Saturday, January 9, 2016

This Is Actually A Pretty Good Concept. But This Is How The SyFy Channel Will Muck It Up

"Vanessa Helsing is the daughter of famous vampire hunter and Dracula nemesis Abraham Van Helsing, and she's humanity’s last hope to lead an offensive to take back a world that has been overrun by vampires. With this and Wynonna Earp, we've got the baddass lady-slaying-demon thing covered."

Status Report: How The SyFy Channel Will "Muck Up" Vanessa Helsing.

1. It will be indistinguishable from the dozens of other low budget..."Post - Apocalyptic Vampire / Zombie / Everybody Dressed In Rags and leather"....horror movies / series knocked out in the past 20 years.

2. Stars and guest stars will be vaguely noticeable from other SyFy Channel productions.

3. This show won't chart new unseen and exciting territory in vampire legends, and won't bring anything new and exciting to the "Van Helsing" character myth. 

4. Vanessa Helsing will ultimately be a love sick woman who wants to give up vampire hunting in order to settle down with a man. In other words, it will eventually mutate into a viewer friendly show for teenage girls. The Hallmark Channel movie crowd.

5. Boredom will set in after the second or third episode, with strong indications of the upcoming boredom in the pilot episode.

6. The budget won't be there for location shooting and exotic makeups you have never seen before.

7. Too many episodes will focus on Vanessa Helsing sitting indian style talking with other boring characters about generic local customs and stock characters she encounters every week.

8. She will have a younger female protege and a hip male, fast talking companion. Sort of like Xena - Warrior Princess.

9. There will be flashbacks to her grandfather (Van Helsing) doing boring things during a boring story.

10. There will be the inevitable story where she encounters her evil self, a doppelganger. Actually one of the sinister vampires in disguise who want to trick her into doing something sinister against her will.


 Read the books Universal Studios has tried and failed to censor on 

And read these books at another location where Universal Studios executives and its stealth marketers won't be able to post negative, misleading (stealth marketed) reviews of the books via them purchasing candy and Rogaine Foam on (allowing them access to the Amazon book review section) and not actually buying and reading the books. I'll leave the other 150 global locations under wraps for now.

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