Saturday, April 30, 2011

There's a Big Difference Between Being a Legitimately Successful Business...And Refusing to Go Away After You Fail Again and Again

NBC-Universal's "SyFy Channel" should have closed up shop a long time ago. Nothing they have done or will ever do....will be commercially successful....riding the pulse of what any demographic group or genre fan wants to see....or worthy of being situated within any remote definition of success. NBC-Universal's "SyFy Channel" has been run by a group of....out of touch....supremely untalented.....Wall Street minded.....television executives....who keep plugging along despite one miserable failure after another because they haven't been told yet to clean out their desks and hit the road.

NBC-Universal's "SyFy Channel" continues to exist not because it was ever riding a wave of ever perpetuating....legitimate financial success....but because those who run it at the present corporate level have refused to take a hint...."and get the Hell out of here." It's been more than long enough for NBC-Universal to prove whether or not they could run an intended science fiction channel (over a decade)...and what they have repeatedly demonstrated is a general....all around turning this channel into some sort of money making part time job for themselves.

NBC-Universal's "SyFy Channel" has always existed as a "far below the bare minimum threshold of acceptable profit making" cable channel because the management talent has never been there (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern) and the bargain basement hacks they always hire to provide them with television programming (Ronald D. Moore, David Eick) repeatedly fail to entice viewers.

What has kept NBC-Universal's "SyFy Channel" going all of this time is not stellar profit making by any means....but rather the utter brute force of arrogant will power in the face of its own mortality as supremely untalented....hacks. This train hasn't been chugging along via its own's been pushed along all of this time by Bonnie Hammer....David Howe....and Mark Stern. And all of their individual and collective....supposedly brilliant ideas....have done nothing to prevent the "SyFy Channel" from being beaten by anything broadcast on the "Cartoon Network"...or randomly placed informercials across the board.

The fact of the matter is....the "SyFy Channel" itself....and everything they have ever done under NBC-Universal's corporate ownership....has ultimately proven to be....a marketing and financial dud. You don't keep a channel like this pull the plug on it...period. Because NBC-Universal (after over a decade)...still doesn't know what to do with this damn channel (the moniker...."SyFy??")...and Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern are as clueless as they always have been in their positions at the "SyFy Channel."

Bonnie Hammer....David Howe....and Mark Stern have issued umpteenth statements and have attended endless promotional junkets announcing one (supposedly)....bold new direction after another for the "SyFy Cannel"....only to have the results ending up being.....another financial dead end for the "SyFy Channel."
The problem that keeps biting all three of them in the ass again and that none of them are science fiction fans. It would be the same thing as all three of them being out on a football field with a team of professional football players...and during a huddle.....Hammer, Howe, and Stern announce to the team...."We don't like football....but we would still like to come up with our own play instead, replacing the one preferred by the coach." If this were a world filled with "common sense"....the three of them would be thrown off the field. If this were a world filled with "common sense"....the three of them would have been fired from the "SyFy Channel" ages ago.

Bonnie Hammer / David Howe / Mark Stern: "We don't like science fiction television we're going to put on our own....incoherent.....vague....crap instead."

There's nothing wrong with science fiction television programming....the only problem is....Hammer, Howe, and Stern do not like science fiction television programming. (In other words, they have never liked their present place of employment.) Fans of televised science fiction are not "geeks living in their basements" as Hammer...Howe...and Stern...are fond of saying. It's a delusional stereotype cooked up by the three of them in order to support their personal dislike of science fiction television programming....and their intellectual inabilities to grasp the subject matter of science fiction both in literature and on the television screen.

NBC-Universal's "SyFy Channel" has been dead in the water for a very long time. Solely due to the fact that Bonnie Hammer....David Howe...and Mark Stern have been involved in its ("cough") management for far too long...and the three of them really do need to move on....and get as far away from science fiction television programming...and science fiction (period) one can get.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Additional "Blood & Chrome" Pre-Production Art Has Just Been Released

1. A young William "Husker" Adama gets ready for a night on the town.
2. The transportation William "Husker" Adama will use to get to the party.
3. The party itself.
4. The new "I-L Series Mobile Assault Cylon." Code Name: The "Dapper Gremlin"
5. William "Husker" Adama tries to pick up a girl by "doin' the moves" on her.
6. William "Husker" Adama's grandmother...."Get over here...Sonny!!"
7. A sunset on the planet "Caprica."
8. Standard issue "Colonial Warrior Battle Tank."
9. An explosion on "Caprica."
10. Standard issue currency on the planet "Caprica." The "C" stands for......."Caprica."
11. William "Husker" Adama's house.
12. The "Cylon Homeworld."
13. An old fashioned "Colonial Viper" lifts off from its blast-off pad.

Why Are Universal Studios / SyFy Channel Executives Such Boring People?

It isn't just in their alleged science fiction television programs on the SyFy Channel that prove how monumentally boring Universal Studios / SyFy Channel executives are intellectually speaking, it's also in the manner in which they express themselves verbally. In all honesty, who talks like this?

Mark Stern: "We want to expand our brand name by getting away from what we are supposed to be. The real money to be made is when we stop being who we are."

If you met a person like this in a public place, would you want to get to know them any further? Simply from the standpoint of self defining "boredom" oozing out of every orifice of the statement?

Bonnie Hammer: "Fans can't drive the creative process. If they do, they would strip our ambiguity away from us, and force us to define ourselves."

Again...would encountering Bonnie Hammer in a bar motivate you to want to get to know her any further after she utters a self defining, statement of boredom like that?

NBC-Universal: "Hobnobbing with Leonard."

