Russell Sanders (Captain Ahab)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
After Eight Years, We Know The Sad And Pathetic Way In Which Universal Studios / SyFy Channel Does Business
1. A small and retarded group of cable television executives (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern) are put in charge of overall "Science Fiction" programming and "Battlestar Galactica" programming for the SyFy Channel....and fail to deliver on both counts because neither one of them are the slightest bit knowledgeable on televised "Science Fiction" or "Battlestar Galactica."
2. A small and retarded group of television producers (Ronald D. Moore, David Eick among them) are then given the assignments to provide to SyFy Channel....NBC-TV...and Universal Studios....television programming that is supposed to be "Science Fiction" and / or "Battlestar Galactica" but really isn't because these television producers don't know what the hell either one is.
3. A small and retarded group of hired stealth marketers and other interested parties, (Chris Abrahams, Russell Sanders, Jim Bennett, Glen A. Larson etc.) then proceed to attack the general public on Internet bulletin boards for astutely noticing that (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, Mark Stern, Ronald D. Moore, and David Eick) indeed do not know "jack shit" about the subjects of televised "Science Fiction" and "Battlestar Galactica."
4. This small and retarded group of hired stealth marketers and other interested parties (Chris Abrahams, Russell Sanders. Jim Bennett, Glen A. Larson etc.) then proceed to "feign" innocence on Internet bulletin boards and other Internet social outlets....claiming that they aren't associated with Universal Studios, NBC-TV, or SyFy Channel in any way despite the fact that the lot of them have spent the past decade of their meaningless lives defending these very entities against the very general public that has quite astutely noticed their shortcomings in the areas of "Science Fiction" and "Battlestar Galactica."
I think it can be safely concluded that this eccentric corporation consisting of the individual components (Universal Studios, NBC-TV, and SyFy Channel) is run by a truly deranged group of people who probably refer to themselves collectively (and privately) as......"The Family." You know, right? Just like one of those back woods families where inbreeding takes place?
Posted by Languatron at 4:36 PM
Every Scriptwriter In The Business Should Strive For.....Aaron Douglass (Chief Tyrol) Approving Their Scripts
Don't you just love this new found "clout" the former cast members of Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" series keep bestowing upon themselves? No one asked Edward James Olmos to regard himself as the second coming of Marlon Brando.....yet he did. No one asked all of the former cast members of "GINO" to regard their visit to the United Nations as anything more than yet another desperate and cheap ass publicity stunt on the part of SyFy Channel who used this stunt to try and consoles themselves in the midst of the overwhelming fact that they had a "flop" television series on their hands....yet they did regard it as more....as if they were collectively the coming of the second Messiah for all mankind. No one asked Katee Sackhoff to suddenly become a self appointed worldly philosopher with such nuggets of pure gold as...."If someone thinks I'm a shitty actress, and someone else simultaneously thinks I'm a great actress....they're both right." And finally....No one asked Aaron Douglass to suddenly become a self appointed approver of scripts as if because he used to be in Ronald D. Moore's "GINO"....some abstract clout associated with that former "flop" television series granted him the "gravitas" to do so.
I think it's time for all of the former "GINO" cast members to come down from their "Holy High Horses" bred for them by SyFy Channel and "Abraham & Harrison"....and begin facing reality head on in the face. They were cast members of an unsuccessful television series on a backwoods little cable channel run by corporate idiots who don't know the first things about televised Science Fiction....and making money. Now, if any of the "GINO" cast members eventually reach the career heights of co-starring with Meryl Streep, Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, or Johnny Depp....maybe then they will begin to have legitimate clout bestowed upon them by OTHER PEOPLE....instead of the wishful thinking of bestowing it upon themselves. As it stands now...."The Hollywood Walk of Fame" is decades away for all of these former "GINO" cast members.
Posted by Languatron at 1:29 PM
Ronald D. Moore is getting ready to rip-off the "Harry Potter" movies by throwing police officers into the mix and endowing them with magic. In all honesty, how far can you possibly take a highly derivative and boring concept like this?
(Chief of Police Potter, Detective Zahn, and Detective Jase are standing over a mutilated body)
Potter: "What do you think, Detective Zahn?"
Detective Zahn: "It's a mutilated body."
Potter: "What do you think, Detective Jase?"
Detective Jase: "It's a mutilated body."
Potter: "Any theories?"
Detective Zahn: "There's only one way to solve this crime."
(Zahn and Jase join their rings together)
Zahn / Jase: "Wonder Twin powers.....Activate!!"
Detective Zahn: "Shape of.....a crystal ball!!"
Detective Jase: "Shape of....a Lear Jet!!"
(Chief of Police Potter takes the crystal ball and boards the Lear Jet. It flies to the bad guy's hang out. Chief of Police Potter confronts the bad guy face to face.)
Chief of Police Potter: "So!! You committed the crime!!"
Bad Guy: "Yes."
(The first episode of Ronald D. Moore's "C.S.I. - Harry Potter" concludes.)
Is that more or less what every episode of this nonsense of Ronald D. Moore's will involve?
Let's look back at Ronald D. Moore's stab at "Battlestar Galactica." How far did he take that?
(Scenes of spaceships floating in deep space)
Cut to....Edward James Olmos frowning....
Cut to....Mary McDonnell frowning......
Cut to....More spaceships in deep space....
Cut to....rapes, violence, religion, politics...
Cut to...more frowning.....Especially Edward James Olmos frowning
Cut to....More spaceships in deep space....
Yes, I have alot of confidence in Ronald D. Moore....in anything he gets his hands on....
Posted by Languatron at 9:13 AM
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Entertainment Weekly Magazine
April 2, 2011 Issue
quote - "While director Bryan Singer won't begin principal photography on "Jack the Giant Killer"-his take on the "Jack and the Beanstalk" fairy tale - until March 28th, he's already shooting motion capture of the giants, "Avatar" style, with actors Bill Nighy and Stanley Tucci. "I had not yet made a film with fully rendered CG characters, [using] performance and motion capture and 3-D", he tells EW. "I was excited to do that." The 2012 film stars Nicholas Hoult as a farm boy who scales a huge beanstalk to rescue a princess (Eleanor Tomlinson) from giants. Ian McShane plays her father, the king. Hoult came to Singer's attention while playing Beast in June's "X-Men: First Class", which Singer is producing with Matthew Vaughn (Kick Ass) directing. Vaughn landed the gig after a chance meeting with Singer at the chic L.A. club Soho House last spring. "I gave him the broad strokes," says Singer. "He texted me the next morning, and I went over to his hotel and gave him the sober pitch." - Adam B. Vary - unquote
Does it surprise anyone that under Bryan Singer's heading at http://www.imdb.com, that out of the three simultaneous projects originally listed together as being in production ("Jack the Giant Killer", "X-Men: First Class", and "Battlestar Galactica")...."Battlestar Galactica" is the one project that has fallen by the wayside? At least fallen off of Bryan Singer's radar once again? Come on people!! This is a 33 year old Vaudeville routine of Universal Studios as old as the old guard at Universal Studios itself.
