Thursday, September 29, 2011

If Universal Studios and SyFy Channel Ever Learn What Mass Market Entertainment is, Maybe We'll Get An Actual Revival of "Battlestar Galactica"

Of course, Universal Studios would first have to overcome its 33 year old embargo of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. Perhaps Universal Studios finally needs to be instructed as to why the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series was so popular and a success.

1. It appealed to every demographic group in the mass market spectrum. Parents felt comfortable watching the show with their kids. And this is because the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series was designed to do just that.

2. It made viewers feel good with uplifting references to the triumph of the human spirit over adversity.

3. It had dashing heroes you looked up to.

4. It had characters you admired and characters that loved one another in an extended family.

5. It had brilliant art direction, production design, and costume design. No retarded business suits anywhere.

6. Who didn't want Lorne Greene (Adama) as their dad?

7. Who didn't want to hook up with Maren Jensen, Laurette Spang, Anne Lockhart, and Jane Seymour?

8. Who didn't want Starbuck's charmed life?

9. Who didn't want to be as level headed as Apollo in the face of danger?

10. In short, the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series had cast members and the characters they played instantly likable in many different ways.

This is mass market entertainment, Universal Studios / SyFy Channel. (And it's how you make shit-loads of money.) You don't make shit-loads of money with that strange ass shit you and Ronald D. Moore came up with for incarcerated manic-depressives.

Get used to it and deal with it. It's how our economic system works.

"GINO" and "Caprica" Were Supposed to Make Ronald D. Moore King of The World So..."What Happened and Where is He?"

Remember this mug shot of Ronald D. Moore from the early 2000s? It came out about the same time as his disastrous "GINO" (Galactica in Name Only) series. No doubt it was supposed to signify that Ronald D. Moore was a real tough guy and bad ass in the midst of ram-rodding and railroading his "GINO" series on the air (with SyFy Channel's help) despite the fact of "GINO's" lowest audience test scores in audience history, and the fact that there was no place for his "GINO" series in any mass market environment. Coincidentally, he sort of had the same frown in this photo that Edward James Olmos always flashed throughout the entire, inexplicable four year run of "GINO." Evidently, at the time it was "in vogue" to be frowning all of the time in publicity photos, and for cast members to be frowning in the series you were the executive producer of.

So, what happened to this Ronald D. Moore circa 2003-2004 who was supposedly poised to become the next media titan ala' James Cameron and George Lucas via his piss-pot little "GINO" series on the Sci-Fi Channel? What the Sci-Fi Channel never got, and what Ronald D. Moore never got, is that Ronald D. Moore is not a mass market palatable television producer or scriptwriter. He doesn't have it in him to please mass market audiences filled with women and children. It has always started out with Ronald D. Moore being his own worst enemy, in that he has always suffered from the erroneous belief that a television series designed to make mass market television audiences happy aren't profitable in the 21st Century. He then always proceeded to crank out his gloomy and undiagnosed bi-polar alternatives to happy television programming (GINO, Caprica) which always drove away mass market television audiences.

Ronald D. Moore's personal belief system is what did him in as a television producer. His erroneous belief that the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series couldn't be brought back in an upbeat and optimistic manner for 21st Century television audiences. What Ronald D. Moore and the Sci-Fi Channel of the 2000s never got, is that the psychological makeup of television audiences never change whether it's the 20th Century or the 21st Century. They never change because people as a species never change. People will always want to be uplifted, and be made to feel good with upbeat television programming and upbeat movies. This is what did in Ronald D. Moore as a television producer, and it's also what did in Bonnie Hammer's Sci-Fi Channel.

There will always be a market for the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" television series coming back, because the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" television series made mass market audiences feel good. The series made mass market audiences feel good with heroism, attractive characters, a strong sense of loving family among all of the characters. 21st Century audiences are no different in that they want the same thing from a "Battlestar Galactica" television series. And they want the same thing because mass market audiences don't change psychologically from century to century.

This is what is left of the mighty Ronald D. Moore circa 2003-2004.

An itty-bitty blog that hasn't been updated in two years.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

As David Letterman Circa 1985 Would Say..."My Oh My!!"

quote - "There just isn't any demand for the original Galactica, or the newest incarnation (as a movie) either.
If anyone says there is, then this forum which has 235,274 members wouldn't have just 69 active members.
TOS had quite a good name before the new series started, I don't think four million and something people would have bothered to watch the mini-series if it hadn't had a decent rep.

Universal (with the help of stealth marketers, hostile fan groups and their own TV producers) destroyed the original to build up the remake.

I've never seen a studio deliberately destroy its own IP.
Amazing." - unquote

No matter how much time passes, the truth always comes out sooner or later. Isn't that right, Peter Noble?

How Much Longer is Universal Studios Going to Be a "Corrupt Republican House of Representatives" Blocking Anything Beneficial For The "1978 Battlestar Galactica" Series?

Universal Studios has been a "Corrupt Republican House of Representatives" towards the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series for the past 33 every sense of the word haven't they? Not even taking into account endless press release after another announcing a new Galactica film every couple of years (the latest being February 2009)...they have spent 33 years blocking and derailing any sort of common sense decision that might prove beneficial to the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. I have every reason to believe that the corporate infrastructure at Universal Studios keeping the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series dead for this long is structured identically to the current Republican Party in that Universal Studios has its old guard management still in place who have always hated the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series since 1979, and they also have their far right, lunatic "Tea Party-esque" management members who have always hated the 1978 series even more.

In short, present corporate management at Universal Studios can be lumped together with the present Republican Party in that both entities are severely broken and dysfunctional. Personal bias is never supposed to enter the daily decision making process of any corporation, (of course I'm harking back to the good old days of adulthood in the Corporate America of the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s.)...but Universal Studios has repeatedly proven that nothing but personal bias will govern how they keep the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series under lock and key for as long as they continue to unjustifiably own the property. Universal Studios has been managed by nothing but corporate adolescents since 1979, and there is no sign that this juvenilism will ever let up.