This eccentric phrase was the title of a post written by one of the infinite and deranged Universal Studios / SyFy Channel executives on the Frakheads forum. Who on this earth uses the word "hobnob?" Except for maybe a stuffy and bi-polar member of the British Royal Family with tea and crumpets shoved up their ass. Anyone who routinely uses the word "hobnob" instantly defines themselves as someone who hangs out at the library all day long....and this is the highlight of their day. This is the "apogee" of excitement on a daily basis for them.

The television shows and movies of Universal Studios / SyFy Channel executives are boring because these executives are boring people themselves. These are people who sit on their asses all day long in the Black Tower playing "Yahtzee" and counting the plaster bumps on the ceiling.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

How Many People Now Know How Deranged and Incompetent Universal Studios / SyFy Channel Executives Really Are?

This is a daily snapshot of my audience here on this blog....

United States - 240
United Arab Emirates - 145
Ukraine - 76
Canada - 88
Denmark - 43
Australia - 79
Spain - 55
Singapore - 132
Germany - 24
Lithuania - 77
Mexico - 96
New Zealand - 54
Ireland - 39

This shouldn't deter all of the nutcases from Universal Studios / SyFy Channel still posting on the Frakheads forum now should it?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Remember The Time Traveler From The Charlie Chaplin DVD "The Circus?" There is Another One

I'm going to go off topic here and discuss something I noticed recently. The paranoid executives at Universal Studios / SyFy Channel should love this.

I'll be the first to refute time travel as I am the ultimate skeptic there is. But I'll also be the first to acknowledge the possibility of a pattern developing when something seemingly inexplicable makes a second appearance. The first appearance of apparent time travel as we all know, appeared in the extras section of the DVD release of the Charlie Chaplin film "The Circus." This was brought to everyone's attention in the fall of 2010 as film footage surfaced in this DVD release of an elderly woman walking in front of the "Mann's Chinese Theater", and apparently holding a cell phone to her ear. The debunkers quickly jumped on the bandwagon, offering endless explanations up to and including that the elderly woman was merely holding a 1926 era hearing aid to her ear. I didn't buy this particular debunk theory for a minute, as 1926 era hearing aids were the size of megaphones, and what this woman is clearly holding to her ear is something compact along the lines of a cell phone or a portable electric razor.

The skeptics and the debunkers now have another problem. They have something else to try and debunk. Specifically, the appearance of a possible time traveler in an episode of "Emergency" from 1975. Yes, the same "Emergency" television series starring Randolph Mantooth and Kevin Tighe. In the third season episode entitled "Inheritance Tax", shortly after the opening credits, an ambulance is pulling into "Rampart General Hospital." If you look to the right of the ambulance as it is first pulling into the wide driveway, there is a woman sort of fast walking in the opposite direction of where the ambulance is headed. She is apparently wearing shorts and a jogging outfit. She is clearly lifting her left arm and holding something compact to her ear. Now the debunkers would say, "Well, that is just a 1975 era transistor radio." I have two problems with this theory that I am anticipating from the debunkers. One, there is no attenna attached to this device (necessary for good audio reception and common to all mid 1970s transistor radios) and two, why would anyone need to hold a radio to their ear? Can't you just dial up the volume?

I'm the ultimate skeptic there is, but I'm also open to possibilities mainstream society still isn't aware of in the 21st Century. What we have as of now, is two women from 1926 and 1975 inadvertently caught on film holding an apparently identical compact device to their ears. Am I being silly? I would be the first to admit that I am. But then again, we have permanent film footage of these two women apparently doing something unusual in the eras of time they are appearing. Think about it. In 1926 and 1975, what common place, compact device existed that would require one to hold this device to their ear? In 1975, why would a jogger need to hold any device to their ear? Let alone something compact?

Monday, April 25, 2011

What Formal Education Do Universal Studios / SyFy Channel Executives Receive?

Not too long ago, there was a movie released called "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" starring Sean Connery. In the story, a bunch of misfits come together in order to achieve a common goal. You had a vampire....Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde.....The Invisible Man....Captain Nemo...etc. Obviously from the standpoint of what these characters had to do wasn't necessary what their prior work experience / education was, or what the hell was on their resumes. They just had to team up....board a submarine...and stop some nut from blowing up London.

This pretty much sums up the circumstances (metaphorically speaking) upon which Universal Studios / SyFy Channel executives were assembled for their jobs. Their only duties have been....(from day one) team up and......(1) Trash the "Battlestar Galactica" copyright...(2) Keep rubber stamping one financially doomed project after another from Ronald D. Moore....(3) Keep putting crap on the SyFy Channel....and (4) attack the general public on Internet bulletin boards.

You don't need a formal education in order to do (this shit)....what Universal Studios / SyFy Channel executives do on a daily basis. You don't even need a G.E.D. You just have to be a stuck-up smart Ronald D. Moore in a really creepy way.....have no talent and zero indications of original thinking within the realm of Science Fiction copyright management....and hate the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series to the extent of busting a nut over it. If you possess all of these eccentric too....can board "Captain Nemo's Nautilus of Employment at Universal Studios / SyFy Channel"....and have employment for decades.

Somehow....I just can't envision the interview process for potential Universal Studios / SyFy Channel executives being particularly difficult for the candidates...or the issue of education and / or prior work experience even being raised....or even being mandatory discussion matter. What I do a series of key questions being asked in order to weed out undesirable candidates.....(1) "Do you hate the '1978 Battlestar Galactica' series?" (2) "Do you love Ronald D. Moore more than the 'Lord Thy God?' (3) Do you believe that uneducated 'Trailer Park Trash' is the desirable demographic to be shooting for on the SyFy Channel and in theaters?" (4) Do you believe that not attacking the general public on Internet bulletin boards can bring about the corporate demise of Universal Studios / SyFy Channel?

Answering...."No" any of these questions will result in you not getting hired.....Right?

