Saturday, August 4, 2012

The One Constant in The Universe Will Always Be Universal Studios Infinite Stupidity Towards "Battlestar Galactica"

The Universal Studios "Infinite Stupidity Checklist" - The 2012 Edition

1. Ronald D. Moore's sham version of "Battlestar Galactica" infamously known as "GINO" was already proven to be a commercial / mass market flop of epic proportions from every conceivable standpoint, and nothing more than Ronald D. Moore's "Personal Art House Narcissism Project", yet Universal Studios (according to Bryan Singer) wants to merge this "Epic Flop" with the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series for a big screen adventure, were this movie ever to be made by Universal Studios and Bryan Singer during the next 25 years.

2. One of the reasons why a "Battlestar Galactica" feature film fails to get made (11 years and counting from Bryan Singer's involvement alone) is that Universal Studios and Bryan Singer have no clue what to do with this property. Their collective "brilliant solution" is to consider Ronald D. Moore's sham take on the property as "Canon" with what transpired in "The 1978 Battlestar Galactica" series.

3. Universal Studios doesn't like to admit past mistakes, no matter how epic in scope those past failures are. Any rational and sane business people working in Hollywood (rational and sane business people never did work at Universal Studios) would logically conclude that it would not make good business sense to revisit Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica", since from a strictly dollars and cents standpoint it was not (by any stretch of the imagination) a successful reboot of the property. It failed on the SyFy Channel, and its reruns failed on NBC-TV. And it failed artistically as well.

4. I don't know what Universal Studios, Ronald D. Moore, and Bryan Singer have found so massively difficult to comprehend intellectually, about simply doing the "Battlestar Galactica" property as it should have been done the first time around on ABC-TV but without the cheesy mistakes. Why these supposedly intelligent people (and very likely cerebrally deficient) have never been able to see what has been plainly there for all to see for decades, and logically conclude that there is enormous potential here to build a franchise effortlessly capable of competing with Star Wars and Star Trek:

a. A Battlestar fleet meets in deep space waiting to sign a peace treaty with the Cylon Empire.

b. The 12 Worlds these Battlestars represents are destroyed by a Cylon sneak attack.

3. Count Baltar, once a trusted member of the Council of 12, was responsible for tricking President Adar into trusting the Cylon gesture of peace.

4. This magnificent story revolves around the Adama family and their friends aboard the Battlestar Galactica.

5. The Adama family is a warm loving, and nurturing family towards one another and their friends without Ronald D. Moore's "Psychotic Art House Bullshit." Rape, violence for no reason etc.

6. There are "bad guy" aliens in this universe in addition to the Cylons. The Ovions, The Eastern Alliance, etc. There are "Good guy" aliens such as the amphibious race "The Hessaris", which the humans rescued from Cylon subjugation....touching off the "Cylon / Human" war.

Why is it so damn hard for Universal Studios and Bryan Singer to simply understand this and see this? It's so plain as day that it's literally in your face. Bryan Singer sure as hell can't wrap his feeble little mind around this. You can tell that by his most recent interview on the topic of Battlestar. Of course, not understanding Battlestar Galactica is the least of Bryan Singer's problems right now, as he can't get any of his recently announced projects off the ground, and he also can't get "Jack The Giant Killer" out of post-production...after the movie is already a year and a half late in reaching theaters...and the movie is going on four years in being in production.

If Universal Studios and Bryan Singer understood any of this, we would have had a Battlestar movie in theaters long before now.

7. Universal Studios has always had two cerebrally challenged states of mind when dealing with Battlestar Galactica.

a. Doing the wrong thing with Battlestar Galactica (Ronald D. Moore's crap.)


b. Not doing anything at all with Battlestar Galactica.

8. Universal Studios has brainwashed themselves into believing that Ronald D. Moore's sham version of Battlestar Galactica developed a vast, commercially viable audience worth pursuing in a major motion picture by merging "GINO" with the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series, if I am interpretating Bryan Singer's statements correctly. Universal Studios of course forgets, that the bulk of Ronald D. Moore's miniscule audience were stealth marketers working for the stealth marketing firm "Abraham & Harrison", as well as corporate employees of Universal Studios and the SyFy Channel.

I suspect that Universal Studios will never let Ronald D. Moore's "GINO" series go because to do so would be to admit that they were wrong for having produced it in the first place (due to its mass market failure.)  And that is something Universal Studios will never do. So, if they were to to make a Battlestar motion picture, they would most certainly dump "GINO" on to the movie screen, merged with the 1978 series.

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