Universal Studios has already long since proven that they couldn't handle the adult task of bringing the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series to the big screen, and I also have no doubt in my mind that they couldn't handle the adult task of upgrading the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series with modern visual effects capabilities and an honest to God digital clean up of the original negatives. They're contented with "Blu-Raying the Bajeebies" out of Ronald D. Moore's crap which ultimately ends up getting marked down 65% (routinely) on because can't sell Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Galactica" in sufficient numbers for the life of them.

The past 33 years have proven that the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series is not going to go away just because Universal Studios has always wanted it to. What can go away however (with Comcast's help) is the present and past management at Universal Studios that has always kept the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series down.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

SyFy Channel is The Laziest Cable Channel on Earth

How hard was it for the SyFy Channel to get their hands on a copy of "Devil's Advocate" scheduled to be broadcast tonight? How hard did they try? Did they buy a used or new copy on Or did they buy a used or new copy from "F.Y.E." video stores?

It's becoming increasingly apparent that as the SyFy Channel continues to de-evolve into the cheapo operation it was destined to become under the assured hands of Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern, that anything not originally produced by them is easy as hell (no pun intended) to get their hands on. Such as "Hostel 2" and "Devil's Advocate." A 14 year old adolescent could easily emulate the lazy programming habits of the SyFy Channel be merely finding any of these cheapo movies to watch on-line. And they could watch them on-line without the commercial breaks and God-awful bumpers on the SyFy Channel.

I think the SyFy Channel has finally figured out for themselves that the more sleazy and in poor taste a movie is (Hostel 2, Devil's Advocate)...the easier it is for them to get their hands on it for eventual broadcast. And no doubt these movies are cheap as hell for the SyFy Channel to purchase.

SyFy Channel has become an ambiguous...sleazoid cable channel because the abundance of sleaze (Hostel 2, Devil's Advocate) out there is like a giant candy store for Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern.
Crap is readily available for them to schedule for broadcast on the SyFy Channel in record time. If the SyFy Channel had a more challenging on-air persona to deal with...such as having an actual, discernable identity such as an honest to gosh Science Fiction identity...Hammer, Howe, and Stern wouldn't be able to deal with it because such an identity would require cerebral intellectualism in the programming department.

This is the laborious, mighty plan Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern had in mind for the SyFy Channel all along...

A lazy, junk food cable channel

Monday, September 26, 2011

Can We Look Forward to "Blood & Chrome" Getting Further Downgrades?

Don't stop on my account, SyFy Channel. By all means, keep downgrading "Blood & Chrome" to further manifestations of insignificance. Let's see now, we're at the Webisode phase right now. Why don't we keep proceeding with the downgrade process? It would be perfectly fine with me if "Blood & Chrome" were downgraded to a radio drama...a series of paperback novels...a jigsaw puzzle...a slinky.

I guess the main problem the SyFy Channel (and when it was still called Sci-Fi Channel) has always had with its various stabs at the "Battlestar Galactica" property, is that no one was ever with them. The marketplace was never with them. The general public was never with them. The fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series was never with them. No one liked what they were doing. So now, a would be audience and fanbase that the SyFy Channel failed to create with "Caprica" and "GINO" (Galactica in Name Only) still doesn't exist for a $4.6 million movie called "Blood & Chrome." By all means SyFy Channel, cut the "Blood & Chrome" movie up into little webisodes, or just abandon the project entirely for everyone's sake. No one will miss it because no one exists who would like it.

Of course, as far back as the "GINO" miniseries in 2003, there were already warning signs that this project was simply not going to go over with the general public, and not be a marketable comodity. The fact that the "GINO" miniseries received the lowest audience test scores in history. The fact that the miniseries was a blatant contradiction to what the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" fanbase wanted. The fact that the miniseries was being cranked out by a neophyte executive producer (Ronald D. Moore). The fact that poor judgment was rampant in every area of production.

1. Casting - Edward James Olmos is a terrible actor.

2. Wardrobe - Business suits in a galaxy thousands of light years from Earth that never heard of Earth? Let's not expend any energy or imagination in costume design now.

3. Frowning - Led by Edward James Olmos, frowning is shorthand for actors who really can't act. It's the easy way out. The entire cast took the easy way out.

In "GINO" and "Caprica" (and no doubt "Blood & Chrome"), objective cool heads were not dictating the decision making process. The far right and biased insanity of Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel was. Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel need to have their ideas run through, screened, and evaluated by a committee to determine their mass market attractiveness, feasibility, and general common sense. Comcast should never allow them to work together autonomously...ever again. Because their ideas always need to be screened by a corporate parent for...eccentric weirdness and compatibility with mass market requirements.

With any luck "Blood & Chrome" is already D.O.A. so it won't have to be evaluated.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

A Reputable DVD Review Site Raked Universal Studios Over The Coals For Their Sub-Standard Release of Battlestar Galactica on DVD in 2003

And to think...this is the same DVD set still in circulation today while Ronald D. Moore's "Galactica in Name Only" nonsense gets the Blu-Ray treatment. Maybe this is yet another injustice at Universal Studios that Comcast will soon deem as being..."unacceptable to their overall corporate picture."

Universal Studios has been alot like the Republican Party for years in that the toxic nonsense they have always practiced is not going unnoticed. (Specifically, the toxic nonsense they have always practiced on the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series.) It's being noticed by the general public.

And I have a feeling...that when Comcast completely settles into its new digs and begins taking hard looks at Universal Studios and SyFy Channel, they will find it completely unacceptable when blatant flaws in how both of their subsidiaries do business are being repeatedly noticed by the general public. It will be then that Comcast takes a gigantic scrub brush and soap suds to both of their new subsidiaries.