Sunday, April 24, 2011

J.J. Abrams' "Star Trek 2" Has a Release Date...June 29th, 2012

What can we expect from Universal Studios in terms of a follow-up to its February 2009 announcement of a new "Battlestar Galactica" movie? Will we get any update (a pre-production sketch on a cocktail napkin at least?) from Universal Studios in the next year as to this supposed movie? Will Universal Studios have a "Battlestar Galactica" movie in theaters next compete with J.J. Abrams "Star Trek 2?" Most likely....."No"....What we can count on instead from Universal updates on the following....

1. Routine updates on Glen A. Larson's next...impending....exlax induced...bowel movement.

2. Routine updates on the SyFy Channel's ever losing relationship with Ronald D. Moore.

3. Routine updates on the SyFy Channel's inevitably doomed...."Blood & Chrome"....television series...up to and including how the SyFy Channel plans to keep the low rated series alive after it carries on Ronald D. Moore's humble tradition of pulling in ratings in the......1.0.....range.

4. Routine updates on how Bonnie Hammer....David Howe...and Mark Stern plan to blow the SyFy Channel's money on Ronald D. Moore's next incarnation of his ever money losing and "audience-less"....... "Galactica in Name Only" dynasty.....after "Blood & Chrome" flops....

a. "Galactica" the game show?

b. "Galactica" the soap opera? "Ooops!!" Ronald D. Moore has already done that!!

c. The "Galactica" Home Shopping Network. Have Edward James Olmos "frown" immortalized in a figurine or a plastic....Halloween face mask!!

d. The "Galactica Home Pregnancy Test"....For acquainting teenage girls with the "Galactica" brand name.

The next 12 months are going to be interesting....aren't they?

Friday, April 22, 2011

I Respectfully Request That President Obama Appoint a Special Commission

A "Special Commission" that will help NBC-Universal / SyFy Channel find ratings for Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" series....Ratings NBC-Universal / SyFy Channel won't stop searching for.....Ratings it never had in the first place...'s eight years later.....Eight years after Ronald D. Moore's low rated "GINO" series debuted....and suffered four seasons of monumentally low ratings.

You see....NBC-Universal / SyFy Channel will never admit that they made a huge mistake in putting Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" series on the air in the first they are going to spend the rest of their corporate lives searching for ratings....for Ronald D. Moore's long since cancelled "GINO" series.

NBC-Universal / SyFy Channel is now searching for the ratings in England....where all four rat infested seasons of "GINO" have been recently sold to the BBC for the inevitable....low rated broadcasts.

I'm going to make an educated guess here....and bet dollars to donuts...that "GINO's" ratings on the BBC will be so low....that they will not even make it through the first season of reruns before they yank the show from the air....and demand a refund from NBC-Universal / SyFy Channel as to what they bought.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Things Glen A. Larson Needs to Keep in Mind if He Ever Wants to Bring "Battlestar Galactica" to the Big Screen

It has become blatantly obvious that Glen A. Larson needs to get a number of things clear in his thinking before he can even begin thinking about bringing "Battlestar Galactica" to the big screen....

1. It isn't enough that Glen A. Larson merely announce that a new "Battlestar Galactica" movie is in production. He is actually going to have to get off of his ass and physically make the movie. The movie is not going to make itself. He hasn't realized this in 33 years?

2. Glen A. Larson should know by now that all of his corporate friends and colleagues at Universal Studios have hated the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series for the past 33 years. He should also have realized long before now that you can't go into the "Black Tower" and negotiate with pig-headed people like this. They're all bastards. Yes...all of Glen A. Larson's corporate friends at Universal Studios are bastards.

Just as President Obama should have realized long before now that you can't negotiate with a bunch of corporate thugs known as the Republican Party.

3. Glen A. Larson needs to begin seriously thinking about pulling the "Galactica" copyright out of Universal Studios. Larson should know by now that the only product that will ever come out of Universal Studios with the "Galactica" logo slapped on it is the end result of Universal Studios continued....anal love affair with Ronald D. Moore. A "Poop-Love Child" if you will.....

4. Taking his present old age into consideration....Glen A. Larson needs to begin thinking about....if he doesn't make a new "Battlestar Galactica" movie soon....he will not live long enough to enjoy "Galactica's return."

5. Glen A. Larson could do much...much better than having Bryan Singer direct a "Battlestar Galactica" film. If Larson wants a "Galactica" movie mutated into a "chick flick" for the "Driving Miss Daisy" crowd or the "Devil Wears Pravda" crowd....then  by all means consent to Bryan Singer directing a "Battlestar Galactica" film. Yes....Bryan Singer loved "Battlestar Galactica" as a kid (so he says)....and he also loved "Superman - The Movie" as a kid (so he says)...and look where that got him with "Superman Returns." (rolling my eyes)...

6. The creation of any story and script for any "Battlestar Galactica" movie should not be any "corporate committee effort" involving any of Glen A. Larson's corporate colleagues and friends at Universal Studios. After all....these are the same people who have hated the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series for the past 33 years.

7. Here's a novel idea....How about not even thinking about Bryan Singer & Tom DeSanto for any potential upcoming "Galactica" movie? When have they ever done "Battlestar Galactica" any favors? Which two idiots have always abandoned any potential "Galactica" movie for...."that ever so strategically timed and placed alternate project"....that always came around the bend.....ever so conveniently sabotaging any potential "Battlestar Galactica" theatrical film? Why....none other than Bryan Singer & Tom DeSanto. Fans of the "1978 series" since they were ass. At the very least....any potential "Battlestar Galactica" movie needs professionals who are not going to abandon the project at the drop of a hat.

8. Hey Glen....Just tell your buddies at Universal Studios to bail on the copyright and sell it...if you can't take the heat.

9. Hey Glen....think bigger for "Battlestar Galactica"....Christopher Nolan in the Director's Chair.

10. Hey Glen....Have you dozed off at the latest comic book convention?

Is Glen A. Larson Even Aware of the Promises That He Makes?

