in order to direct "X-Men 2"), leaving less than clout endowed Tom DeSanto behind to try and keep the production propped up as FOX Television was fast losing interest due to Singer's departure. I don't believe the 9/11 excuse for a minute. Why didn't 9/11 shut down "X-Men 2" as well?
Bryan Singer supposedly enjoyed the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series so much as a child, that he "bailed out" on the feature film being made in its honor in 2009 (in order to direct "Jack The Giant Peach", "Excalibur", and executive produce the latest "X-Men" flick.)
I don't think the question is..."How much did Bryan Singer enjoy the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series as a child?" But rather..."How much did Bryan Singer HATE the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series as a child?
And now...this notoriously known film director infamously known for "bailing out" on feature films he initially claimed to want to direct, wants to reimagine the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series? What happened to the originally scheduled 2009 feature film being a continuation of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series? We saw what happened when Bryan Singer reimagined "Superman" in "Superman Returns." He reimagined "Superman" into a clinically depressed, brooding peeping tom...PUSSY-WHIPPED...over Lois Lane. "Superman" could just FLY to any global whore house and get his mind off of Lois Lane...(snapping fingers)...just like that. What cop would dare arrest him for being a "john?" On top of that, Bryan Singer's reimagined "Superman" had less than a half-paragraph of dialogue in the entire movie. A grave error overlooked by the Warner Brothers executives who viewed the dailies and final cut, and didn't have a problem with that.
The last thing a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film needs, is an emotionally immature and irresponsible film director who WILL bail out on this project at any point during production. He's already bailed out on this project...TWICE. "Battlestar Galactica" fans don't need to put up with his bullshit anymore.
Posted by Languatron at 1:23 PM
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Make no mistake. Stu Phillips is one of the greatest musical composers in film and television. His theme music for "Battlestar Galactica" is one of the most majestic, beautiful, and awe-inspiring scores ever composed for a space opera. I'm a huge fan of his work from "Battlestar Galactica" to "Knight Rider."
I dare say however, that one of Stu Phillips strengths was not in composing some of the music cues for the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series, primarily in the pilot episode. In particular, I refer to the following music cues:
(1) The sequence where Zac is being gradually pursued and shot down by the Cylons, where Zac himself explodes into a fireball. I've often thought to myself why Stu Phillips didn't break the melody up into a bridge and then come back down to the primary melody. It sounds irritating without a bridge.
(2) The sequence where Colonel Tigh gathers up the Colonial Warrior uniforms in the officer's quarters. In God's name, why didn't he branch that melody off into a bridge as well, and then come back down to the primary melody? Again, without a bridge, the melody is irritating to listen to.
I'll give Stu Phillips the benefit of the doubt here, and theorize that because of time constraints involved in working on the pilot episode, he didn't have time to compose a bridge for both music cues.
(3) His music cue in "Lost Planet of the Gods" where the female Viper pilots were in combat for the first time. Again, not very good in my opinion.
(4) The sequence where Starbuck has to crash land his Viper aboard the "Galactica" in the pilot episode has a music cue not too thrilling. On top of that, I swear I have heard that music cue somewhere before prior to it appearing in the pilot episode of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. In other words, I still recall hearing it in another movie or television production prior to September 17th, 1978.
(5) His music cue in "Gun on Ice Planet Zero" where explosive charges are being placed inside of the pulsar cannon station again, didn't do it for me either.
In these other examples, I'll give Stu Phillips the benefit of the doubt again and theorize that ABC-TV was meddling with "Battlestar Galactica" to such a degree, they were telling Stu Phillips how to compose music badly.
As the series went on however, particularly in the final episode "Hand of God", Stu Phillips music cues improved dramatically. Particularly the sequences where Apollo, Starbuck, and Sheba were surveying three planets from their Vipers, and Starbuck & Apollo inside of the Cylon Basestar.
Posted by Languatron at 11:26 AM
Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto, and Glen A. Larson Have Been The "Dutch Elm Disease" of "Battlestar Galactica"
Yes, Universal Studios has done its fair share of "Anti-Galactica Trolling" for the past 33 years as evidenced and documented in the book above...but Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto, and Glen A. Larson have been destructive forces towards "Battlestar Galactica" unto themselves.