Friday, September 23, 2011

If NBC-Universal Were a Normal Corporation (Artsy), Considerable Repair Work Could Be Done to "Saga of a Star World"

Yes, I know. It's wishful thinking to even contemplate that the same dysfunctional corporation (NBC-Universal) which released "Saga of a Star World" on DVD in 2003 as part of the "Galactica - Complete Epic Series DVD Set"...with more snowy grain (in some scenes) than a poor UHF broadcast from the 1970s would turn around and give the pilot episode of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series any sort of royalty treatment a decade later.

The fact of the matter is, "Saga of a Star World" is alot better than even its most serious fans give it credit for. Judging from the deleted scenes in the "Complete Epic Series DVD Set", "Saga of a Star World" would have been a bit darker and even more adult (but not in a Ronald D. Moore bad sort of way, going overboard with psychoses) than what was originally broadcast on September 17th, 1978.

As a fan of this show and its pilot episode, I still consider "Saga of a Star World" an unfinished piece of work (brilliance) 33 years later. Some of Richard A. Colla's original footage he shot may be gone forever (due to Universal Studios notorious mismanagement of this series spanning 33 years.) Scenes are still missing, and what miraculously did show up on the DVD set in 2003 (in the deleted scenes section) indicates that scenes originally shot by Richard A. Colla were far superior to the replacement scenes shot mandated by ABC-TV and Glen A. Larson.

1. Apollo and Boxey discussing the origins of the Cylons in the Landram:

As directed and shot by Richard A. Colla, the scene was better written and better acted by Richard Hatch, Noah Hathaway, and Jane Seymour. Kudos to a very young Noah Hathaway making Boxey come across as a genuinely shell shocked little boy with a very gloomy outlook on life. Complete with the killer line..."People can die at any age, can't they?" The replacement scene mandated by ABC-TV and Glen A. Larson made Boxey come across as a jovial little sibling (complete with an ultra-brite smile) of "Eight is Enough." Yes, this replacement scene sucks ass.

2. Baltar gets his head lopped off:

Scary, intense, and a brilliant flow to the next scene of a Viper racing across the surface of "Carillon." ABC-TV and Glen A. Larson mandated this scene couldn't survive into the final print as well. This time around however, they didn't even bother to re-shoot it. They just threw in some clumsy editing to remove Baltar's beheading...which led to an extremely awkard flow to the next scene on "Carillon."

3. Zac begs Starbuck to take his place on patrol

ABC-TV and Glen A. Larson apparently found the lines..."What possible danger could there be?" and "upset stomach...too many cigars" objectionable to audiences. Yet they kept the entire scenes intact where the bridge crew of the Battlestar Atlantia is annihilated in flames?? As well as Zac's demise in a fire ball?? As well as the destruction of an entire city???

What if NBC-Universal were a normal and sane corporation? What if they had an artistic bent and an appreciation for "Saga of a Star World?" What if they authorized a thorough editing repair job, original negative clean up and visual effects upgrade to "Saga of a Star World?"

What would I do if I were in charge of the entire project?

1. Following the entire original shooting script to the letter, re-insert every single scene Richard A. Colla directed and get rid of all of the crap replacement scenes mandated by ABC-TV and Glen A. Larson. If some of these scenes are gone forever due to Universal Studios notorious mismanagement, reshoot them with CGI and / or voice over work with the surviving cast members. With sound alike voice over actors doing Lorne Greene and John Colicos.

2. Following the entire original shooting script, re-shoot all original scenes and shoot new original scenes with the Ovions using CGI technology. You could build an entire missing sub-plot (with CGI) involving the Ovion Queen and her involvement with the Cylons on the planet surface, and her involvement with the missing humans from the casino. Keep the Cylons real by shooting new scenes of the Cylons (actors in costume) on the surface of Carillon conversing with the Ovion Queen and her minions.

3. Following the entire original shooting script, re-shoot all intended scenes with the Imperious Leader using CGI technology. Complete with him sitting on top of his podium and pointing down at the Cylon Centurions as he gives the order..."Let the attack begin."

4. Remove the explosion at the end of "Saga of a Star World" showing "Carillon" blowing up. Let's face it. "Carillon" blowing up looks like a cartoon explosion in a Road Runner cartoon. Stick to the original script of the fleet warping out of orbit at the end of the movie. Don't even show an explosion. Just have voice over actors stating new dialogue in comm chatter that..."Yep, it blew up" the fleet comes out of hyper space. The Ovion Queen and her minions would escape from Carillon and join the Cylons in their eradication of the humans.

5. Re-do most if not all of the visual effects in the movie with CGI. But make the CGI look like 1978 motion control technology without the limitations. Think to yourself, "What would John Dykstra have done back in 1978 if he had the extra "ooomphh" of CGI? He would have designed the shots in the same way (with his usual flair) plus he would have designed some extra shots since he wouldn't have had to resort to stock footage as he did in "Saga of a Star World."

6. The epilogue at the end of the movie inexplicably shows a new Imperious Leader offering peace to the humans after the colonies had already been wiped out a short time ago. Either remove the scene entirely or shoot a new scene reversing the intent of the new Imperious Leader. That he wants to beef up his hunt for the escaping Rag Tag Fleet.

7. Use this process of shooting new scenes with the Ovions and Cylons (complete with the Ovion Queen on the Cylon Basestar conversing with the Imperious Leader) to make "Battlestar Galactica 1978" an originally intended 7 hour mini series.

8. "Lost Planet of the Gods" would be radically revamped and re-edited to immediately pick up where "Saga of a Star World" left off. The first scene (new footage) would be of the Imperious Leader and the Ovion Queen discussing their desire to infect Viper pilots with a virus. They would lead the fleet to the virus by luring them to an asteroid. Such silly scenes as Apollo and Starbuck talking about velcron curtains would be deleted. As would the other silly scenes of Starbuck admitting jealousy towards Apollo's marriage, and the female Viper pilots talking like nonsensical, daffy women. An entire new episode would be constructed with a discernable beginning, middle, and end. With extra footage shot of new actors as Colonial Warriors, and new footage on Kobol. Perhaps even encountering a creature of some sort in the tombs.