Generally takes Hollywood roughly two years to make a movie and distribute it to movie screens. Glen A. Larson on the other hand....can take an entire lifetime to make the movies he keeps promising to make. I'm still waiting for Glen A. Larson's "Battlestar Galactica" movie he promised to make with the FOX Network back in 1993....I'm also waiting for his "Battlestar Galactica" movie announced in February 2009....I'm also waiting for the many other "Battlestar Galactica" movies Glen A. Larson announced during different times and decades. In this video clip....Glen A. Larson promised a "Knight Rider" movie two years ago. Where is it?

When Glen A. Larson announces a movie of any sort....we can count on a number of things....

1. He will never...ever....keep his word.

2. The United States of America will go through endless Presidents....and endless new members of Congress (coming and going) spanning decades.....and endless new fads coming and going.....without Glen A. Larson delivering any sort of a movie he promised.

3. Glen A. Larson's "Clout in Hollywood".....his ability to get any sort of project off the about the same as mine.....and I'm not even in the business......and I haven't even logged the endless hours of "television series marginality" that Glen A. Larson has....spanning decades. Yet....Glen A. Larson has as much of a chance to realize any of the movies he has I would.

4. I think Glen A. Larson just lives to promise what he can't deliver. It's where his "Lifeforce" emanates from.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Bryan Singer Admits The Mistakes He Made in "Superman Returns"...Will Ronald D. Moore Ever Admit His Mistakes With "Galactica?"

Of course....Bryan Singer obviously didn't go far enough in admitting how badly he fucked up in trying to reboot "Superman." Such as...

1. The fact that Superman barely had any dialogue in the movie at all.

2. Despite the fact that Superman and Lois Lane were lovers, they had very little to say to one another when Superman returned from his outer space mission.

3.  The mean spirited and ugly manner in which Lex Luthor tries to kill Superman (stabbing him with a kryptonite knife)...."Superman" movies are supposed to be family movies suitable for every age group in the family including moms and their children. 

4.The fact that Superman's lack of dialogue throughout the whole movie was obviously an attempt to cover up Brandon Routh's limited acting range. Quite frankly, the movie destroyed Brandon Routh's would be career in one swoop. And Brandon Routh did a fair share of destroying his own career himself in "Superman Returns" as he wasn't much of an actor to begin with. Brandon Routh is now the "Bruce Campbell of horror B-Movies".....occasionally popping up in "immediately destined for DVD" horror movies.

5. Bryan Singer's "sell-out preoccupation" with Richard Donner's brilliant "Superman" movies with Christopher Reeve...up to and including swiping John William's musical score....and John Barry's art direction and production design (Krypton's crystal structure.) What's the matter Bryan? You're incapable of inspired...original thinking yourself?

6. Instead of having a son with a sparkling personality and always getting into fun loving mischief (that would have gone over beautifully with the children in the audience), Bryan Singer decided that Superman's son would be a withdrawn, disturbed child with asthma.

All of these things worked against "Superman Returns" and guaranteed that the stupid ass movie would not be a family friendly....mass market success.


What about Ronald D. Moore? Will we ever live to see the day of him finally admitting how badly he fucked up "Battlestar Galactica?" I would love to read an interview like this with Ronald D. Moore...

Hollywood Reporter: "Ron...What do you think went wrong with your take on 'Battlestar Galactica?'"

Ron Moore: "Overall...I would have to say that it was my lack of experience as a television producer."

Hollywood Reporter: "That's quite an admission."

Ron Moore: "I now know that in order to succeed in this have to have previous producing experience before you are given solo producing responsibilities on a project such as 'Battlestar Galactica.' You also have to know how to work with have to know how to direct them in such a way where their performances and their characters just come alive. My lack of experience as a producer, and Michael Rhymer's lack of experience in knowing how to work with actors worked against us in the backdoor pilot....and unfortunately set the stage for the rest of the series consisting of nothing more than Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell.......FROWNING......Me and my crew were inexperienced....and we shouldn't have accepted the job."

Hollywood Reporter: "There was also heavy criticism hurled your way in your use of business suits in the wardrobe department....contemporary settings.....and location shooting that made no attempt to hide the fact that it was mere location shooting....despite the fact that your series was supposed to be taking place on alien worlds."

Ron Moore: "I was lazy...and I also had an ego the depth of the Grand Canyon. I got so pumped up over the unrealistic praise NBC-Universal's guerrilla style stalth marketing campaign was showering me with....I felt that no matter what lazy ass piece of shit I put on the television screen....I was still God."

Hollywood Reporter: "Thank you Ronald D. Moore for your candor."

Maybe someday...if Ronald D. Moore ever matures (emotionally) with age......he just might give an interview like this 15 or 20 years from now.

Monday, April 18, 2011

I Bet There's More Richard Hatch Fans Out There Than Ronald D. Moore Fans

Treat yourself....pick up a copy. Those Universal Studios and SyFy Channel executives who routinely browse this blog need not purchase I'll find out your real name and address if you do. Of course, if the lot of you have an alias and P.O. Box number that's a different story...isn't it? Wink...Wink...

Come On Down....SyFy Channel!! You're Hated Again!! You're The Next Contestant on the...."Price is Right!!"


"Sy Fy Channel continues downward spiral into madness. Or is it just mediocrity?