Of course, in the case of Bryan Singer, I take it as a blessing in disguise that he may no longer have a directing assignment for any "Battlestar Galactica" film....especially when he recently admitted how he fucked up "Superman Returns."
Bryan Singer: "I was going after the "Devil Wears Pravda" crowd when I made 'Superman Returns.' I was going after the middle aged women who flocked to that movie."
Really? What crowd would Bryan Singer have gone after if he had directed a "Battlestar Galactica" movie? The "Driving Miss Daisy" crowd? I think Bryan Singer should stay away from the entire universe of Colonial Warriors, Cylon Centurions, Battlestars, Vipers, and Raiders....for the rest of his life.
Posted by Languatron at 3:53 PM
"Blood & Chrome" May Be SyFy Channel's Admission That They Screwed Up With "GINO" And "Caprica", But It's An Admission That Doesn't Go Far Enough
Infamous urban legend is floating around the Internet that the reason why SyFy Channel green lit "Blood & Chrome" for production is that they were ultimately unhappy with the endless story arcs spilling all over the place into subsequent episodes of "GINO" and "Caprica", and they were also unhappy with the primarily religious and soap opera nonsense dominating both series. So, SyFy Channel wants to take this highly unoriginal and highly derivative universe of Ronald D. Moore's....and clean it up & make it self contained, action / adventure episodes where each episode can stand on its own without the viewer needing to watch any prior episodes. This is their goal for "Blood & Chrome." I smell a series coming out of this back door pilot titled "Blood & Chrome"....and I also smell SyFy Channel's desire to eventually sell "Blood & Chrome" into syndication....where they couldn't sell "GINO" and "Caprica" due to their "endless story arcs" and religious / soap opera nonsense.
The problem here is....is that the SyFy Channel's unspoken admissions of failure with both "GINO" and "Caprica" do not go far enough. The problems with "GINO" and "Caprica" weren't merely endless story arcs, and the botched merging of religion and soap operas. The problems involve Ronald D. Moore's overall botched conception of this highly derivative and highly unoriginal universe in the first place....where both "GINO" and "Caprica" resided. This universe of Ronald D. Moore's has already been long since proven as not being a mass market, commercial success. The market simply did not take to Ronald D. Moore, and his poor man's "Karaoke Rendition" of Battlestar Galactica. You can do whatever you want to this boring universe of Ronald D. Moore's. You can "story arc" the hell out of it.....you can bring "God" into it....you can turn it into an another episode of "All My Children"....you can turn it into self contained, action / adventure episodes as the new "Blood & Chrome" will be....you can freeze dry it, thaw it out....even serve it under glass. The fact is...with "Blood & Chrome".....SyFy Channel is taking this commercially failing venture of Ronald D. Moore's....and putting yet another spin on it....which won't work. Because no matter how many different ways you "shake" it.....it's always going to be a commercially failing venture.
SyFy Channel's indications that they refuse to give up on this "flop" of Ronald D. Moore's points to a cable channel in more serious trouble than anyone initially thought. When was the last time you saw a project....any project....coming out of the SyFy Channel that either wasn't more of Ronald D. Moore's usual crap....or wasn't another stupid ass monster movie? SyFy Channel has been its own "Grim Reaper"....locking themselves into both money losing ventures to such a degree...that financial doom is the inevitable outcome. Perhaps SyFy Channel believes that endlessly regurgitating Ronald D. Moore's boring universe will eventually yield an ROI to them for all of the dollars they spent on stealth marketing the hell out of "GINO" and "Caprica." In other words....an ROI for all of the dollars they paid to "Abraham & Harrison" for attacking the general public on Internet bulletin boards. Because lord knows, would be advertising revenue (from any source) sure as hell didn't reimburse them in any way.
Posted by Languatron at 9:17 AM
Monday, March 28, 2011
Imagine if you will, the very real scenario that new corporate parent "Comcast" will eventually have to face when they eventually get around to evaluating all of their new subsidiaries....particularly....SyFy Channel. You see, under the old corporate parent (NBC-Universal)....SyFy Channel (and when it was still called Sci-Fi Channel) was given free reign to hire and retain (regardless of job performance) any corporate idiot and corporate pinhead who happened to end up there (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, Mark Stern.) It's been quite a "Sideshow Spectacle" to say the least observing all of the nonsense that has been going on at the SyFy Channel (Sci-Fi) during the past eight years...and not seeing heads roll because of it. Of course, I'm not just talking about all of SyFy Channel's money losing frontiers with Ronald D. Moore involving the "Battlestar Galactica" property.....I'm also talking about such bowel waste as the weekly monster movies broadcast on the SyFy Channel made by the most skid-row....talent depraved.....individuals in front of and behind the camera. And let's not forget the amateurish CGI in these movies exhibiting all of the talent of film school drop outs experimenting with the medium for the first time in the early 1990s.
SyFy Channel has boasted that they get a weekly audience of 2 million people for these stupid ass monster movies of theirs. That's it? There is no desire whatsover at the SyFy Channel to aspire even higher? Why not strive for 5 million viewers? Or 8 million? You see....that's just one of the many problems with the SyFy Channel. Its contentment with its own mediocrity and the mundane in its own job performance. Its contentment with not rocking the boat even when rocking the boat would actually do them a world of good both professionally and financially.
I think one of the first questions that new corporate parent Comcast should ask of SyFy Channel when they eventually getting around to doing so....is....."Why are you only getting 2 million viewers every week for these monster movies of yours?" There is going to have to be a radical revolution within the SyFy Channel as mandated by Comcast. One of those mandates being....Comcast would quite naturally expect more than 2 million viewers a week for originally produced movies by the SyFy Channel. In order to begin doing that, Comcast would quite naturally have to order SyFy Channel to begin going after legitimate Science Fiction audiences (the cerebral college grads) and not the A-Typical audience of Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern:
"Trailer Park Trash" with G.E.D. Diplomas who eat "Fruit Loops" breakfast cereal for lunch & dinner, and who wear purple colored suits to church every Sunday with flip-flops on their feet." Think "Cousin Eddie" (Randy Quaid) from the "National Lampoon" movies...and "Cousin Eddie's" family.
You know, right? The same sort of miniscule audience Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern managed to attract for all of Ronald D. Moore's "Galactica" named television series despite all of their laborious stealth marketing.
Perhaps one of the first things that Comcast will have to do....is gut the present personnel at SyFy Channel associated with these embarrassing monster movies, and bring in higher brow...more intellectually based personnel. Personnel that would think more along the lines of....doing a serious sequel movie to Gene Roddenberry's "Questor Tapes"....and implementing the very concepts that Gene Roddenberry wanted to do in a weekly series....but was turned down by NBC-TV in 1974. Perhaps even going so far as bringing back Mike Farrell and Robert Foxworth....and exploring their characters 37 years later. That would just be one example as to how viewership would seriously begin to rise on the SyFy Channel (way above 2 million viewers every week)...that's for damn sure. And change the damn name back to...."Sci-Fi Channel."