9. "Gun on Ice Planet Zero" would pick up where "Lost Planet of the Gods" left off. With the Imperious Leader and the Ovion Queen wanting to lead the fleet into the path of a pulsar cannon. After their attempts to infect the fleet with a deadly virus in the previous episode failed. In the previous episode, extra footage would be shot explaining how the virus failed to kill the Viper pilots.

These new versions of the episodes would reinforce the fact that the Imperious Leader and the Ovions are the head bad guys in "Galactica"...not Baltar. And that the virus and the pulsar cannon were masterminded by both of them conversing in the Imperious Leader's chambers.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

"Battlestar Galactica" Has Always Separated The Men From The Boys And The Women From The Girls At Universal Studios And SyFy Channel

Will the adults in the room at NBC-Universal, Universal Studios, and SyFy Channel please stand up? Silence, silence, crickets chirping. Yes, the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series has unfortunately lacked a vital component during the past 33 years of its present owners unfortunately owning it. Adults in the room to revive it. Yes, there are other reasons why Universal Studios has not revived the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series during the past 33 years:

1. Some unfinished political business with George Lucas.

2. Their hatred of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series in general.

3. Their stunning lack of imagination as a corporation when it would come to picking up where the final episode of "Battlestar Galactica" left off..."The Hand of God."

4. Their corporate malice towards the fanbase of the "Battlestar Galactica" fanbase during the past 33 years.

5. Their total and absolute unsuitability in being the corporate owners of the "Battlestar Galactica" copyright during the past 33 years.

When you boil it all down however, the essence you are left with is the sad fact that there never has been and never shall be...adults in the room at Universal Studios....capable of reviving the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. Yes, Universal Studios (and SyFy Channel) executives have lacked the most important pre-requisite characteristic there is necessary to have revived "The 1978 Battlestar Galactica" series during the past 33 years...


Yes...adulthood...and emotional maturity.

It would take adulthood and emotional maturity to bring back the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. What have we seen from Universal Studios during the past 33 years instead? Endless inertia and endless procrastination. Translation: Endless juvenile behavior from Universal Studios executives spanning 33 years. What have we seen from SyFy Channel executives for the longest time as they always thrown in their two cents into the "anti-Galactica Conspiracy" at Universal Studios? Their endless juvenile and adolescent nonsense involving Ronald D. Moore.

This is a corporation not run by adults. This was and always has been a corporation run by school yard juvenile punks sticking their tongues out at the fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series...while hanging upside down from the monkey bars. Yes, Universal Studios executives has always known that we exist (the fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series)...which is why they have always doubled down in the school yard trenches...and pooped in their diapers since 1978.

We will indeed see in the summer of 2012 if there were any adults in the room (suddenly hired) at Universal Studios that greenlit the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series in order to compete with J.J. Abrams "Star Trek 2."

If not...those who own stock in "Huggies Diapers" will continue to see their fortunes rise.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Let's Give Ronald D. Moore And SyFy Channel One Final Round of Applause

Wishful thinking is prompting me to think that because the God awful "Blood & Chrome" pilot movie is apparently dead in the water, the curtain may also be coming down on the entire Ronald D. Moore - SyFy Channel partnership that lasted half a decade too long. Yes, Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel deserve one final round of applause. A round of applause signifying the long overdue end to the most disastrous, untalented, mean spirited, self indulgent (for Moore & SyFy Channel), contemptuous disregard for the "Battlestar Galactica" source material, and collossal waste of time...of a television programming partnership in the history of broadcasting.

Did I also mention that everything Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel did together was boring as hell? Their programming was boring has hell because they did television programming for all of the wrong reasons. They cranked out their trilogy of embarrassment ("GINO", "Caprica", and "Blood & Chrome") not because of any desire to entertain the television viewing audience, but to rather preserve the longevity of the "Battlestar Galactica" copyright in the hands of NBC-Universal. They preserved the copyright with trashy television programming so they could park their corporate ass on top of the "Battlestar Galactica" copyright in order to spend another 30 years not doing anything constructive with it. And everyone in the industry and outside of NBC-Universal wondered why "GINO" proceeded on ahead as a mini series and eventual 4 year low rated series despite the lowest audience test scores in television history for the "GINO" (Galactica in Name Only) mini series.

Did everyone miss the obvious nuts and bolts within the Ronald D. Moore / SyFy Channel partnership? That all of Moore's "Galactica" named series were obviously one gigantic favor done for him by the SyFy Channel? That no matter how untalented Ronald D. Moore was / is as a television producer and scriptwriter, that he was going to get his inexplicable air time on the former Sci-Fi Channel anyway.

Did everyone miss the other obvious nuts and bolts within the Ronald D. Moore / SyFy Channel as well? Even discernable and viewable from the distant vantage point of the public domain? That it was a relationship corporate as hell and political as hell? Even to the point of Bonnie Hammer making permanent, self damaging statements as..."The fans can't drive the creative process." And Ronald D. Moore making such permanent, self damaging statements as..."television series aren't made based upon poll data from a fanbase." (I'm sure Comcast would love to hear about that one.)

What did Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel do instead? They made two television series ("GINO", "Caprica") that the public hated, and almost broadcast a God awful television movie ("Blood & Chrome") the public was also destined to hate. And all of these productions were based upon the initial "GINO" mini series back in 2003 which received the lowest audience test scores in television history. The implication being, that the only way NBC-Universal and SyFy Channel could achieve their various...internal corporate agendas in the decade of the 2000s...was to get the public to hate their television programming.

There were other things that made the partnership of Ronald D. Moore and SyFy Channel a serious liability to the very notion of televised entertainment. Ronald D. Moore possessed no mass market or creative instincts whatsoever. Neither did  the SyFy Channel. Neither one of them had their fingers on the pulse of what cable audiences wanted to see. Neither one of them were schooled in the art of good drama and even comedy. Neither one of them had a theatrical and / or artsy background whatsoever. And both of them had an absolute contempt for the fanbase of the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series.