Posted by Richard Drake on Thu, Mar 3, 2011 at 10:25 AM

Truth be told, I probably watch more science fiction these days on BBC America or Turner Classic Movies than I do on the Sy Fy Channel,
Woody Bell, who once ran Warner Cable in Fayetteville, told me sometime in the mid-1990s that if he had his way, Fayetteville cable would never be offering the Sci-Fi Channel - as SyFy was known in those days.
Shocked, I asked him why. I mean, every science fiction fan worth their salt would be flocking to the channel, surely? Isaac Asimov was on their advisory board, for heaven’s sake!
Bell explained that he had nothing against the offerings of the channel, but the high amount of infomercials that ran when there was no actual programming didn’t make it worth much of a buy, in his opinion.
Needless to say, I was aghast. I would gladly have accepted twelve hours of infomercials a day (as long as they were the hours I worked or was asleep) as long I got to watch watch the Sci Fi Channel, damn it!
Later in the 1990s, the Sci Fi Channel came to Fayetteville and there was rejoicing in the land. Classic TV shows mixed with new offerings. The channel seemed a mecca for those who were riddled with creativity.
In recent years, though, the creative folks seem to have been largely banished from the Sy Fy Channel, and in their wake, we find shows about ghost hunters, cute shows that skirt the edge of science fiction (but nothing too troubling) and wrestling.
All of this began well before the move to change the name from Sci Fi to Sy Fy, in an effort to attract more viewers - hey, we’re more than just stuff that challenges the mind! We have wrestling!
It’s a strange mix, ranging from the incredible Battlestar Galactica reboot to reality shows about would-be superheroes, psychics and shows where folks scare their “friends” - and people say that public access schedules range all over the map!
This next season, Sy Fy will be offering viewers a cooking show.
And the movies!
Back in the 1950s a lot of cheesy science fiction and horror movies came out. Sure, they were bad, but they were fun to watch, and there was some honest sincerity in the film-making of many of them.
Like the 1960s Star Trek and Doctor Who, they did the best with what they had.
The crap that the Sy Fy Channel runs on Saturday nights (“The Most Dangerous Night of Television” goes their promotion - well, maybe if you only have only channel and no books to read) is not in that class.
The films that SyFy runs are made by producers with nothing but the most abject contempt for the viewers. And by extension, Sy Fy has the same contempt, because they choose to run them.
Tyrannosaurus Azteca
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus
Dinocroc vs. Supergator - David Carradine’s last film.
And lest we forget - Mansquito. This film is so truly bad that I have often felt that every TV series on Sy Fy should have Mansquito guest star at least once - if only to remind us of the cruddy network that we are watching.

There are a few interesting series remaining on Sy Fy, but honestly, if it went out of business today, who would truly notice? The shows with a real audience would simply move on to other networks.
And then, one day, real channel devoted to science fiction might emerge from the ashes of the Sy Fy Channel, a glorious channel where none of the executives from the current network would even be allowed in the doors."


The SyFy Channel Hates Science Fiction...And It's All Your Fault

The negative opinions are unanimous (and the negative opinions keep rolling in)....Nobody likes what Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern are doing....

quote -

"Sharktopus. DinoCroc vs. Supergator. Chupacabra: Dark Seas. The channel formerly known as SciFi is telling you something. Are you listening? Here it is: “We don’t take this genre seriously, and neither should you.” Sure, we all enjoy a nice bit of schlock cinema now and again, but what happens when schlock stops being schlock and starts to supplant quality entertainment? I’ll tell you: the bar gets lowered, and people learn to expect less. That’s what SyFy is doing. It’s lowering the bar for fans. But it’s not only doing that: it’s also ruining science fiction, fantasy and horror for the rest of America. There are plenty of people who think that they don’t like science fiction or fantasy because they think it’s all stupid stuff like mutant sharks and the Chupacabra on the Love Boat. They think genre films and books are incapable of saying anything intelligent or genuine, and who can blame them when they’re blowing through the channels and see descriptions like this?

While trying to find a cure for the West Nile virus, a scientist turns herself and her subject into mutant insects.
Saturday, March 5
3:00 AM – 5:00 AM, 17 SYFYSure, you might think it sounds like a good time, but what about your grandmother or baseball coach? Think they’re going to change their stance on horror films or science fiction? Not likely. Anyway, even if watching Mansquito sounds like a fun way to spend the wee hours of the morning, are you still going to feel the same way when these kinds of movies are all that the SyFy channel churns out? How about Mansquito 5: The Manskeetering? Will you still be along for the ride? Probably not, but the thing is that since we’re all giggling along with SyFy and watching all this stuff – even ironically – they’ll keep making them. Know why? It’s because of the advertisers. They don’t care why you’re watching something. They only care that you watch it, and thus more of these stinkers keep getting made. This is the same thing that keeps those day-glo orange CHUDs from Jersey Shore on television. Oh, and The History Channel’s boner for Bigfoot? Same thing.
So how do we stop this steady erosion into mediocrity? It’s up to you. Stop watching it. Stop linking to it. Stop reviewing it. Don’t give it any attention, and maybe it will go away. You deserve better. Demand that that SyFy lives up to its motto, “Imagine Greater.” It’s either do this or stop complaining that mainstream culture doesn’t take your favorite genre seriously. The choice is yours.

