Saturday, October 1, 2011

Wise Man Say, If You Spend All of Your Corporate Time Trying to Kill Off One of Your Properties, You Won't Have a Franchise

1. 1979 - Universal Studios made a half-hearted attempt to sell "Battlestar Galactica" to CBS-TV after it was cancelled by Brandon Stoddard at ABC-TV.

2. 1980 - Universal Studios puts "Battlestar Galactica" into syndication via the episodes being badly edited and merged together in sporadic 2 hour movies.

3. 1986 - Universal Studios releases "Battlestar Galactica" on VHS tape in response to Paramount Pictures releasing "Star Trek" on VHS. Of course, as is always the case with Universal Studios when it comes to their crappy mismanagement of the "Battlestar Galactica" property...there was a big..."but" these VHS releases. Not only were not all of the episodes released on VHS, but only the worst episodes were (such as "Lost Warrior"), while the best episodes ("Hand of God") were not released. Additionally, the visual quality of these VHS tapes were piss-poor.

4. 1989 - Universal Studios puts a revolving, three series umbrella deal into syndication called "Action Pack." Included in this revolving, three series deal was a televised version of "Smokey & The Bandit." Universal Studios was supposed to revive "Battlestar Galactica" in this umbrella series, but opted out at the last minute. (Imagine that.)

5. 1993 - With the success of "Star Trek - The Next Generation", "Deep Space Nine", and "Babylon 5" in syndication, Universal Studios begins talking about reviving "Battlestar Galactica." Of course they didn't do it.

6. 1999 - The success of "Battlestar Galactica" reruns on the Sci-Fi Channel prompts Universal Studios to begin talking about reviving "Battlestar Galactica." Of course they didn't do it.

7. 2001 - For some deranged, psychotic, and insane reason...Universal Studios executives, Sci-Fi Channel executives, hired stealth marketers ("Abraham & Harrison") and hate filled user groups begin arguing with the general public on Internet bulletin boards (primarily of the time) over their fondness for the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series. All of these various entities were working together in a carefully coordinated and precisely choreographed manner big happy umbrella. So, who was "Mr. Big" overseeing this entire operation?

8. 2003 - The verbal attacks on the general public from the above entities increase in severity when they all rally around Ronald D. Moore's announced...crappy version of "Battlestar Galactica."

9. 2003 - With the lowest audience test scores in television history backing it up along with protests from everyone, Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" (Galactica in Name Only) mini-series premieres with severely exaggerated ratings claims from Bonnie Hammer's Sci-Fi Channel. It goes on to four equally, low rated seasons via inexplicable season renewals.

10. 2003 - The DVD set "Battlestar Galactica - The Complete Epic Series" debuts with another big..."but"...thrown into the mix. Actually...lots of "buts!!" (a) The first batch of DVD sets to roll off of the assembly line had widespread cracked discs. (b) Many consumers complained of the discs breaking just from trying to remove them from their trays. (c) No digital clean-up was done for the pilot episode "Saga of a Star World" (d) Heavy grain and print damage was / still is evident in "Saga of a Star World" in later re-releases of the DVD set. (e) The first batch of DVD sets had freezing discs. You have to hand it to Universal Studios. When they hate one of their own properties...they leave no stone unturned.

11. 2008 - What do you do when you have a flop television series? make a sequel series to it. "Caprica" is cancelled after a half dozen or so episodes.

12. 2008 - The books "Universal Studios vs. The 1978 Battlestar Galactica" series, "Caprica Sucks", "Ron Moore's Failed Attempt to Revive Galactica", and "Bonnie Hammer's Sci-Fi Channel: Chronic Failure" debut in book stores across the country including Of course, the author of these books is attacked on the site by Universal Studios executives, Sci-Fi Channel executives, "Abraham & Harrison" employees, and Ronald D. Moore's Goon Squad User Groups. None of these entities were / are literate because instead of actually reading the books, they just called the author "crazy."
Is that all they had to do to receive their stealth marketing paychecks from Universal Studios and Sci-Fi Channel (SyFy)? An easy trip to the bank right? In the book review section of no less. Of course, when a corporation is caught doing something naughty, of course it's going to retaliate like a rabid dog with a hard-on out of embarrassment.

13. 2010 - "Blood & Chrome" is announced but is now dead in the water. Is there a God after all?

14. 2011 - While Paramount Pictures continues to have its "Star Trek" franchise, Universal Studios continues to not have a damn thing resembling any sort of franchise. When you have cerebral retards running Universal Studios like this, I guess this is what the outcome always is.

Special Meritorious Mention

How many times has it been now that Universal Studios and / or Glen A. Larson have announced a "1978 Battlestar Galactica" feature film? 12 times? 15 times? Spanning the past three decades? The latest being in February 2009. 32 months. Universal Studios and Glen A. Larson...take a bow.

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