Let the curtain come down on the Ronald D. Moore / SyFy Channel partnership once and for all.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Oh Goody. In It's Quest For Marginal Ratings At The Very Least, SyFy Channel Is Now Broadcasting "Hostel Part 2"

Let's see now. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern have failed at everything else they have tried to do at the SyFy Channel. They failed at re-imagining "Battlestar Galactica" for the 21st Century. They have failed at making weekly monster movies anyone would take seriously. They have failed at branding the SyFy Channel with a discernable...on-air identity of any sort. They have put such garbage on the air as WWF Wrestling and a weekly cooking show. What's left for Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern to do in order to try and drum up advertising revenue for the SyFy Channel...when everything else they have done has failed?

Well...they might as well try the "Torture Porn" scene as made notoriously known by Eli Roth. The broadcast of "Hostel 2" on the SyFy Channel tonight proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that this cable network is not only run by psychotic imbeciles totally devoid of morality, but it is also a cable network so hungry for advertising revenue that they are now resorting to the disturbing freak show of human torture to try and drum up advertising revenue. I'm assuming (and this is a real long shot) that Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern have loved ones that they come home to every night after their usual work day of decimating the SyFy Channel with their collective...patented bad taste in television programming. Perhaps they come home to spouses...nieces...nephews....brothers....sisters....parents...their own children. They come home and face these loved ones of theirs after putting such vile trash on the air as..."Hostel Part 2." This movie immediately places Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern in the disturbing category of..."being unworthy to be in the same room as their loved ones."

The thing I can't figure out is...why did the SyFy Channel even bother to purchase "Hostel Part 2" for broadcast when the entire global population can just watch the movie in its entirety on Without commercial breaks and those majestically irritating SyFy Channel promos and bumpers.

The broadcast of "Hostel Part 2" also proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that as far as cable networks go, the SyFy Channel is as thoroughly broken and as thoroughly dysfunctional as a cable network can get. It is humanly impossible for any cable network to get anymore broken and dysfunctional as the SyFy Channel has become. I beg Comcast to take a corporate wrecking ball to the SyFy Channel right away, and immediately serve Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern their pink slips and walking papers. Gut this thoroughly useless and disgusting cable channel once and for all.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, And Mark Stern Haven't Remade This Yet?

Well, why not? It's the worst movie ever made...sweeping all categories in terms of its overall badness. It's badly produced, badly written, and badly directed with rock bottom production values. Exactly the sort of movie that would be right up the SyFy Channel's alley...and a perfect candidate for their roster of originally produced, God awful monster movies.

The scary thing is....Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern would view a remake of this movie as the perfect instrument for advancing their incoherent and nonsensical...overall marketing agenda.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

This Is More Entertaining Than Anything On The SyFy Channel's Schedule

Need I say more?

If There Is One Music Video That Perfectly Sums Up The Insanity Of The SyFy Channel, This Is It

Need I say more?

Have You Ever Noticed That Every Single Time Things Don't Go Well For The SyFy Channel And Ronald D. Moore (Often), They Become Really Quiet And Retreat Into Their Usual Obscure Mode?

I would have to say that for a good year, things haven't been going well for SyFy Channel and Ronald D. Moore. SyFy Channel has been cancelling television series by the truck load to make room for more raunchy, reality programming they seem to think will branch them off into side businesses involving retail. It hasn't happened after two years but they apparently never stop hoping. Ronald D. Moore's new gig at Sony (whether this gig is still going on is anyone's guess) has predictably turned into a giant snooze fest due to his first project with them (17th Precinct) ultimately never seeing the light of day and anything else that may come from Ronald D. Moore will also become one giant snooze fest.

Have you ever noticed that every single time SyFy Channel and / or Ronald D. Moore suffer a setback of some sort, they become really...really....quiet...about it and you don't hear from them again for a good eight months?

1. "Blood & Chrome" is apparently heading back to its original....modest destination of being a web series instead of a full blown television series. The official word is that Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern didn't like what they saw when they viewed a rought cut of the movie. I think it's more likely that the bosses (Comcast) of Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern viewed a rough cut of the "Blood & Chrome" movie...and didn't like what they saw. Time is passing and "Blood & Chrome" is being mentioned less and less by everyone. By coincidence...the SyFy Channel has become really...really quiet about this matter which leads me to believe....that "Blood & Chrome" is dead on arrival.

2. Ronald D. Moore's "17th Precinct" was supposed to be the...Big Event...of the fall 2011 television season. Moore's triumphant return to television after his stealth marketing manufactured success at the Sci-Fi Channel. Fortunately for all of us...Comcast stepped in and let the helium out of the balloon. Ronald D. Moore has become really...really quiet after the premature ejaculation..."excuse me"...the premature cancellation of "17th Precinct."

3. "Caprica" was another inexplicable darling of the SyFy Channel along side Ronald D. Moore's "Galactica in Name Only" series. So much so that either David Howe or Mark Stern said (I get the two of them Starsky & Hutch) that..."he was in it for the long haul" with "Caprica." Meaning...neither rain nor sleet nor the SyFy Channel's daily companion of low ratings would keep "Caprica" off the air. Yep..they cancelled it alright (they shagged it really good!!)...and they became really really quiet afterwards.

Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, Mark Stern, and Ronald D. Moore were last seen... "tippy toeing" their way through the dark shadows of career embarrassment not too long ago. Perhaps boarding a plane to Reno with one way tickets.

I...have predictions for the four of them...Their horoscopes if you will...

1. Ronald D. Moore is going to pop up again a couple of years from now involved in a new project. But he won't be the creator or executive producer of this project. He will be working....for....the creator or executive producer of this project. As an associate producer or a staff writer. Of course...he will be really, really quiet about the step down in authority.