11 Responses to “The SyFy Channel Hates Sci Fi, And It’s All Your Fault”

  1. Will says:
    I see what you’re saying, but I don’t think they hate scifi. They’re just putting on movies and shows that make them money. There’s an audience for those shitty monster movies and they’re cheap, so I don’t blame them for making more. That stuff probably helps pay for the “good” scifi that we want to see since the really good stuff doesn’t tend to get great ratings.
    Personally, I think I’ll focus on getting more people to watch “good” scifi on Syfy that I want to see more of like Eureka, BSG, and even Warehouse 13.
  2. Nick says:
    Gotta disagree with you a little.
    I am not gonna say “Mansquito” is anything great but, least it’s not damn wrestling.
    The B-movies Scifi is putting out aren’t really hurting SciFi, if anything they’re helping it as a genre. The great thing about scifi & fantasy is that while at times we take it seriously, it allows for a bit of hilarity and hoakem from time to time. It’s not a genere that has to be locked in to certain conventions, and Just because a movie is hoakey doesn’t mean it’s a blight on the genre, I mean have you SEEN Army of Darkness.
    I guess what I am trying to say is SciFi, ANY SciFi being shown on tv, is a good thing. People who hate scifi or don’t understand it as a genre aren’t usually changed from that mindset, and while B-movies don’t discourage their belief, a movie like Primer likely won’t change their mind either.
    I say celebrate SciFi in all it’s forms, both the horribly hoakey and amazingly awesome. Just make sure it has a plot you can follow :)
  3. VigRoco says:
    I am with the movement to bring MST3K back on SyFy and have them watch all these horrible movies. That way SyFy vindicates itself and enthralls the fans.
  4. Jon says:
    Nick and Will are wrong, and Matt Staggs is exactly right. Sci-fi used to be something greater. It used to address culturally relevant issues while entertaining the heck out of you. Army of Darkness? Sure, that was a great movie. Which is why it has no place in this conversation, it is incomparable to Mosquito man or whatever. Matt is saying stop with the crap and demand better. I personally would like to see more book adaptations, although I guess that would cost more money than Mosquito Man or whatever, but fine, pay the money and give us a good product.
  5. Samantha says:
    I’ll definitely agree with you on this. While I’ve been known to watch the occasional terrible quality, bad dialogue B (C,D, and maybe even E) movie, I don’t think these are the types of things that should be used as filler on television. These kind of movies are not going to get people interested in the genre. If anything it will reinforce all of the stereotypical ideas associate with science fiction/fantasy/horror.
    Everyone who enjoys the campy, sub-par cinema like Mansquito whether it be ironically or sincerely, should invest in a Netflix account and stop tuning into SyFy for these showings.
    Great article. More genre enthusiasts should consider this point.
  6. no name says:
    Very insightful and agree.
  7. Scott says:
    Never underestimate the power of stupid.
  8. they could do better if they had a Saturday night fright night…with Elvira…rerun old great si/fi movies, they’re better than this crap they have been passing off as sucks.
  9. Groff says:
    A new facebook group has been started to get a community effort together to bring back decent programming to our once beloved SciFi network. Name change, WWE, cooking shows and the cancellation of any decent science fiction programming they should be lucky enough to stumble into and their programming is now a joke.
    Like the facebook group or follow us @ResurrectSciFi to show your support to bring the SciFi back to SyFy
  10. Richard S. Drake says:
    I have been thinking the very same thing lately.
    Sy Fy Channel continues downward spiral into madness. Or is it just mediocrity?
  11. Tom Sawyer says:
    No one saw this coming? I did. The moment the took the “SCIence” and the “FIction” out of the name of the channel.
    I don’t know what (or who) “SY” is; and all I can think of from the “FY” is “FantasY”
    If they wanted to keep any semblance of Science Fiction, the channel would be SciFy – to combine the Science and the Fantasy.
    And I know that wrestling is all Fiction… but on this channel? Give me a break.
    SyFy: Imagine Greater Shows Elsewhere" - unquote

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Soap Operas "All My Children" and "One Life to Live" Have Been Cancelled....Will "Blood & Chrome" Be Next?

It truly sucks to be the SyFy Channel in more ways than one nowadays. I guess they didn't do their marketing research (rooted in foresight) well enough to realize that Ronald D. Moore's Soap Opera-ish nonsense showcased in "GINO" and "Caprica"...and eventually to be spilling over into "Blood & Chrome" a dying breed of television programming. Soap Operas are on their way out...and so too will "Blood & Chrome" as it will no doubt be carrying on the Ronald D. Moore dysfunctional tradition of....Soap Opera first.....Science Fiction last (if at all.)

It's inevitable that the SyFy Channel will continue to crank out Ronald D. Moore's Soap Opera-ish nonsense in "Blood & Chrome" regardless of the recent cancellations of "All My Children" and "One Life to Live" because these "Ronny Operas" are the only types of programs the SyFy Channel knows how to produce with Ronald D. Moore. And they will keep on doing so until the overwhelming reality of the Soap Opera genre's death sinks in via "Blood & Chrome" pulling in ratings in the negative digits.

Other than this....there is nothing that the SyFy Channel and Ronald D. Moore know how to do together. Absolutely nothing. I dare say that not only does the recent cancellations of "All My Children" and "One Life to Live" drive the final nails into the coffin of the Soap Opera genre....but it also drives nails into the coffin of the "SyFy Channel / Ronald D. Moore" partnership. There simply isn't a market anymore for Soap Opera nonsense.....whether it's a straight up Soap Opera like "Ryan's Hope" or "General Hospital"....or whether it's the indirect nonsense of the "SyFy Channel's Soap Opera Space Shows" produced and written by Ronald D. Moore.

Pine Valley and Erica Kane are now gone. With any luck....Ronald D. Moore's "William Husker Adama" in "Blood & Chrome" will also be gone....long before "Blood & Chrome" even debuts.

The Corporate Mentality Has Pretty Much Decimated The SyFy Channel

Repeatedly listening to David Howe recite his ambiguous wish list for what he wants the SyFy Channel to become is like listening to someone afflicted with autism attempting to recite the alphabet. This is a guy who was obviously crapped out of the rear end of Corporate America....and he's probably a fuckin' Republican to boot.

The corporate mentality and televised Science Fiction have never gotten along. It has been and forever shall be a dysfunctional business relationship. The neat thing about Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern of NBC-Universal / SyFy that they have taken this traditional dysfunctional relationship to staggering new heights of absurdity....and have made absolute asses out of themselves in the process.