A "Battlestar Galactica" feature film was supposed to have been made (by Singer, DeSanto, and Larson) back in 2001. The infamous urban legend being that the tragedy of 9/11 put an end to this production. How exactly did the tragedy of 9/11 kill the 2001 feature film? Did Singer, DeSanto, and Larson have loved ones who were killed in the tragedy? As I recall, the nations airports weren't closed for very long, so if it was an issue of filmmaking supplies and equipment having to be flown in somewhere, a minor issue like that wouldn't have shut down the entire production permanently since the nations airports were only closed for a short period of time. Then again, as I recall, the 2001 feature film was being made directly on the Universal Studios lot, where every conceivable piece of equipment the three of them would need was within arms distance reach. Even if the film were being made in Vancouver, (which is a mini-filmmaking supply factory unto itself), everything the three of them would have needed, would still have been within arms distance reach.
Universal Studios latest announcement of a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film occurred in February 2009. It's been three years since that announcment without any sort of "9/11 Tragedy" obstructing the work schedules of Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto, and Glen A. Larson in any way...yet the film still didn't get made within the past three years. I firmly believe that if 9/11 had not occurred a decade ago, the 2001 feature film still would not have been made. The fact of the matter is, whenever Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto, and Glen A. Larson are attached to a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film (regardless of the circumstances), the film never gets made.
If Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto, and Glen A. Larson were to be so kind as to bless the regular business world with their presence...with a work ethic like that in tow...they would immediately get fired regardless of what industry they were working in. Whether it be insurance...real estate...law...auto mechanics...retail...fast food...private investigations...law enforcement...firefighting...or forest ranging. The fact of the matter is, Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto, and Glen A. Larson have no work ethics at all. It shows in the fact that the three of them have not produced a damn thing together in the past decade. Conventional wisdom dictates, that if you don't produce something regardless of what industry you work in...you get fired. Period. If there is a such thing as an "All Purpose Firing" of personnel in Hollywood, no one deserves it more than Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto, and Glen A. Larson. The three of them are absolute incompetents with zero work ethics.
Bryan Singer has now come around the bend to wanting to make a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film yet again. (Only because his "Excalibur" movie got the plug pulled on it.) So, he wants to make "Battlestar Galactica" now only because "process of elimination" has occurred, rendering his present work schedule open and he needs a project to keep his sorry ass off the couch watching the "View" with Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg. Of course, how far Bryan Singer gets with this latest desire of his to make a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film is anyone's guess. Will this project get derailed (by Bryan Singer himself) in the pre-production phase, in the present production phase, or in post-production?
What I'm seeing in Bryan Singer's present career trajectory, is someone falling by the wayside ala' Ronald D. Moore. I think "Superman Returns" hurt Bryan Singer's career more than anyone could have possibly imagined. Name any major theatrical genre film Bryan Singer did after "Superman Returns." Combine this with the fact that Bryan Singer now has a habit of "bailing out" on movies he is slated to make ("Battlestar Galactica 2001" for example)...and you have an extremely unreliable film director.
Tom DeSanto and Glen A. Larson just don't care. They just attach their names to whatever Bryan Singer announces he is doing, and continue to go about their private lives.
Thanks to Bryan Singer, Tom DeSanto, and Glen A. Larson..."Battlestar Galactica" is in as much deep shit as ever.
Posted by Languatron at 7:53 AM
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Bryan Singer is Still Moving Ahead With "Battlestar Galactica?" Oh, Really? At This Point Does Anyone Even Care Anymore?
Let me direct all of you to an undeniable fact about the would be "Battlestar Galactica" theatrical film that both Bryan Singer and Glen A. Larson were supposed to have been working on since 2009:
Yes, the chronology clearly shows that Glen A. Larson and Bryan Singer have quite frankly, wasted the past three years not doing a damn thing with "Battlestar Galactica." And now apparently, only because the deal with the "Excalibur" movie fell through...Bryan Singer now has a renewed interest in doing a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film? What is this scam? "Battlestar Galactica" only gets made through process of elimination? It only gets made when all of the other scheduled Bryan Singer projects drop like flies and he has enough time on his hands to sit at home 30 odd days a month watching "The View" with Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg?
So now, because both Glen A. Larson and Bryan Singer weren't working on any "Battlestar Galactica" feature film during the past three years...we have to wait yet another two or three years for Larson and Singer to make this stupid movie? And we're supposed to be grateful (??) that it may finally get made now only because the demise of the "Excalibur" movie opened up a window of opportunity for both Larson and Singer to get off of their collective asses and do something?