Of course...for those first step(s) to happen....Comcast would need to issue pink slips to Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern.
Posted by Languatron at 9:48 AM
Sunday, March 27, 2011
After Almost a Decade, The Old Guard At NBC-Universal is Still Trying to Probe and Mine Ronald D. Moore For Talent He Simply Does Not Have
Either you have talent or you don't. This is what we know about Ronald D. Moore:
1. He doesn't have any talent in producing and writing televised Science Fiction.
2. He doesn't have any talent in trying to navigate his way through the Battlestar Galactica property.
3. The success "Star Trek-The Next Generation" enjoyed had absolutely nothing to do with him.
4. He is without any inspired or original ideas of his own.
5. "Blood & Chrome" will flop just as "GINO" and "Caprica" did.
6. "C.S.I. - Harry Potter" will flop just as "Virtuosity" and "G vs. E" did.
Yet....after a resume like that....the old guard at NBC-Universal refuses to give up on this guy. Yes, the relationship between Ronald D. Moore and NBC-Universal has been thoroughly political...but NBC-Universal keeps hoping that there will be some eventual fringe benefits connected to their thoroughly political relationship with Ronald D. Moore...such as Moore eventually displaying talent....and inspired, original thinking in what he does. (NBC-Universal would never phrase it that way.....but the gist of it is....NBC-Universal won't give up on Moore until he starts making them money...even after his new home base is now Sony.) I suspect that even at this late date, the old guard at NBC-Universal still futily believes that there is a "smash hit television series" somewhere inside of Ronald D. Moore just waiting to bust out. So, they most recently have mined him for "Blood & Chrome" and "C.S.I. - Harry Potter"...and have crossed their corporate fingers.
Of course, the more rational route for the old guard at NBC-Universal to have gone, would have been to seek out those in the Science Fiction television profession who could have delivered a "smash hit Science Fiction television series" to them in a fraction of the time (not a fuckin' decade and still waiting.) NBC-Universal could have sought out Brannon Braga, Kenneth Johnson, Joss Whedon, or Chris Carter.
I think alot of it has to do with the fact that the old guard at NBC-Universal (aside from personally loving Ronald D. Moore to pieces) refuses to admit the fact that they were wrong in the first place for having hooked up with Ronald D. Moore, and expecting him to deliver to them a revamped....smash hit....."Battlestar Galactica" series. These corporate fuckers will never admit.....that they made a mistake.
Ronald D. Moore hasn't delivered a smash hit television series to them in close to a decade because Ronald D. Moore simply lacks the talent to do so. And the old guard at NBC-Universal won't give up on him partially because they refuse to admit....that they were wrong.
Ronald D. Moore's vocation resides elsewhere....such as sitcom scriptwriter, or reality show scriptwriter. In almost a decade, there has been no evidence whatsoever that Ronald D. Moore is the "Science Fiction Genius" that the old guard at NBC-Universal still wants him to be unanimously regarded as. Even that little shit who is a left over fragment of NBC-Universal's "GINO Stealth Marketing Campaign" (Darth Marley) is regarding the (ho-hum) upcoming "C.S.I. - Harry Potter" as...."The new greatest show ever from Ronald D. Moore." Corporate level self denial is amusing to behold, isn't it? Especially when it's a decade old.
Posted by Languatron at 9:00 AM
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Over Two Years After The February 2009 Announcement, Universal Studios Continues To Prove That Its Corporate Idiocy With Battlestar Galactica Knows No Bounds
If Universal Studios ever had a brain within its corporate skull, they would have known that the only way to make real money with the "Battlestar Galactica" copyright is to embrace the only true Galactica series having aired in 1978, and stay as far away from Ronald D. Moore as one possibly can. Since this is Universal Studios we're talking about here, we can always rest in the knowledge that their "Bizzarro / Opposite Universe" corporate thinking with "Battlestar Galactica" will always be straight out of the "Twilight Zone." The hallmark of Universal Studios corporate thinking always being....."Always run in the opposite direction as to where the real money is at with 'Battlestar Galactica' (the 1978 series as created by Leslie Stevens)....and run to the money losing arms of Ronald D. Moore again and again."
As far back as summer 2010, (those of us who have always kept a casual eye on the endless eccentricities of Universal Studios and how they have always behaved towards the "Battlestar Galactica" property....out of morbid....'train wreck-esque' curiosity)...knew that there was something very wrong (as there always is) with Universal Studios and their supposed upcoming "Galactica" film based upon the 1978 series....when they couldn't even produce a pre-production sketch on a cocktail napkin of this supposed film at a time when this supposed "Galactica" film should have been as far along (progress wise) as the "Captain America" and "Green Lantern" movies due out in summer 2011. Last summer, we already had photos of cast members in costume for both "Captain America" and "Green Lantern." Last summer....Universal Studios couldn't produce "jack shit" for a Galactica movie due out 12 months later. So, (as usual....as always....as is always the case with Universal Studios)....it's a year later....and no "Galactica" movie is to be found.
Universal Studios has been so deranged, psychotic, and so off kilter about the "Battlestar Galactica" property for so long....that their bad habits regarding the property have become so ingrained within their undiagnosed corporate psyche (suffering from God knows what)....that routinely spreading Internet rumors about movies based upon the 1978 series has become second nature to them....SyFy Channel....and their stealth marketing thugs at "Abraham & Harrison." It doesn't seem to matter to Universal Studios that spreading rumors of this nature is bad for business (for them)....bad for their overall reputation.....and makes them appear as incompetent imbeciles unable to follow through with the rather simple and hardly challenging task of merely making a movie based upon the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. A task film school grads could easily complete in 18 months. A task Universal Studios hasn't even been able to start in 33 years.
One thing Universal Studios will never be accused of....is professionalism with the "Battlestar Galactica" property. If "professionalism" is the bright center of the universe, then Universal Studios (quite obviously) has been at the point farthest from....for the past 33 years. It will be up to the studious historians to uncover what went wrong this time....and how Universal Studios fucked up this time in being routinely unable to metamorph an Internet rumor (they more than likely started) into a concrete "Galactica" movie for summer 2011. It will also be up to the studious historians to uncover the specifics of the money losing (and inexplicably on going) relationship between Ronald D. Moore and Universal Studios / SyFy Channel.
Posted by Languatron at 12:46 PM
Friday, March 25, 2011
(The door bell rings. Ronald D. Moore's dad gets up from the dining room table and answers it.)
Ron's Dad: "Son? The Frog brothers are here."
(Edgar and Allen Frog are at the front door dressed in UPS delivery driver uniforms.)
Ronald D. Moore: (He sizes both of them up in their uniforms.) "Nice cover. You couldn't have come over other than Easter Sunday?"