Thanks to Bonnie Hammer.....David Howe....and Mark Stern......the SyFy Channel has ultimately become a faceless platform of wasted air space. Think of an Internet marketplace like, being nothing more than faceless entities that host the endless listings of an infinite variety of products...with none of the products being associated with one another in terms of an overall theme. This is what the SyFy Channel has become. A non-identity cable channel hosting a number of television programs of varied subject matter with none of the television programs being connected to one another in terms of an overall theme ("Caprica"...."Marcel's Quantum Kitchen"....WWF

David Howe can spin-doctor this all he wants to....he can even try and lead everyone to believe that the faceless ambiguity of the SyFy Channel that he....Bonnie Hammer...and Mark Stern are responsible all part of some (wisdom based) corporate grand plan of eventual marketability success with a discernable destination. The fact is.....David Howe....Bonnie Hammer....and Mark Stern utterly destroyed the original Sci-Fi Channel....and they replaced it with a faceless cable network (SyFy Channel) without a discernable identity.

There is no grand corporate plan to be had in the aftermath of what David Howe....Bonnie Hammer....and Mark Stern did to the Sci-Fi Channel. This is "Basic Common Sense 101" in that even children know there is nothing constructive to be had in the aftermath of any sort of destruction....whether it be a tsunami...a tornado....or a hurricane.

David Howe.....Bonnie Hammer....and Mark Stern have been making it up as they go along.....licking their index fingers and determining which direction the winds are blowing. "Cooking shows are popular now? Alright....let's do one!!"...."Wrestling is popular now? Alright...Let's bring the WWF over to the SyFy Channel!!"....."Children's shows are popular now? Let's start another faceless cable network called 'SyFy Kids.'" All the while decimating what the Sci-Fi Channel was supposed to be from day one.

This is the "Corporate Mentality" in a nutshell. Destroying something that the public really enjoyed (the original Sci-Fi Channel from the early / mid 1990s)...and replacing it with utter crap....(the present day SyFy Channel)....all the while trying to con the public into believing (as David Howe routinely tries to do) that there is some....."Majestic Corporate Plan".....woven into the framework of such psychological madness that will benefit both NBC / SyFy Channel (and the public) at the same time. In actuality....the only mission David Howe...Bonnie Hammer...and Mark Stern have ever had is the absolute destruction of the 1990s Sci-Fi Channel and all of its original contents. And there is never any follow-up plan after such destruction has been implemented because corporate people never have anything else to do after they have destroyed something. Sort of like Scott Walker's agenda in Wisconsin.

In the case of Bonnie Hammer....the only thing she has to do now to pass her time is probably routine visits to her "Nip & Tuck" Plastic Surgeon.

Friday, April 15, 2011

David Howe Keeps Speaking of Expanding The SyFy Channel's Brand. Brand of What? Brand of Anonymity?

Batman had an arch villain named False Face in the old 1966 "Batman" television series. False Face was an interesting villain because he would put on face masks in order to pretend being someone else. Yet, when he would take off the face masks of the people he was pretending to be..... his true facial features were that of a plastic mask. False Face had no individual....true identity. His true identity was anonymity.

This in a the dilemma of the SyFy Channel. They have pretended to be a wrestling channel....have pretended to be a cooking network....and now want to pretend to be a network for children. Yet, when you strip everything away that the SyFy Channel is pretending to be....their true identity anonymity.

David Howe of the SyFy Channel has had one hell of a time trying to expand the name brand of the SyFy Channel...and he will continue to have one hell of a time trying to expand the name brand of the SyFy Channel because in order to achieve such a task.....your channel has to have a fuckin' on-air identity in the fuckin' first place!! How do you expand the name brand of a cable channel that doesn't have a fuckin' on-air identity in the first place? It's the same thing as trying to expand the name brand of an anonymous person....a John Doe. What the fuck is the SyFy Channel? What sort of an on-air identity is that? It isn't Science Fiction....and it isn't anything else by definition. If the SyFy Channel knew what the fuck it could begin expanding its on-air identity of what it is. If it were a literature could begin expanding its on-air identity (brand name) into different aspects of literature.

David Howe keeps speaking of wanting the television audience to regard the SyFy Channel as "this" or "that" in the near future. The problem is...the television audience doesn't have a fuckin' clue as to what the SyFy Channel is right now. What the fuck is it? SyFy Channel has a moniker that can be enunciated as "Sci-Fi Channel".....yet David Howe doesn't want the channel to be regarded as Science Fiction. David Howe kinda'...sorta'...wants the SyFy Channel to be regarded anonymous commercial broadcast network...yet at the same time.....David Howe wants the television audience (via divine revelation no doubt) to somehow...someway....nail the precise identity of the SyFy Channel that he isn't sure of himself.

David Howe: "We're not Science Fiction....we're not fantasy. We're kinda'...sorta' wave....cutting edge....biker punk.....anonymity. And....we want to expand the SyFy Channel's corporate brand of.....anonymity.....into....something..... up to and including children's programming....wrestling....and a cooking show."

That is precisely what David Howe sounds like from objective vantage points.

What is this fuckin' corporate branding he keeps talking about? How does a cable channel without a discernable on-air identity expand its brand of....anonymity? How does a fuckin' cable channel without a discernable on-air identity even have a "brand" to expand at all?

If you  don't have an on-air don't have a corporate brand to expand.......period. Because you can't expand anonymity. You have to be something....or you have to be someone....before that can happen.

David Howe's SyFy Channel doesn't have an identity to expand.

Good luck....Davey boy!!

SyFy Channel to Enter....The Children's Programming Business??

Now I've heard everything. SyFy Channel...the schizophrenic cable network in terms of its on-air identity....primarily known for the low rated sexual perversions of Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" and "Caprica" wants to get into programming for children after WWF Wrestling and a God damn cooking show failed for them. I equate this with Charles Manson or John Wayne Gacy (if he were still alive) running a cable network for kids.