2. Bonnie Hammer will head back to PBS. Not as the president of Public Television, but as a public relations representative for Sesame Street. She will be really, really quiet about it.

3. David Howe is going to get into drag racing. We may see him and his....pit crew....occasonally on ESPN. He will be really, really quiet about it until the ESPN cameras spot him and zoom in on him...frequently.

4. Mark Stern is going to become America's favorite game show host. Think David Lee Roth in the "Hot For Teacher" video.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

SyFy Channel: Home of The Artistically Famished, The Creatively Deficient, and The Status Quo Predictable

Contrary to what Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern would like to believe...the SyFy Channel is a cable network going absolutely nowhere in terms of daily job performance, brand name recognition, evolution of any sort, or progress of any sort. The SyFy Channel has gone absolutely nowhere since its name change to SyFy Channel two years ago, and it was a cable channel going nowhere long before that because Bonnie Hammer was primarily running it. Now that she is only partially running it along side David Howe and Mark Stern...the channel is still going nowhere. Going nowhere creatively..artistically...and evolutionary.

Perhaps the reason why is that despite all of the bold and grandiose dreams Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern always announce for the channel in interviews...they actually run the SyFy Channel like any other boring cable network is run such as MTV. With status as Grandma's home made apple pie...type television programming that never sets precedent....never comes within an arms distant reach of actual Science Fiction television programming.....never treads new ground...never explores new areas of thought...never breaks the cycle of television's bad (worst) habits such as reality programming....and programming that never draws favorable attention to the SyFy Channel. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern will never....ever....put television programming on the air....that is a pleasant surprise. Partially due to the fact that the three of them are intellectually incapable of doing so...and primarily due to the fact that the three of them are mere marketing executives (not actual television programmers) born and bred to nurse feed the status quo in programming decisions that are all too common and mundane.

More reality programming coming to the SyFy Channel? How boring!! How mundane!! How typical!! How status quo!! How expected it is for the SyFy Channel to always march lock, stock and barrel in alignment with what the rest of the television industry considers...status quo and safe. The SyFy Channel might as well be the safe as Grandma's apple pie MTV...where their miniscule viewership is never pleasantly surprised either by what they do.

More horror movies coming to the SyFy Channel? Horror movies are and have been a safe staple for Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. As cheap to produce as reality programming...the SyFy Channel's horror movies follow their inevitable path of existence of being universally hated by everyone...and then die a quiet death released on DVD in the $5.99 budget category. Producing these horror movies have became an all too typical habit of Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. Like chain smoking, 4:00 pm martini lunches, and the daily commute to work.

There is no creativity or inspired thinking on the SyFy Channel because Bonnie Hammer, David Howe and Mark Stern are status quo marketing people. These type of people like to play it safe because it allows them to wing it through their jobs on psychological cruise control with their eyelids at half mast. The way they run the SyFy Channel doesn't require the flexing of intellectualism...any sort of deep thought....any sort of effort. They regard the SyFy Channel as a local department store requiring nothing more than the stocking of retail departments with mindless merchandise...and then trying to attract business. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern invest about 25% of their time thinking about what types of programming to put on the SyFy Channel, and then invest 75% of their time trying to attract various demographic groups to their sub-standard (25% invested) television programming. Maybe if they put good...quality....television programming on the SyFy Channel in the first place...they wouldn't have to bust their asses all of the time in flawed marketing theories trying to hunt down demographic groups to watch their damn channel.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Has The Economy Hit The SyFy Channel Yet? Comcast May Want To Pull The SyFy Channel Out Of Vancouver

I wonder if Comcast subscribes to the philosophy that..."all good things must come to an end." Certainly in the case of Bonnie Hammer's decade old....underwhelming...television operation in Vancouver...these may be words worth implementing. Comcast has every right in the world to begin doing some number crunching since they own over 50% of the SyFy Channel...and why shouldn't they begin that number crunching by shutting down the SyFy Channel's television program manufacturing racket in Vancouver? Where such television gems as "Marcel's Quantum Kitchen"...."Fact or Faked?"....."WWF Wrestling"...."Saturday Night Monster Movies"....and "Scare Tactics"....are put on film for some God unknown reason.

Does Comcast want to save money? They can begin by shutting down (entirely) this fruitless television endeavor in Vancouver. Television programming no one wants to see and has never wanted to see..(Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica", "Caprica", and "Blood & Chrome.")

A media corporation never went broke underestimating the unpopularity of the television programming one of its subsidiaries makes....such as the SyFy Channel. Comcast should take this as a hint and admit to themselves what they unfortunately now own in the form of the SyFy Channel, and the kind of schlock the SyFy Channel routinely manufactures. The SyFy Channel has blown an awful lot of money in Vancouver during the past decade making television programming no one wants to see...including their embarrassing take on "Flash Gordon" and that incoherent mess called "Tin Man." order for bad television programming to cease being made...the plug has to be pulled on the entire operation by the higher ups...because the middle ups such as Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern simply don't know when to quit. They will have to be told when to Comcast. This is the only way...this virus of bad taste known as the SyFy Channel will cease to exist.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Comcast Needs to Gut The SyFy Channel. The Unanimous Criticizing of It Is Increasing

There hasn't been one legitimately written and published article (from reputable sources) praising the SyFy Channel. Not one. All legitimate articles written outside of the realm and reach of the SyFy Channel's dishonest stealth marketing have trashed the channel and its practices. The legitimate opinions are unanimous. No one likes the SyFy Channel and no one likes what the SyFy Channel is doing.

With such unanimous disapproval coming from just about everyone, it is time for Comcast to do something drastic with this channel. It needs to be demolished...gutted....and turned into something more profitable for Comcast. Comcast also needs to end of the practice of having marketing people working at the channel (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern) poorly disguised as television programmers who merely skate from day to day not doing anything constructive for the channel. If Comcast were to gut the present SyFy Channel and eventually turn it back into a legitimate Science Fiction channel...their first priority would need to be to hire legitimate television programmers who have a genuine love for legitimate Science Fiction television programming.