Edgar: "Look. We can go right back and remove the 300 business suits we just delivered to the "Ronald D. Moore Warehouse of Low Budget Wardrobe Clothing."
Ronald D. Moore: "Alright, alright. Do you have the invoice?"
Allen: "Right here. And sign here on the little window."
Edgar: "Nice doing business with you Mr. Moore."
Ronald D. Moore: "Wait a minute. That's it? No further instructions?"
Edgar: "Look, the rest is your problem. We fulfilled our end of the bargain. Deliver an additional 300 business suits to your warehouse with garlic sewn into each suit."
Ronald D. Moore: "And that will protect me....my cast and crew....and SyFy Channel from additional criticisms from Languatron and the rest of the world?"
Edgar: "If they're creatures of the night......yes."
Ronald D. Moore: "If not?"
Edgar: "Prepare.....to be fanning out resumes long before 'Blood & Chrome' and your Harry Potter shit on NBC even airs."
Ronald D. Moore: "Now wait a minute!!"
Edgar: "Look buddy. Be thankful we even took the job. We solely deal with vampires. Quite frankly, I think your shit stinks....all of it. You should have a stake driven through your heart for what you did to 'Galactica', as well as your drab fixation on boring business suits." As for your other shit? "Harry Potter and cops?" Christ, Moore. Develop an imagination for God's sake....I've said enough, we're outta' here."
Ronald D. Moore: "You'll be back!! Who will finance your next Frog movie? Warner Brothers? The next time both of you need jobs....I'll make both of you cops at a vampire precinct!! Do you fuckin' hear me you little shits?? And I'll bring back Edward Hermann and Dianne Weist so they can both fang your little asses!! And maybe Jamie Gertz too!!"
Ron's Dad: "Are you alright son?"
Ronald D. Moore: "I'm fine da da."
(Ronald D. Moore sits back down at the dining room table, and the Moore family all dressed in three piece business suits...resume their Easter dinner. They all raise their glasses for a toast...."Too dress shirts, dress slacks, neck ties, and sport coats....Cheers!!")
Posted by Languatron at 10:08 AM
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Ronald D. Moore comes home to his family for an Easter family reunion....
Ronald D. Moore: (Walks in the front door) "Mom? I'm home."
Ron's Mom: (Wearing a three piece business suit with neck tie) "Oh dear oh dear Ronny!! Did you wash behind your ears and shampoo your grey hair?"
Ronald D. Moore: "You know I did, mom. Where's da da?"
Ron's Mom: "Your father is out back chopping wood. He thought he would break in his new three piece business suit."
Ronald D. Moore: "Sounds like a plan to me."
(Ronald D. Moore's nieces and nephews all run up to him. They're all wearing three piece business suits.)
Nieces / Nephews: "Hello Uncle Ronny. Did you bring us more three piece business suits?"
Ronald D. Moore: "Better than that. I'm giving each and every one of you computer chip swipe cards to the front door of my 'Ronald D. Moore Warehouse of Low Budget Wardrobe Clothing.' You can now go in there any time you want to and....accessorize."
Nieces / Nephews: "Yay!! Yay!! Hip...Hip...Hooray!!"
Ronald D. Moore's dad walks in.....
Ron's Dad: "Hey you!! Get your low budget ass over here. You can't give your father a hug?"
Ronald D. Moore: "I'm sorry da da. I wasn't thinking."
Ron's Dad: "You know your daughter just had her baby. If you kept in touch more often you would know that. Let's go and see her."
(Ronald D. Moore's 6 month old grand daughter is sleeping in her crib. She's wearing a little three piece business suit.)
Ronald D. Moore: "I've been busy da da."
Ron's Dad: "Doing what? Showcasing the family wardrobe on those stupid ass tv shows you keep making for the SyFy Channel?"
Ronald D. Moore's mom walks in holding a big pan with a cooked turkey.....
Ron's Mom: "Alright everyone. Dinner is ready. I hope the mashed potatoes and fish sticks are done as well."
(The Moore family sits down for Easter dinner)
Ron's Dad: "Son? Willl you do the honors?"
Ronald D. Moore: "Alright da da."
(The cooked turkey sitting in the pan is wearing a dress shirt, neck tie, and a little sport coat. Ronald D. Moore unbuttons the sport coat, loosens the neck tie, and unbuttons the dress shirt. He then begins carving the turkey.)
(Ronald D. Moore's daughter walks in.)
Ron's Mom: "And where were you?"
Ron's Daughter: "At the beach. It was unseasonably warm today."
Ron's Mom: "Did you get sand in your dress slacks and neck tie?"
Ron's Daughter: "I'm not in the mood, Grandma. I'm not going to dignify that remark with a response."
(Stay tuned tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of Easter Sunday with the Moore family. Same dress slacks time....same dress slacks channel.)
Posted by Languatron at 9:25 AM
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
1. Glen A. Larson tried to merge the "Tron" movie with cops ("Automan") and it flopped.
2. Glen A. Larson tried to merge the "Howling" movie with cops ("Manimal") and it flopped.
3. Glen A. Larson tried to merge the "Road Warrior" movie with cops ("The Highwayman") and it flopped.
And now...Ronald D. Moore wants to merge the "Harry Potter" movies with cops ("17th Precinct"). It too will flop.
Cops and science fiction don't mix. If Ronald D. Moore's knowledge of televised science fiction history extended beyond ripping off ideas from old science fiction television series, he would know this.
The only reason why "Alien Nation - The Series" successfully merged the two is because Kenneth Johnson was at the helm of it.
Posted by Languatron at 11:51 AM
Pictures have begun rolling in from Ronald D. Moore's new flop for NBC-TV....."17th Precinct." And gosh....golly...gee willakers!! What are the cast members of "17th Precinct" wearing? None other than the same shirts, ties, and business suits Ronald D. Moore made infamous in his "GINO" and "Caprica" series!! Keep in mind....that Ronald D. Moore's "17th Precinct" is supposed to be taking place in some alternate dimension of reality where the fantastic realm of magic is supposed to help cops solve crimes!! Ronald D. Moore has already diluted that potentially....moderately underwhelming premise even further by merely shipping his "Sears" and "Carson Pirie Scott" everyday wardrobe from "GINO" and "Caprica" over to "17th Precinct." Yes Sir!! That infamous wardrobe stored in the "Ronald D. Moore Warehouse of Low Budget Wardrobe / Articles of Clothing" (originally purchased from "Sears" and "Carson Pirie Scott" ) is gearing up for its infamous return to television for yet another unsuccessful Ronald D. Moore series.
One would think that in some alternate reality where magic is used routinely to solve crimes, those who possess such magic would use that very magic to attire themselves in a wardrobe more "snazzy" and "colorful." Colorful robes with hoods.....sparkling sport coats with sapphires......ruby slippers.....kaleidescope patterned pull over sweaters in bright sunny colors. Heck no!! Not in any series done by Ronald D. Moore. Just in terms of the wardrobe that Ronald D. Moore keeps rolling over from one unsuccessful television series to the next....Ronald D. Moore is without a doubt the most boring and dull unsuccessful television producer on the face of the earth. (This in addition to his infamous and unprecedented lack of imagination in everything he does.) It doesn't matter what the premises of his television series are...and whether his television series (supposedly) take place in some far off galaxy, or in some alternate realm where magic rules......Everyone is dressed in drab business suits.