Of course, this mess is ultimately the responsibility of Universal Studios. What the hell have they been doing for the past three years? Why is it whenever a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film is the topic of discussion, only Bryan Singer's and Glen A. Larson's names are brought up? There are other talented people in Hollywood who could have been making this movie for the past three years. Joss Whedon, JJ Abrams, James Cameron, and even Steven Spielberg if he wanted to betray his friend (George Lucas.) Other people could even have gotten all of the pre-production and prep work done (during the past three years) for this movie until Bryan Singer was ready to come on board for principal photography. Or, if all of the prep work had been done in two years and Singer wasn't avaiable, they could have assigned another director to the project. Why is it the "Law of the Universe" that Bryan Singer is the only director ever considered for this project? Especially when you consider how badly he fucked up "Superman Returns?" Why not give the project to Martin Campbell...director of the "Green Lantern" movie?
So now, because nothing was done in the past three years (compliments and courtesy of Universal Studios), we have a situation where (1) Universal Studios won't have any sort of popcorn movie to compete with JJ Abrams "Star Trek" in the summer of 2012...and (2) The long journey begins where we know damn well that at some point, Bryan Singer's intended "Galactica" movie will fall apart and suffer the same fate as "Excalibur."
(Snapping fingers)...Hey Comcast!! Over here!! I've got another bullshit mess for you to clean up at Universal Studios involving "Battlestar Galactica."
Posted by Languatron at 10:08 AM
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Universal Studios is releasing season one (and season one only) of "Buck Rogers in The 25th Century" on January 24th. Yes, the Gil Gerard series. They are doing so because season one is the fan favorite season while season two is donkey crap. Since when is Universal Studios doing anything on behalf of fan favoritism? This isn't the Universal Studios I know!!
The Universal Studios I know spent the entire decade of the 2000s verbally assaulting the general public on Internet bulletin boards such as http://forums.syfy.com/ simply because the general public expressed their fondness and affection for the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. They even hired a stealth marketing firm ("Abraham & Harrison") to help them verbally assault the general public on Internet bulletin boards, in the decade of the 2000s.
Now suddenly...Universal Studios cares enough about the fanbase of "Buck Rogers in The 25th Century" to separate the good season from the bad season for an upcoming DVD release? What's next? Are they going to do a Special Edition DVD release of "Saga of a Star World" - The pilot episode of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series? With an actual digital clean-up of the original negative with even more deleted scenes inserted? Wishful thinking I know.
I could be wrong but....What I think is happening here...is that Comcast is now fully immersed (with its corporate sleeves rolled up) in cleaning up the bullshit at Universal Studios and SyFy Channel. The bullshit we all saw and witnessed during the entire decade of the 2000s. The bullshit where...you were penalized and persecuted by Universal Studios and SyFy Channel for simply being a fan of their classic shows.
It will be interesting to see where this unusual development arising from a newly Comcast managed Universal Studios...leads us in the future. Perhaps to a Special Edition DVD release of..."Saga of a Star World?"
Saturday, October 15, 2011
1. The "Thing" remake movie - He ultimately wasn't involved with it despite earlier announcements.
2. "17th Precinct" - Cancelled by NBC-TV before it ever aired.
3. "Virtuosity" - Cancelled by FOX TV before it ever aired.
4. "Blood & Chrome" - Apparently dead on arrival at SyFy Channel.
5. "Caprica" - Cancelled after a half dozen episodes.
6. "GINO" (Moore's rotten version of "Battlestar Galactica") Four low rated seasons and forgotten.
The article linked above points to two supposedly upcoming projects from Ronald D. Moore.
1. "Wild Wild West" remake
2. "The McCulloughs"
Now, the article linked above is over a year old. It doesn't take a television series over a year to come into being. If CBS-TV wanted a remake of "Wild Wild West", it would have been airing at the latest...last month. So, once again we are moving into territory all too familiar when ever Ronald D. Moore's name is attached to any project. The project ultimately...never pans out. The only reason some of his projects got any sort of "legs" on the SyFy Channel, is become of some sort of friendship thing going on between Moore and SyFy Channel that from what I could tell...was friendship first...and business dead last.
I said this much earlier, and I'll say it again. Away from the SyFy Channel...his projects simply don't survive. His batting average thus far working for Sony has been zero-zero-zero-zero...etc. Unfortunately for Ronald D. Moore...Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern can't race on over to Sony and put their collective arms around him to ensure that "Wild, Wild West" and "The McCulloughs" survive to reach their airdates. Ronald D. Moore is in the adult world now away from his protective family....SyFy Channel. And it's not working.
Ronald D. Moore is growing an ever increasing list of ill-fated projects. Not even surviving to reach their airdates. And he's not associated with the SyFy Channel anymore. There has to be a connection somewhere.