Past history has taught us that hiring marketing people (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern) masquerading as legitimate television programmers to manage what is supposed to be a Science Fiction channel...yet is not one because the three of them have a personal hatred of Science Fiction television programming is a.... "lose-lose".... situation for everyone. It's a...."lose-lose"....situation for the television viewing public...for the corporate owners of the SyFy Channel...and for the proud heritage of televised Science Fiction dating back a good 50 years. When the managers of a cable channel have a personal vendetta against televised Science isn't their place to force their personal hatred of the genre upon the television viewing public with garbage programming to replace it.

Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. Who the hell are these people anyway? And how & why did they end up within the vicinity of a cable network that is supposed to be Science Fiction when they hate Science Fiction television programming so much? Oh yes. And they had such better plans for this cable channel that is supposed to be Science Fiction...didn't they?

1. Marcel's Quantum Kitchen? - Utter crap.
2. Monster movies? - Utter crap
3. Fact or Faked? - Utter crap
4. Scare Tactics? - Utter crap
5. Wrestling? - Utter crap

The practice in the television industry of hiring marketing people to come within the vicinity of televised Science Fiction...yet these marketing people hate televised Science Fiction...and then proceed to gut such programming with garbage replacements of their own...needs to come to an end right now. It is my hope that Comcast will be the first to put to an end this unfortunate practice once and for all. In the process of doing Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern....their walking papers once and for all.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

26 Months Later, The Name Change to SyFy Channel Has Done Absolutely Nothing For The Network

In July 2009, the..."cough" geniuses at the Sci-Fi Channel (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern) decided to change the name of this cable network they had already long since the SyFy Channel. Back then...everyone thought it was a stupid idea. Back then, everyone knew that nothing whatsoever would come from the name change in terms of good news for Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. Back then, everyone knew that the Sci-Fi Channel's endless problems were not related to how the name of the channel was spelled...but how the channel was being managed by Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. Finally...back then....everyone knew that no branch industries of any sort would pop up from out of nowhere as a result of the name change to....SyFy Channel.

26 months later, what everyone knew back in 2009 has now manifested. Nothing whatsoever has come from the name change in terms of good news for Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. The name change to SyFy Channel did not wipe away any of the problems this channel has, because the channel's problems continue to be caused by Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. Finally....No branch industries have sprouted from the SyFy Channel. Certainly not the sort of ones that would make a wimper on Wall Street. If any sort of industries have sprouted...they're being so so quiet that no in the world knows that they even exist.

Nothing eclipse related.....comet related.....or any sort of dream coming true on the order of Justin Beiber leaving show business for good....has happened as a result of the name change to SyFy Channel. The channel remains what it was before the name change two years ago....Boring as hell and badly managed.

Friday, September 9, 2011

About The Only Thing That Can Be Said About Maury Povich, is That At Least NBC-Universal Loves Him. Lord Knows Nobody Else Does

NBC-Universal is notoriously known for developing corporate affections for would be celebrities who really aren't celebrities (Maury Povich, Ronald D. Moore) and the garbage television programming they usually supply.

I guess the best way to put into context NBC-Universal's unwillingness to revive the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" to look at NBC-Universal itself and conclude what sort of corporation it is. This copyright owner of "Battlestar Galactica" loves garbage television programming such as Maury Povich, and all of the schlock programming currently being broadcast on the SyFy Channel. Is it any wonder why such a corporation repeatedly fails to see the endless commercial and franchise opportunities ever present in the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series? A series imagination and inspired thinking based?

Instead of bringing back the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series in its original form, NBC-Universal has always been locked in the mindset of putting trash television on the air such as Maury Povich. Ahhh yes!! The trash daytime talk show format. Where a talk show host such as Maury Povich (actually a ringmaster in a big top circus) presides over scripted melodrama and conflict....acted out by professional actors and actresses playing the roles of his trailer park trash guests. Complete with camera blocking mapped out all in advance to accomodate the staged fist fights.

Is it any wonder why the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series has never been revived being owned by a trashy corporation such as this?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Fine Art of Being Inconsequential as Taught By Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern

It's a rare gift I suppose to reduce the once great Sci-Fi Channel of the 1990s to what it is today...A smoldering pile of inconsequentiality. From what I can gather...Bonnie Hammer,David Howe, and Mark Stern achieved this by adhering to the following...

1. Repeating ad infinitum their collective hatred of Science Fiction television programming.

2. Repeating ad infinitum their rotten plans for the Sci-Fi Channel before it became the SyFy Channel.

3. Going to work everyday suffering from the delusion that they were doing a good job.

4. Cancelling all of the great programs on the former Sci-Fi Channel.

5. Putting utter garbage on in its place.

6. Thinking that a cable channel (SyFy Channel) could lack a discernable, on-air identity.

7. Thinking that temporary...slipshod identities (It's a wrestling network today!!) are acceptable alternatives to a permanent on-air identity.

8. Thinking that there is something cute or hip in originally produced, badly made monster movies.

9. Putting a cooking show on what is still supposed to be (regardless of what Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern say) a Science Fiction Network.

10. Having a decade long, (thoroughly inexplicable) corporate love affair with Ronald D. Moore.

11. Believing that the underwhelming performance of the SyFy Channel at the hands of Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern would somehow lead to spectacular retail and marketing opportunities.

12. Implementing and aiming guerrilla style stealth marketing campaigns directly at the throats of the general public. Imagine that!! A cable channel and its stealth marketing minions ("Abraham & Harrison") arguing with the general public on Internet bulletin boards. Could this be why NBC-Universal's Sci-Fi Channel has never been successful? They drove away the general public due to say......guerrilla style stealth marketing throughout the decade of the 2000s?

13. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern individually giving interviews over the years which left no doubt in anyone's mind that the three of them were actually third rate marketing people and not legitimate television programmers. No one could figure out if the three of them were working for a cable network or a "Sears Roebuck Retail Outlet." One thing is absolutely certain. They want to fold up the SyFy Channel like a tent and sell it in "Sears."

14. Bonnie Hammer, David Hammer, and Mark Stern have thoroughly succeeded at one thing. They have made the SyFy Channel the one stop destination for their miniscule viewership always being in the mood to watch nothing in particular.

15. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern have thoroughly succeeded in making their television programming less entertaining than infomercials.

Remember the old game show from the 1970s called "$20,000 Pyramid?" It was hosted by Dick Clark. Let's play a round of "$20,000 Pyramid" right here...We're trying to name a specific cable network!!

Contestant #1: ...."Marcel's Quantum Kitchen"....."WWF Wrestling"....."Saturday Night Monster Movies" (trashy ones)...You don't want to watch anything in particular!!"

Contestant #2: "Beats the shit out of me!!"

If you want your television programming inconsequential, watch the SyFy Channel. If you want to watch a cable network you can't define, watch the SyFy Channel. If you want to watch television programming you won't remember having watched a day later, watch the SyFy Channel. If you want to watch television programming that routinely insults the intelligence of every demographic group known to man, and thus all of these demographic groups stay away from the SyFy the SyFy Channel. Finally, if you want to watch a cable channel on daily....daydream cruise the SyFy Channel.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The SyFy Channel Has Developed a Whole Slew of Enemies on Facebook

When the SyFy Channel's "Beer Nuts" turn into "Cotton Balls"....They'll be heading home to you....!/pages/SyFy-Sucks-wheres-the-SciFi/120928937974158

We love the SyFy Channel...we really do!! When we're in the mood to watch nothing in particular, we watch the SyFy Channel!! When we're in the mood to see Science Fiction done really...really badly...when the SyFy Channel bothers to do Science Fiction at all...we watch the SyFy Channel. When we're in the mood to watch monster movies so horribly produced, written, acted, and the extent that these movies make anything produced by Roger Corman in the 1950s and 1960s seem like Masterpiece Theater...we watch the SyFy Channel.

When we need a good laugh (mockery)...we watch the SyFy Channel. When we're in a bad mood and want to stay that way via the SyFy Channel's God awful programming...we watch the SyFy Channel. When we want to watch a cable channel run by a bunch of idiots....we watch the SyFy Channel. When we want to watch a cable channel managed by a bunch of erroneously hired marketing people instead of legitimate television programmers...we watch the SyFy Channel. When we're in the mood to watch a cable channel that repeatedly never reaches its dreams and goals as envisioned by Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern...we watch the SyFy Channel.

Finally...When we're in the mood to watch a cable channel we daily drop to our knees and pray to God will be put out of business by Comcast....very soon.....WE WATCH THE SYFY CHANNEL!!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Best Possible Filmmaking Circumstances Couldn't Keep Bryan Singer And Glen A. Larson Together

The best of filmmaking circumstances....unprecedented cooperation from all parties involved...the best of weather....and the power of gigantic electro-magnetic magnets....couldn't keep Bryan Singer and Glen A. Larson together to make a "1978 Battlestar Galactica" theatrical film. Bryan Singer and Glen A. Larson have earned the rare distinction (shame) of having a filmmaking partnership between the two of them announced as far back as 2001 (and after) in endless press releases...yet not delivering one project with both their names on it in a decade (and counting.) No power in this universe could keep these two idiots together on a project until the project's completion. Nothing...and I mean nothing...would get these two motivated to make and complete a "1978 Battlestar Galactica" theatrical film (not even J.J. Abrams "Star Trek 2" coming out next summer)...because they are of the same mindset as Universal Studios..."If Battlestar Galactica is on the backburner...let's keep pushing it further and further back on the backburner in favor of other projects."

J.J. Abrams "Star Trek 2" is indeed coming out next summer, and (as usual, as always)...the old guard of old farts at Universal Studios continue to not see the commercial potential of a "1978 Battlestar Galactica" theatrical film going up against "Star Trek 2" in a good old fashioned gladiator fight. Universal Studios continues to blow money on untried...iffy projects like "Cowboys and Aliens" instead of a sure thing like "1978 Battlestar Galactica", Glen A. Larson continues to not do what he was supposed to have been doing for the past 30 years (bringing back "1978 Battlestar Galactica") and as for Bryan Singer...well...after the disastrous"Superman Returns"...the less said about him the better.

The best barometer in existence today monitoring this..."cough".... supposed filmmaking partnership between Glen A. Larson and Bryan It is here that the supposed "1978 Galactica" theatrical film (supposedly being produced by Glen A. Larson and Bryan Singer) was downgraded from..."due out in 2011""?????".....

Maybe Glen A. Larson and Bryan Singer (together) could give the next commencement speech at any filmmaking school of their choosing?

But they haven't made any movies together or done any sort of work together!! EXACTLY!!

Bring on the graduate hecklers!!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern Are The "Sweathogs" of Cable Television

There needs to be a "Remedial Academics Program" for cable television executives who just aren't making it in their present professions. Of course I'm speaking of Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. In comparison to the vast majority of the other cable channels, the SyFy Channel is sort of the "Sweathog Channel" isn't it? The black sheep  if you will, of most of the other cable channels on the television landscape. The cable channel that always under performs ratings wise, and always fails to live up to the expectations of the general public when it comes to being a Science Fiction channel.

Let's just come right out and say it. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern are..."Sweathogs." Those television executives who repeatedly under perform as programmers of a television network. Those television executives who need to be placed in a..."Remedial Academics Program" of some sort in order to teach them how to run their cable channel, and teach them what their cable channel is supposed to be. Television executives who need to be taught how to strive for higher standards in television programming.