Monday, November 4, 2013
Is The SyFy Channel Finally Inching its Way Towards a Consistent and Discernable On Air Identity?
I think it's finally happening. The SyFy Channel is inching its way towards a consistent and discernible on air identity!! They are slowly becoming....
"The Matt Damon Spy Network"
After years and years of crappy remakes of "Battlestar Galactica"..."Flash Gordon"...and "The Wizard of Oz"....SyFy Channel is becoming "The Matt Damon Spy Network."
Of course...."The Matt Damon Spy Network"....will only be the flag ship title of this ongoing lame ass and lazy network. Peripheral and crappy programming will continue for the time being such as "WWF Wrestling", and "Sharknado: The Tracheotomies Continue" until the full metamorphosis is complete into "The Matt Damon Spy Network."
What new programming will most likely be on the "Matt Damon Spy Network?"
1. "I Used to Be a Super Spy" - In this limited run series...The skeleton of Roger Moore will be rolled out and interviewed by "Geoff" from "The Craig Ferguson Show." Such topics will be covered as...
a. Sleeping with as many women as possible while you are a super spy.
b. Sleeping with the bad guy's girlfriend while you are a super spy.
c. Mixing a martini while parachuting out of an airplane and being chased by the bad guy's henchman.
d. Why super spies never just shoot the bad guy when they are escorted into the elaborate fortress of the bad guy and instead just have boring conversations with the bad guy as to how he will take over the world.
e. The fine art of seducing the bad guy's girlfriend and getting her on your side for no particular reason other than she just wants more of your ass in bed.
2. "How to Escape From The Pentagon" - In this exciting new series hosted by Angelina Jolie, she will offer helpful tips on how to escape from maximum security government facilities merely by beating the asses of every man she sees.
3. "How to Take Down Extraterrestrials if You Are a Super Spy" - Now this is exciting!! Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson will host this new series teaching what weaponry can be used to shoot down UFOs.
4. "How Do You Sleep With a Super Spy if The Super Spy is Not Gay?" - Nathan Lane dominates the proceedings in this sad sack series about gay arch villains always left out in the cold because the super spy was not gay....and instead walked off with the gay arch villain's heterosexual sister.
Now this is a cable network I would watch.
Read the books Universal Studios has tried and failed to censor on Amazon.com...
And read these books at another location where Universal Studios executives and its stealth marketers won't be able to post negative, misleading (stealth marketed) reviews of the books via them purchasing candy and Rogaine Foam on Amazon.com (allowing them access to the Amazon book review section) and not actually buying and reading the books. I'll leave the other 150 global locations under wraps for now.
Posted by Languatron at 8:58 AM