What I find to be recurring problems in anything new that Ronald D. Moore puts forth, is that they repeatedly fall into two flawed categories: (1) Classic television series that do not to need to be remade..or...(2) His own ideas that are hardly original in their own right.
"Wild, Wild West" doesn't need to be remade because it was done right the first time. And a youthful Robert Conrad and Ross Martin can't be replaced. There's also the issue of even if Moore's version of "Wild, Wild West" did survive to see broadcast time...it would get cancelled after a half dozen episodes because the itchy trigger fingers of networks nowadays have already cancelled the likes of a "Playboy Bunny" themed television series after three episodes. Sony and Ronald D. Moore should just quit while they're ahead (if the series is still being developed) because no matter how hard they try...they will never reach the 120 odd episodes produced of the classic and only true "Wild, Wild West" television series.
"The McCulloughs" sounds nothing more than a slightly altered variation on "NCIS." But instead of the series being set in some "NCIS" office, it would be set on a boat. I smell another 3 episode broadcast run (if that) and then..."Poof!!"....cancellation. "NCIS" territory has already been superbly handled by Donald Bellisario. Ronald D. Moore need not embarrass himself by trying to compete with him.
I hate to be the bringer of bad tidings, but I report on what I physically see. I see the wheels coming off of Ronald D. moore's career as the go cart continues to speed down the hill. Just look at the evidence numerically listed above.
Friday, October 14, 2011
"The Thing" Remake Movie Has Finally Hit Movie Theaters, And Ronald D. Moore Is Nowhere To Be Found In The Credits
Let's see. What places are hiring right now at slightly above minimim wage? We have Home Depot, we have Hallmark Cards, we have McDonalds, we have Burger King, and we have Taco Bell. You can begin pounding the pavement at these places...Ronald D. Moore!!
Similar in tone to the immortal words spoken by Tony Randall as Felix Unger in the classic "Odd Couple" sitom..."I much fear trouble in the fuselage...Frederick"...."I much fear Ronald D. Moore's future career prospects in Hollywood vanishing right before our very eyes."
Yes, a quick scan of the entire "Above The Line" personnel responsible for this new "Thing" movie indicates that Ronald D. Moore was not involved with it at all. No producing credit, no scriptwriting credit, no nothing.
Are we seeing a pattern develop here? That Ronald D. Moore's efforts on "GINO" and "Caprica" are not opening doors for him in Hollywood? Perhaps Hollywood as a whole does not regard Ronald D. Moore's work on both series as highly as Bonnie Hammer did? Hmmmmm? This in turn is leading to career roadblocks for him?
Hey Ronald D. Moore!!
The popcorn is in the next aisle!!
I wonder who originally said that? Hmmmmmm?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
SyFy Channel's latest claim to shame is broadcasting "Dawn of the Dead" tonight. Not one of the original "Dead" movies directed by George Romero mind you...but one of those second rate zombie knock-off movies littering our pop culture for decades.
From what I can see of SyFy Channel's contributions to Halloween 2011, is that it will be contributions underwhelming and boring in content...devoid of any originality...consisting of cheap-ass horror movies released earlier on cheap-ass DVD.
I have a name change suggestion for the SyFy Channel. "The Cheap Ass Horror Channel." Hey!! You may not be able to make an acronym out of it...but it would be a brutally blunt assessment of what they really are.
What SyFy Channel routinely gets excited about...causes just about everybody to roll their eyes at. There simply hasn't been and never will be anything to get excited about on the SyFy Channel. It is a hollow cable channel run by corporate drones (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern) who have about as much collective talent inside of them to excite the masses of television viewers as would a marathon of infomercials.
So..."Dawn of The Dead" is being broadcast tonight on the SyFy Channel. So what. Who cares. It's a cheap knock-off having been available on DVD since 2004. So...Where is the excitement to be found in the broadcast of this movie tonight on SyFy Channel?
SyFy Channel has never learned that there is no excitement to be found in the repackaging of garbage that wasn't compelling in the first place.
SyFy Channel needs a fresh infusion of life and Bonnie Hammer...David Howe...and Mark Stern...ain't it.
Posted by Languatron at 2:03 PM
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
More than likely...everyone will be watching the ABC Family Channel's "13 Nights of Halloween" instead. Stick with ABC Family people. Their Halloween programming is better, more original, and more fun...and they even have the occasional...brand new...made for television Halloween season movie.
What does the SyFy Channel have to offer this Halloween? Every single horror movie you have already seen on DVD..."Yawn"....with commercial breaks, scenes edited out, and station bumpers. Not a very pleasant prospect for Halloween 2011...is it?
Posted by Languatron at 2:46 PM