Thursday, September 15, 2011

SyFy Channel: Home of The Artistically Famished, The Creatively Deficient, and The Status Quo Predictable

Contrary to what Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern would like to believe...the SyFy Channel is a cable network going absolutely nowhere in terms of daily job performance, brand name recognition, evolution of any sort, or progress of any sort. The SyFy Channel has gone absolutely nowhere since its name change to SyFy Channel two years ago, and it was a cable channel going nowhere long before that because Bonnie Hammer was primarily running it. Now that she is only partially running it along side David Howe and Mark Stern...the channel is still going nowhere. Going nowhere creatively..artistically...and evolutionary.

Perhaps the reason why is that despite all of the bold and grandiose dreams Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern always announce for the channel in interviews...they actually run the SyFy Channel like any other boring cable network is run such as MTV. With status as Grandma's home made apple pie...type television programming that never sets precedent....never comes within an arms distant reach of actual Science Fiction television programming.....never treads new ground...never explores new areas of thought...never breaks the cycle of television's bad (worst) habits such as reality programming....and programming that never draws favorable attention to the SyFy Channel. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern will never....ever....put television programming on the air....that is a pleasant surprise. Partially due to the fact that the three of them are intellectually incapable of doing so...and primarily due to the fact that the three of them are mere marketing executives (not actual television programmers) born and bred to nurse feed the status quo in programming decisions that are all too common and mundane.

More reality programming coming to the SyFy Channel? How boring!! How mundane!! How typical!! How status quo!! How expected it is for the SyFy Channel to always march lock, stock and barrel in alignment with what the rest of the television industry considers...status quo and safe. The SyFy Channel might as well be the safe as Grandma's apple pie MTV...where their miniscule viewership is never pleasantly surprised either by what they do.

More horror movies coming to the SyFy Channel? Horror movies are and have been a safe staple for Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. As cheap to produce as reality programming...the SyFy Channel's horror movies follow their inevitable path of existence of being universally hated by everyone...and then die a quiet death released on DVD in the $5.99 budget category. Producing these horror movies have became an all too typical habit of Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. Like chain smoking, 4:00 pm martini lunches, and the daily commute to work.

There is no creativity or inspired thinking on the SyFy Channel because Bonnie Hammer, David Howe and Mark Stern are status quo marketing people. These type of people like to play it safe because it allows them to wing it through their jobs on psychological cruise control with their eyelids at half mast. The way they run the SyFy Channel doesn't require the flexing of intellectualism...any sort of deep thought....any sort of effort. They regard the SyFy Channel as a local department store requiring nothing more than the stocking of retail departments with mindless merchandise...and then trying to attract business. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern invest about 25% of their time thinking about what types of programming to put on the SyFy Channel, and then invest 75% of their time trying to attract various demographic groups to their sub-standard (25% invested) television programming. Maybe if they put good...quality....television programming on the SyFy Channel in the first place...they wouldn't have to bust their asses all of the time in flawed marketing theories trying to hunt down demographic groups to watch their damn channel.

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