Just as the original members of the "Not Ready For Prime Time Players" of "Saturday Night Live" (Dan Aykroyd,, Bill Murray, John Belushi) were this close knit bunch of truly eccentric personalities.....Ronald D. Moore and his little group of eccentric oddities (actors & behind the scenes personnel) who continue to make these weird ass and unsuccessful television series for NBC-TV and SyFy Channel are this "eccentric little group" of "Rob Zombie" back woods types....with their business suit wardrobes, and less than stellar producing and scriptwriting skills.....and ever revolving Z-Grade cast members (Jamie Bamber, Tricia Helfer) who are as interchangeable in an episode of "GINO" and "Caprica" as they will be in "17th Precinct" and more than likely...."Blood & Chrome."
Ronald D. Moore never makes any attempt to try and improve himself in how he goes about producing and writing a television series. And NBC-TV and SyFy Channel will certainly never entertain the notion of instructing Ronald D. Moore to modify his approach in tackling a would be Science Fiction / Fantasy television series because NBC and SyFy are as brain dead as he is in these matters. It never occurs to either one of them that...."Gee, maybe we should have a different type of wardrobe this time around"....or....."Gee, maybe we should hire some fresh actors this time around"......or....."Gee, maybe instead of being so deadly serious this time....maybe '17th Precinct' should be alot lighter in tone." Ronald D. Moore and NBC-TV / SyFy Channel are laboratory examples of arrested wisdom in their line of thinking. Maybe if they were more flexible in their line of thinking....they might actually start making money together.
Posted by Languatron at 8:30 AM
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Yes, the following individuals are in the same "In Limbo / Not Really Ever Known" category as Ronald D. Moore....You knew they were around here & there...But they never achieved superstardom....Not by a long shot.
1) Skip Stephenson
2) Chuck Barris
3) Chuck Woolery
4) Brian Levant
5) Ivan Goff
6) Ben Roberts
7) Sarah Purcell
8) Charles Nelson Reilly
9) Fanny Flagg
10) Dan Curtis
11) Jimmy Osmond
12) Tony DeFranco & The DeFranco Family
13) Sandy Duncan
14) Tony Dow
15) Jim Nabors
16) Lyle Waggoner
18) Ruth Buzzi
19) Tiny Tim
20) The Hee Haw Honeys
21) Gopher, Julie, and Doc from the Love Boat
22) Chief O'Hara from the old Batman tv show
This is that special category of "Brethren" that Ronald D. Moore belongs to, where no matter how long these people stay in the movie / tv business, they're instantly forgotten once they retire.
Posted by Languatron at 1:33 PM
Brian Levant is a nice guy I suppose. He comes across that way in the behind the scenes documentaries he always appears in....in the movies he has directed. I have nothing against the guy. Although he has either been producing and directing for a good 20 years, no one knows who he is because he never achieved that "Steven Spielbergian" level of superstardom. However, he has directed some movies here or there that many people enjoy on a rainy day. "The Flinstones", "The Flintstones - Viva Rock Vegas!!", "Scooby Doo, The Mystery Begins", and "Scooby Doo, Curse of the Lake Monster." Not William Shakespeare by any means but still fun stuff. I guess you would call Brian Levant "working class" because he isn't a superstar globally known, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Ronald D. Moore on the other hand, is in the same category as Brian Levant. However, Brian Levant is leaps and bounds above Ronald D. Moore in the class department because Levant has never pretended to be what he isn't, and he has never come across as an asshole while attempting to do so as Ronald D. Moore has. Ronald D. Moore will be the first to reiterate the more notorious catch phrases conjured up for him by the SyFy Channel stealth marketing department (the attack squad against the general public.) Moore will be the first to call himself a "genius"...."imaginative"......"ground breaker"......."revolutonary"......"television's Messiah.....etc. etc....and all of that other bullshit SyFy Channel came up with.
The fact is....Ronald D. Moore is in the same boat as Brian Levant. And Ronald D. Moore is no greater than Brian Levant professionally speaking. Toiling away for decades and really never getting anywhere other than the starting point you have always been toiling at. Every new project Ronald D. Moore has been involved in either never came to frution ("Virtuosity"), or has been in the same intellectual category as a "Scooby Doo" or "Flintstones" movie. Of course I'm speaking of all of Ronald D. Moore's "Galactica" related nonsense for the SyFy Channel, or his upcoming "Harry Potter - Book em' Danno" schlock for NBC.
A good 20 years of being in this business has yielded for Ronald D. Moore....."eternal unknown-dom" on the order of Brian Levant and his career. Quite frankly, there is no higher category to place Ronald D. Moore in. And even SyFy Channel's mean spirited and relentless stealth marketing campaign on Ronald D. Moore's behalf has failed to propel Moore into Steven Spielberg or George Lucas territory.
This is in no way meant to slam Brian Levant, because I love his stuff. Silly and innocent. But it is meant to slam Ronald D. Moore. Maybe if SyFy Channel and Ronald D. Moore weren't so pompous, mean spirited, and delusional in trying to stealth market an artificial career for Ronald D. Moore, the most I would be saying about Ronald D. Moore right now is that....."Well, he's just another Brian Levant"......or....."Ronald D. Moore gave 'Galactica' a shot but just couldn't hack it." It's pretty much because of the mean spirited egos (and unrealistic preconceived career expectations) of Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel that this blog exists.
Do you think that....maybe by now....SyFy Channel would have entertained the notion that "there are other people out there who could take a stab at Battlestar Galactica?" Especially when you consider that everything Galactica related for the SyFy Channel Ronald D. Moore has done...has been a financial disaster (a flop?) Perhaps Kenneth Johnson? J. Michael Straczynski? Joss Whedon? Hell no!! "Ronald D. Moore is SyFy Channel's 'love child' and they're sticking with him through thick & thin!!"
Posted by Languatron at 9:32 AM
Saturday, March 19, 2011
I Think I have It figured Out Now....Episodes of "GINO" and "Caprica" Were Only Designed For One Viewing
I've been racking my brain lately trying to figure out why you never see episodes of "GINO" and "Caprica" ever again after their original broadcasts on the SyFy Channel (aside from their unprecedented low ratings.) I mean...these episodes can't be sold in syndication because no syndication buyers will purchase them, and it's very rarely when DVD releases of these two series even occupy shelf space in Wal-Mart or Target.