Isn't it amazing how many "lucrative realms of programming" the SyFy Channel keeps wanting to get itself into? I guess this is because these "lucrative realms of programming" work  for everyone else and the SyFy Channel keeps wanting to jump on the bandwagon. The bizarre thing is....these "lucrative realms of programming" only work for other people....they never work for the SyFy Channel. No doubt the SyFy Channel now wants to get into children's programming because their stab at a cooking show ("Marcel's Quantum Kitchen") isn't working out for them. And they got into a cooking show because "WWF Wrestling" wasn't working out for them.

Beginning to see a pattern here? No matter what "highly lucrative realms of programming" (for other people) the SyFy Channel tries to get into....these "highly lucrative realms of programming" never work out for them. Is it that the SyFy Channel has been cursed by the Devil? I think a more rational explanation is that...those who succeed in these "highly lucrative realms of programming" are genuinely interested in these particular types of programs....and those who succeed in these "highly lucrative realms of programming" are good natured people with their hearts in the right place. For example...those who succeed in children's programming genuinely love children...and genuinely want to educate, entertain, and enlighten them. The SyFy Channel on the other hand, regards children's programming as yet another flea market commodity to make a fast buck off of. The SyFy Channel is an ever expanding flea market of wildly varied subject matter in its programming....without its heart being in the right place. Thus...they have failed at a cooking show, they have failed at wrestling, and they will fail with a children's show.

Quite frankly, it is Science Fiction in itself to even suggest that anyone at the SyFy Channel loves children. Quite frankly, any corporate idiot who works at the SyFy Channel doesn't like anybody. I would urge any parent to not allow their child to watch any piece of garbage demographically targeted for kids (on the SyFy Channel) without any genuine heart behind it. After all, this is the same cable network of sexual perversion via Ronald D. Moore. This is the same cable network oozing with hostility towards genuine Science Fiction fans. This is the same cable network that produces the worst monster movies ever made every Saturday night...with the characters in these movies suffering horrible and unspeakable deaths.

And now the SyFy Channel wants children to watch them? Let's get a unanimous...."Hell No!!"....from every single loving parent in this country!!

"SyFy Kids" - A new cable network?? Are you fuckin' kidding me?? A cable network where youngsters can learn how to molest one another at an earlier age? I don't think so. And every parent in this country should stand firmly against this as well. NBC-Universal and SyFy Channel are not a kid friendly corporation...and they never will be. This proposed cable network is absolutely outrageous....and disgusting.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Why Hasn't Ronald D. Moore Enjoyed The Same Success He Enjoyed on "Star Trek: The Next Generation?"

Ronald D. Moore's gig with the SyFy Channel can only be categorized as hopping from one unsuccessful project to the next without hitting a financial or genuinely critic proof home run. He now has his butt planted at Sony, and the projects he continues to send NBC / SyFy Channel's way carry all of the unmistakable vintage characteristics of classic Ronald D. Moore. Projects not terribly interesting to begin with (Precinct 13, Blood & Chrome)...with these projects continuing to carry all of the vintage faults of Ronald D. Moore from years gone by....fragmented and poorly defined premises with severe errors in production design and casting.

Why hasn't Ronald D. Moore been able to duplicate the success he enjoyed on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" all of this time while being on his own? The obvious answer is....the success of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" was a committee effort achieved by "above the line" producing personnel higher in rank than Ronald D. Moore. Rick Berman....Brannon Braga....Michael Pillar. "Star Trek: The Next Generation" also benefited from cast members who turned out to be talented directors and scriptwriters in their own right. Patrick Stewart.....Jonathon Frakes....LeVar Burton....and Gates McFadden.

What has repeatedly been proven in the creation of science fiction television is that the "committee effort" in the creation process is always the best route to go. That way....if there is one producer (such as Ronald D. Moore or David Eick) who have really stupid ass ideas for the television series....their stupid ass ideas will either get vetoed.....diluted.....or balanced with level headed common the vast majority of the committee. What happened to Ronald D. Moore at the SyFy that none of his stupid ass ideas for "GINO"....."Caprica"....and the upcoming "Blood & Chrome" were vetoed....diluted...or balanced by professional colleagues more talented than he is. (And believe me...this world is filled with people more talented and imaginative than Ronald D. Moore.) So....because of this...the annoying "frowning aspect of melodramatic acting" took effect in "GINO" and "Caprica" suits became the preferred choice of a wardrobe.....location shooting in contemporary locations took place.....and alien planets all looked like beautiful downtown (and low budget)...."Vancouver." And everyone looked like gangsters carrying tommy-guns.

Why didn't the SyFy Channel hire Rick Berman to helm their rendition of "Battlestar Galactica?" That would have gone straight to the source of success of "Star Trek: The Next Generation"....wouldn't it? Why didn't they hire Brannon Braga or Michael Pillar? More sources of that success. They even could have hired Patrick Stewart, Jonathon Frakes, Gates McFadden and LeVar Burton to direct some episodes. I guarantee you that between these men (and woman)...they would have come up with things for "Battlestar Galactica" alot more imaginative....innovative...and trailblazing than Ronald D. Moore and David Eick ever could. Instead....for some inexplicable reason.....SyFy Channel hired "25th man down on the totem pole" from the "Star Trek: The Next Generation" production staff (Ronald D. Moore.....mainly a scriptwriter) who never proved to anyone (during his "Star Trek" days) that he could achieve versatile success going solo....whether it be directing episodes of "Star Trek: The Next Generation"....or taking Rick Berman's place as executive producer while he was away on vacation.

"GINO" and "Caprica" (and no doubt "Blood & Chrome" will be....) have been the ultimate examples of what can happen when the ego of a moderately competent staff writer from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" (Ronald D. Moore) is endlessly fueled and stroked by guerrilla style stealth marketing....and blind fanatacism at the SyFy Channel. And the consequences this can take in the forms of "GINO" and "Caprica" turning out to be the crap television programs they turned out to be.