Sunday, May 13, 2012

If Universal Studios Had Produced "The Avengers", It Would Have Been a Box Office Flop And a Lost Opportunity. If Universal Studios Had Managed to Produce The Movie At All




Why would have Universal Studios fucked up this movie so badly? Let's effortlessly create the list of reasons why...

1. Universal Studios has an intense corporate hatred of anything having to do with Science Fiction and Fantasy. Just look at their eternal and deliberate trashing of the "Battlestar Galactica" property and their cable channel called "SyFy" which has absolutely nothing to do with Science Fiction at all.

2. Universal Studios would have massively diluted the overall premise of "The Avengers" movie and severely stripped away any and all Science Fiction and Fantasy aspects of the film, rendering the film as safe as can be for that "ambiguous audience" Universal Studios thinks it has for the SyFy Channel.

Translation: Universal Studios would have made "The Avengers" boring as shit and bearing no resemblance to the comic book whatsoever.

4. Universal Studios would have created the wrong marketing campaign for the movie.

"Watch this movie or we'll insult your family on Internet bulletin boards" wouldn't have gone over too well for 'The Avengers.'" It didn't work for Universal Studios when they applied the same technique to Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" (Galactica in Name Only) series.

5. "The Avengers" overall would have been badly produced, written, and directed because Universal Studios never likes to venture too far away from itself when it comes to hunting down and hiring the talent necessary to make a good movie. Trust me, if Universal Studios had produced "The Avengers", their two old-timer standbys (Bryan Singer, Ronald D. Moore) would have been tucked into that movie somewhere, both of them responsible for the movie's shittiness.

6. Because Universal Studios hates Science Fiction and Fantasy, "The Avengers" would have had this odd, creepy feeling to it in terms of diluted, out of place, and mismatched content. Just look at their SyFy Channel.

7. Universal Studios wouldn't have been able to afford the stars in this movie.

8. If Universal Studios had not have produced this movie yet, it would be rotting in their favorite purgatory right now which Bryan Singer is the absolute emperor of...

"Pre-Production Hell."

9. As far as Universal Studios is concerned, anything called "The Avengers" references the old British series starring Patrick MacNee.

10. The budget for this movie would have been a fraction of what it is if Universal Studios had produced it.



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