These two series were only designed for one viewing during their original broadcasts on the SyFy Channel!! After that...the "GINO" and "Caprica" episodes return to their tomb known as the "SyFy Channel Film Vaults." Of course, those original broadcasts served the purpose of satisfying the multitude of "political agendas" Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel had together.....and apart. Once those "political agendas" were satisfied by "GINO" and "Caprica" during the original broadcasts, the two series then became about as valuable to anyone as "Charlie Brown's Trick-or-Treat" bag (filled with rocks) on Halloween. No one wants these series episodes again after their original broadcasts. So...Universal Studios and SyFy Channel wrap both series in mummified bandages...and ship them off to the "SyFy Channel Film Vaults." There is no place in this world for the "GINO" and "Caprica" reruns after the political purposes of Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel are served by them. The two series have no place in this world (and neither will "Blood & Chrome") because Ronald D. Moore's series on the SyFy Channel are not designed for the entertainment value of repeated viewings.
Single Broadcast + Political Agendas = Mission Accomplished for "GINO" / "Caprica" first run episodes.
Posted by Languatron at 4:52 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The extremely successful "Star Trek - The Next Generation" television series didn't reach theatrical status overnight. It was done in a series of simultaneous steps. It was extremely well produced, well written, well cast, and the art direction / production design was imaginative and top notch. This led to the mass market television audience embracing it wholeheartedly. This led to seven (genuinely) high rated seasons which led to the "Next Generation" theatrical films ("Generations", "First Contact", "Insurrection", and "Nemesis.") This in addition to "Next Generation", "Deep Space Nine", "Voyager", and "Enterprise" being on the air at the same time more or less. Paramount Pictures had a kick ass television franchise going on at the same time as its kick ass theatrical franchise.
This brings us to Ronald D. Moore and the SyFy Channel. Where is their "GINO" and "Caprica" theatrical franchise? Oooops!! That's right!! "GINO" and "Caprica" would have had to have been well produced, well written, well cast, and well thought out in its art direction / production design before a mass market television audience could embrace it wholeheartedly. This of course....didn't happen...which led to both "GINO" and "Caprica" suffering from chronic low ratings. This of course....didn't lead to "GINO" and "Caprica" having a series of theatrical films. Hell.....even "Firefly" got a theatrical film, and a second one is on the way.
What's the difference between Paramount Pictures Corp. and Universal Studios / SyFy Channel? Well, Paramount Pictures hires talent, and Universal Studios / SyFy Channel doesn't. Paramount Pictures went for "A-list...top dollar talent" (Rick Berman, Brannon Braga) in the construction of their "Star Trek" franchise for movies and television whereas Universal Studios / SyFy Channel went for bargain basement turd droppings (Ronald D. Moore, David Eick) in the simultaneous construction / destruction of their would be "Battlestar Galactica" franchise.
The thing about Ronald D. Moore and David Eick is that no matter how many television series they produce for you using the "Battlestar Galactica" brand name and copyright, you're still not going to have a money making franchise on your hands. And indeed, this sad fact will remain firmly in place when "Blood & Chrome" too.....comes and goes due to low ratings. Almost a decade after Moore and Eick have been cranking out their money losing "schlock" for the SyFy Channel.....there is still not a theatrical film or franchise to be found based on "GINO" or "Caprica." That's because SyFy Channel, Ronald D. Moore, and David Eick fucked up in the first place in their handling of the "Battlestar Galactica" property. If you don't have a large television audience for your schlock on the boob tube, you sure as hell are not going to have a large audience for your schlock in the theaters.
Without a doubt, SyFy Channel, Ronald D. Moore, and David Eick are the first idiots in history who toiled away at something for close to a decade, and got nothing remotely resembling a respectable financial return. This is because they kept toiling away at a losing formula that repeatedly failed, and they were too stubborn to go back and reboot their ways of doing business more to the liking of the mass market television audience.
Posted by Languatron at 11:30 AM
Monday, March 14, 2011
Why Hasn't Guerrilla Style Stealth Marketing Delivered Love, Fame, and Fortune to Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel?
It's a funny thing trying to force people to love you regardless of the inferior products you keep delivering to them over the airwaves. It usually backfires. SyFy Channel and Ronald D. Moore are no strangers to this sad phenomenon. They spent close to a decade using guerrilla style stealth marketing techniques trying to force the public to love them and their crappy ass television series. During the infamous "hey days" of the mid to late 2000s, Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel tried to strong arm, coerce, blackmail, deceive, and bribe the general public into loving them and their God awful television series ("GINO" and "Caprica") all for the sake of erroneously trying to secure for themselves....."pipe dream" spectacular careers in Science Fiction television programming.
The guerrilla style stealth marketing didn't work for Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel (even with the assistance of the stealth marketing firm "Abraham & Harrison") because Ronald D. Moore is not a lovable guy and neither is the SyFy Channel a lovable cable channel. And the mean spirited television series they crapped all over the airwaves ("GINO", "Caprica")...certainly were not lovable either. It doesn't say much about Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel that they even entertained the notion of using guerrilla style stealth marketing to try and strong arm the general public into loving them and their crappy ass television series.
In the case of Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel, stealth marketing and all of its underhanded manifestations has been a cop out for them. It has relieved them of the professional responsibilities inherent in the careers they have been underqualified for during the past decade. Namely, that a professional cable network and a professional producer and scriptwriter is supposed to strive to provide enjoyable and mass market accepted television programming to the general public. If Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel were the professional entities they were supposed to be (in the careers they have inexplicably inhabited during the past decade), they would have learned from the mistakes they made while producing "GINO" and "Caprica", and abandoned the money losing formula in both series. Moore and SyFy Channel have done the exact opposite. They have rabidly clung to the money losing embarrassment that is both series, and are applying the same money losing formula to the upcoming "Blood & Chrome." Not only that, they have tried to force the general public to love them and both of their D.O.A. series instead of facing up to their own shortcomings and endless faults in having produced both series, and trying to do better the next time around.
SyFy Channel and Ronald D. Moore will never be loved, famous, and wealthy because even guerrilla style stealth marketing cannot endow them with that which they do not possess. Genuine talent, imagination, and inspired thinking in the creation of a Science Fiction television series. SyFy Channel and Ronald D. Moore are the equivelent of the 19th Century traveling road show trying to sell off medicine man products and other bogus home cures laced with alcohol.
Posted by Languatron at 12:37 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Article written by: Eric - TV Geek Army "Revered Leader"
"Battlestar Galactica is not a great show.
There, I said it.
I’d even go so far as to say that it’s a stretch to call it a good show – though it is at times, in moments and patches (particularly early on). That said, overall it’s a hot mess, an unwieldy and overambitious sci fi soap opera obsessed with sex and religion and mythology that largely proved unable to convey anything truly interesting about any of those topics.
Perhaps it “hurt” my viewing experience that I watched much of the series in a compressed timeframe and not over the several years in which it was originally broadcast on SyFy. I had heard lots of good things from many people, of course, during the original run and as a TV geek (even before there was a TV Geek Army in which to codify my ramblings) I felt a bit ashamed about not having seen it, much like an English major who was deficient in Chaucer or Milton or some such.
