Wednesday, February 20, 2013

What Are The Four Surefire Signs That "Jack The Giant Slayer" is in Deep, Deep Trouble 9 Days Before it Debuts in Theaters?


1. Showing your monsters.....up crystal clear movie posters....months before the movie is even released and long before audiences think about forking over $25.00 for themselves and their kids to see the stupid movie.

The whole purpose of monster movies is to not show your monsters right away so that audiences will be in for a treat (a surprise) by seeing them for the first time while watching the stupid movie for the very first time. That's why audiences pay for movie tickets, to be surprised with something they haven't seen before. Audiences shouldn't even have seen these creatures such as the one above until they were actually sitting in the theater and watching the movie for the very first time. Now, thanks to the idiotic advertising of this movie such as the poster above, audiences have no reason to pay to see this movie because they have already seen the monsters for months on end (up close) in this incredulous and idiotic advertising campaign. Even during the movie, these creatures shouldn't have been revealed to the audience until the 45 minute mark or later.

2. Now that the cat is out of the bag, audiences have been able to see in these movie posters (for months on end) that these creatures are nothing but poorly rendered CGI creations, and aren't even scary looking. They look like "Play-Doh" versions of Jim Morrison and Keith Richards after a rough night of alcohol and drugs.

3. Next to zero television advertising. Has anyone seen commercials for this stupid movie yet? I haven't. And we're at the 9 day count-down mark to theatrical release. Shaving it pretty close, aren't we?

4. Relying on Bryan Singer to promote this thing on the Internet all by himself. Who believes anything he says anymore? No one on the Internet, that's for sure!! Bryan Singer is now ignored on the Internet, and he's all by himself.


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