Sunday, July 17, 2011
Why Does The SyFy Channel Now Think It's Cute That Their Monster Movies Are So "Kitschy?"
When the SyFy Channel first started making monster movies....Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern had absolutely no clue that they were as bad as they were. (Those born without artistic talents of any kind are always the last to know how untalented they really are.) When rumblings began reaching the ears of all three of them...that their originally produced monster movies were utter garbage always destined for the "10 cent Discount DVD Bin at Wal-Mart"....Hammer, Howe and Stern took the easy way out. Instead of confronting the problem they had created for themselves head on by hiring better producers, scriptwriters, and directors for their monster movies....they decided to embrace the kitsch factor inherent in all of these monster movies...and try to pass it off as a cutesy hobby to watch these awful monster movies every week.
SyFy Channel: "Aren't these movies awful? (wink, wink) But it's the new fad!! It's the new thing!! It's the new bag!!...to watch these awful monster movies every week!!"
One of the things I have discovered about Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern after studying their bad business habits for as long as I have...is that instead of correcting physical problems created by their own God awful television program (such as their weekly monster movies), they will instead change the way they promote these programs on the air and on the Internet. Because God forbid...should the three of them ever admit to making dire mistakes. In other words, instead of cancelling a genuinely bad television show created by the three of them either collectively or individually...they will instead change the way they think about that particular television show...and promote it in an entirely different way. Pushing the reality to the back of their minds that these monster movies of theirs (for example) really are God awful. Thus, in the case of their weekly monster movies, they decided to embrace the awfulness of them all, and try to promote them as the new fad to watch these things...instead of mercifully cancelling the entire umbrella package of these monster movies.
Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern are the sorts of miscast (erroneously hired) television executives who keep themselves psyched up psychologically despite the overwhelming opinions that their television programs...suck ass. They pump themselves up with happiness and naivete steroids...in order to change course in the marketing of their television programs once they find out how much the public hates their television shows.
By hook or by crook....Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern will never cancel what they create.
Posted by Languatron at 7:35 PM