I caught the first season somewhere along the way – via Netflix’ streaming service, I think – and thought it was quite good, and still do – but my attention had wandered off somewhere early in Season Two. Something about Helo and Sharon/Athena’s endless running around Caprica bored me enough that I dropped out. During the holidays this year though I vowed I would make it right. As a TV geek it was my duty, to the colonies and to the fleet, to watch the entire series end-to-end.
And so I did.
As I noted, the first season was by far the best, and in fact the pilot episode, “33” (which comes after the mini-series that acts as a first chapter of sorts to the series), is probably my favorite episode of all. The concept of the remains of humanity being on the run from vicious, untiring Cylons while an exhausted, beleaguered fleet is forced to stay on the run by making precise intergalactic “jumps” every 33 minutes is simply fascinating and thrilling.
Looking back, I wish that the series could have done a better job of keeping such a focus on tight and taut storytelling. That said, the first season was still rather good and had flashes of great potential that made me look forward to moving on. However, there were seeds embedded even from that early stage that would prevent the series as a whole from attaining anything close to greatness.
Examples include Gaius and Caprica 6’s endless religious and philosophical ramblings in the former’s mind. Don’t get me wrong: it worked in small and concise doses, and James Callis’ ability to playfully interact with “real people” and the sexy woman in his head at the same time could be a delight. I also mentioned Helo and Athena’s adventures on Caprica above. As soon as the audience knows that the human known as Boomer is actually a Cylon, the action – which plays out over multiple episodes – involving their attempted escape from the planet is largely diluted (yes, she eventually does change her mind to side with the humans, but that comes after far too much build up).
Really though the first two seasons were fine, and I’d have a much different attitude in total if Seasons Three and Four didn’t exist at all. In fact, I’d say the real (galactic?) fall off comes after there’s a time jump in the series stemming from new President Baltar’s demands that the colonists settle on so called New Caprica.
Almost everything that happens thereafter over the course of two long final seasons is far less interesting than the relatively minor quibbles I mentioned above. The mythological/religious/spiritual storyline becomes increasingly irritating and convoluted. Baltar’s transition from hated president to Cylon lackey to doomed prisoner to spiritual leader to… you get the idea. There are even a seemingly numbing series of episodes where the theme is drilled into our skulls relating the human toll of pushing on for one more day and one more mission (I kept thinking to myself, “we get it… seriously, we get it”).
Add on top of all of that increasingly protracted storylines dealing with the Cylons amongst themselves (every time the action moved to a Cylon base ship, I thought, “Ugh…”), dreams and visions about Hera and the opera house, Starbuck and creepy Cylon Leoben (Callum Keith Rennie) and her paintings, Zarek’s (Richard Hatch) uneven character arc (watch the whole series and you’ll see an erratic transition from “bad guy” to “good guy” to “really bad guy”), innumerable treasonous conspiracies/acts of sabotage, innumerable trials for treason, innumerable scenes of Colonel Tigh/Admiral Adama/Starbuck drinking themselves sick, innumerable things happening for no apparent reason (Tyrol beating Cally to a pulp, anyone?), innumerable plot holes/inconsistencies/wormholes (example: a Cylon is let out of prison on the Pegasus, who then murders Admiral Cain... and no one seems to care a whit), and on and on.
And don’t even get me started on how the series wraps. Angels? Really? I wasn’t touched, shall we say.
Therefore, I find myself a bit perplexed by the enduring love and admiration that Battlestar Galactica seemingly continues to receive. I did some hunting around online and found Alan Sepinwall’s (one of the sharpest television writers out there) series finale review to be largely positive. What’s interesting to me here is that I was reminded of how much Lost’s series finale relates to BSG’s in how they both look to heavily spiritual/dues ex machina/the gods had a plan all along (and I suppose we now know who the “they” are in AND THEY HAVE A PLAN) solutions. While Sepinwall was also largely sympathetic to how Lost resolved, I was bitterly disappointed after hanging with a series I had greatly admired and defended for six long seasons.
As I mentioned, there’s a lot of good individual things to pick out even during the turgid final run of episodes. The performances especially of Edward James Olmos as Admiral Adama, James Callis as Baltar, Katee Sackhoff as Starbuck, and Tricia Helfer as Number Six were invariably strong. Additionally, while the sets could often feel oppressive (which is the point of course on spaceships where the crews are cooped up for years), the action scenes and space battles were typically impressive, especially on a basic cable budget.
The purpose of this article certainly isn’t to trash a beloved television show that many serious TV fans continue to enjoy for its own sake. I was genuinely surprised with the problems I had with it, which only seemed to increase the deeper into the series I went. I started wondering if I was more of a “soft sci fi” kind of guy (Firefly and Wonderfalls are two of my favorite all time series, for example) and even went so far as to go through a series of neurotic self-examinations to determine why I wasn’t enjoying myself as much as I “should.”
Of course, not everyone has to enjoy all of the series that are broadly considered to be all time greats. No doubt there will be many who dislike The Shield or Breaking Bad, series that I would easily consider to be in that “all time great” category.
But for me, Battlestar Gallactica just didn’t cut it
So says (just?) I." - unquote
Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel have certainly needed more wake up calls than this over the years, haven't they?
Posted by Languatron at 12:00 PM
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The More Ronald D. Moore Hangs On For Dear Life as a Television Producer, The More His Lack of Clout Continues to Show
Have I or have I not been saying since this blog began....that Ronald D. Moore will forever shall be thoroughly dependent upon his "Rogues Gallery of B Actor No Talents" (from Canada) for all of his television productions? Have I or have I not been saying that because no legitimate actors or actresses would be caught dead in a Ronald D. Moore production because of his track record of unprecedented failure at the SyFy Channel....he would have to mine the same old pool of "B Actors" everytime he started a new television production?
Sure enough.....lo and behold.....preliminary casting news is coming out of Ronald D. Moore's inevitably doomed new pilot for NBC-TV (the only commercial broadcast network that will blindly hire him no matter how badly he fails previously because NBC-TV has a sibling ultra-failing cable network called SyFy Channel that has also inexplicably hired the chronically failing Ronald D. Moore) on occasion. Ronald D. Moore has a new series lined up for NBC-TV called "Something....Something.....13." Sure enough, all of the chronically unemployed "B-Actors" who appeared in Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" and "Caprica" series are lining up like salivating bar flies to appear in Ronald D. Moore's new NBC-TV series because they can't find employment (legitimate acting gigs) anywhere else....and Ronald D. Moore sure as hell can't find legitimate actors to appear in his new NBC-TV series.
So....the likes of Tricia Helfer, James Callis, Jamie Bamber, and Kristin Kruek will appear in Ronald D. Moore's new "Harry Potter Rip-Off Series" for NBC-TV because the lot of them are chronically unemployed in between every single low rated Ronald D. Moore series. And Ronald D. Moore wouldn't have a series to air if his "Rogues Gallery of Readily Available B-Actors" weren't around to answer his "B-Actor Casting Calls."
