Suggested Name Changes For The "SyFy Channel"

Let's face it. In addition to being the worst television programmers of all time...Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern are also the laziest. No doubt one of the methods in their madness to couch their network moniker (above) in such a steaming pile of ambiguous donkey drivel (SyFy??) was the opportunity it gave them to not be nailed down by a singular and discernable on-air identity...thus allowing their network to be in a constant state of chameleonic flux from one moment to the next. A horror movie here, a cooking show there, a reality show here, wrestling there.

I think the time has come for the "SyFy Channel" to embrace (full force) its notorious, on-air ambiguity once and for all with an on-air moniker fully embracing what they...aren't?


1. "Jane Doe Central" - We don't know who and what we are, and neither do you!!

2. "John Doe Central" - We don't know who and what we are, and neither do you!!

3. "The Ambiguity Superstation!!" - Define us as you so choose!!

4. "Amnesiac Broadcasting!!" - We were something yesterday, but we can't remember what it was!!

5. "Cerebral Hemorrhage Broadcasting!!" - Coming up next after wrestling!! "Haunted Highway!!"

6. "The Wandering Adrift Channel" - The home of the "Cape Fear" movie and "Gatoraid!!"

7. "The What??...Superstation!!" - You want to know our on-air identity? Why??

8. "Haunted Cooking Show Smackdown!!" - The television network of.... Preparing your food in a haunted kitchen while dodging professional wrestlers wanting to get you into a head lock!!

And this doesn't even begin to sum it up!!