I have single handedly predicted every phase of Ronald D. Moore's mock career in this blog thus far. I knew that once Ronald D. Moore moved to Sony it wouldn't really be a move at all because NBC-TV and SyFy Channel would continue to be his only buyers. I successfully predicted that the only actors who would appear in any new Ronald D. Moore series would be only the actors he previously cast in "GINO" and "Caprica." I successfully predicted that no one else in the industry would hire him for any reason....and because of that he would not venture too far away from NBC-TV and SyFy Channel. I successfully predicted that Ronald D. Moore would be unemployed without NBC-TV and SyFy Channel. I successfully predicted that Ronald D. Moore's long term relationship with NBC-TV and SyFy Channel was not based upon legitimate talent or financial success but rather.....personal favors.
All of it.....Every last bit of it.....has come to pass.
Posted by Languatron at 12:57 AM
Friday, March 11, 2011
Is There Any Stone Left Unturned In Ronald D. Moore's Supremely Boring Take on Battlestar Galactica That We Haven't Seen Already?
There is nothing new in Ronald D. Moore's supremely boring (and sham) take on Battlestar Galactica that we haven't seen already. We've already seen it all in "GINO" and "Caprica." Dime store muck tends to be that way. The horizons of dime store muck are extremely limited, and its contents as well. Therefore, there is nothing new that SyFy Channel will be able to show us in "Blood & Chrome" that we haven't seen already in "GINO" and "Caprica."
1) Obvious location shooting in and around beautiful low budget Vancouver.
2) The endless wardrobe of bargain basement business suits, shirts, and neck ties from the "Ronald D. Moore Warehouse of Low Budget Wardrobe Tackiness."
3) Ronald D. Moore's dreaded (and ever revolving) pool of borderline passable actors he recruits to appear in his television series because he never can find actors of a better and higher quality. Yes, I'm speaking of Edward James Olmos, Mary McDonnell, Jamie Bamber, Katee Sackhoff, Lucy Lawless, Michelle Forbes, and Dean Stockwell.
4) The usual fracture in the overall premise of a Ronald D. Moore television series for the SyFy Channel we have come to expect. The incompatibility of futuristic outer space, spaceship sequences with people walking around in business suits during a bright sunny day in a suburban neighborhood. And this is an alien world so says Ronald D. Moore and the SyFy Channel. Of course, when Ronald D. Moore and the SyFy Channel tell you anything....you believe them!! When they try and sell you a tacky bag of goods that is obviously a tacky bag of goods...you ignore the overwhelming evidence that it is a tacky of goods.....and you believe them!! That's just how you get into the spirit of watching a Ronald D. Moore television series on the SyFy Channel....You ignore how bad it is....and cheer it!! You get into the mental frame of thought of being a...."kinder, gentler, Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentator."
5) The usual frowning.....mumbling.....staring blankly off into the distance....and sexual assault of one another we have come to expect from all of the characters of a Ronald D. Moore television series for the SyFy Channel we have come to expect.
We have seen all of this stuff before in "GINO" and "Caprica", and SyFy Channel is going to show it to all of us all over again in "Blood & Chrome." SyFy Channel is going to show it to us all over again because the SyFy Channel never has anything new to show us. When you have been as tacky and as versatile in the shoveling of dime store muck into the faces of the public as Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel have been, you don't begin changing your spots now. When you settle into your rut of not making money with the "Battlestar Galactica" property as Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel have, you're not about to change your bad habits now. Unless of course, new corporate mommy & daddy Comcast steps in and asks...."Gosh guys!! Why aren't you making any money over here at the SyFy Channel?"
Posted by Languatron at 9:31 AM
Thursday, March 10, 2011
This is something I like to affectionately refer to as...."Corporate Damage Control." Comcast has an unpleasant duty (and embarrassing duty for all those involved) coming up on its new owner slate. All of the Universal Studios / SyFy Channel executives and employees of "Abraham & Harrison" still roaming the Internet and still stealth marketing for both of Ronald D. Moore's long since cancelled television series ("Caprica", and "GINO") are going to have to be rounded up (herded) by Comcast so that Comcast can objectively assess exactly what the hell these idiots have been doing on Internet bulletin boards for the past decade (primarily arguing with the general public on Internet bulletin boards above and beyond the call of mere stealth marketing)....and why they have been doing this. Who know? Maybe Comcast will determine that their employees of Universal Studios / SyFy Channel and the hired thugs of "Abraham & Harrison" have been engaging in illegal activity during the past decade....and implement the appropriate remedies.
I can think of a few things Comcast needs to do first. Comcast needs to shut down the following forums: http://www.stallioncornell.com/board, the http://frakheads.19.forumer.com/, and http://forums.syfy.com/. All three forums have been a "hive collective" of every Universal Studios / SyFy Channel executive with an undiagnosed psychological problem, and every stealth marketing employee of "Abraham & Harrison" with an undiagnosed psychological problem. Comcast needs to put to an end this overly stale era at Universal Studios / SyFy Channel. Their corporate employees and "Abraham & Harrison" with undiagnosed psychological problems taking it upon themselves to redefine what "stealth marketing" is, and using that deranged definition of theirs as an excuse to argue with the general public on Internet bulletin boards.....about just about anything. Go to any of these forums....pick a topic (any topic) out of thin air....and corporate executives from Universal Studios / SyFy Channel (who inhabit these forums 365 days a year including Christmas Eve and Christmas Day) will pick a fight with you. And so will the hired thugs of the stealth marketing firm "Abraham & Harrison" (hired by Universal Studios and SyFy Channel). If this necessary clean up job isn't at the top of Comcast's "to do" list now.....it will eventually have to be at the top of their "to do" list in the very near future.
How would that make any corporation look? A corporation that has executive employees with undiagnosed psychological problems, and employees of "Abraham & Harrison" with similar psychological difficulties....engaging in a deranged definition of stealth marketing for a decade. A stealth marketing campaign that technically should have ended back in 2003 immediately after Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" (Galactica in Name Only) pilot / miniseries had aired. A stealth marketing campaign that continued on through all four seasons of the "GINO" series, continued on through to "Caprica", and is still firmly in place for "Blood & Chrome." A stealth marketing campaign that became much more than that via the emotional instability of Universal Studios / SyFy Channel as a corporation. A stealth marketing campaign that Universal Studios / SyFy Channel doesn't merely use for the promotion of Ronald D. Moore's latest drek, but rather as a defense mechanism against astute criticisms of themselves as a corporation.
Specifically, Comcast needs to round up the following employees / stealth marketing handles on http://www.stallioncornell.com/board, http://forums.syfy.com/, and http://frakheads.19.forumer.com/ .....Stallion_Cornell, Neuromanzr, MrPostModernist, and WarMachine. And once Comcast rounds them up, Comcast needs to implement the.....appropriate remedies.
Posted by Languatron at 9:36 AM