Saturday, August 27, 2011
Part of The SyFy Channel's Problem Is...They Can't Differentiate Between Good And Bad Television Programming
According to the latest notorious urban myth...Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern screened a rough cut of the "Blood & Chrome" pilot movie. They apparently weren't happy with it because the movie wasn't up to the standards of their weekly monster movies. Whaaa?? Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern are now using their weekly trash fests they like to call monster movies as the quality standard to measure all potential new SyFy Channel projects against?
I'm reminded of a scene in "Return of the Jedi" where Luke Skywalker is battling a horrible pit monster with fangs and claws. Luke finally kills this horrible beast by dropping a dungeon gate on top of it. This is the cool part. The owner / master of this horrible beast then comes running out with tears in his eyes, because Luke had just killed his beloved pet. Everybody loves somebody...Everybody loves some..thing.
For some God forsaken unknown reason...Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern just love their weekly trash fest / monster movies. No one else loves these weekly monster movies of theirs....but they do.
Everybody loves somebody....Everybody loves some...thing.
I think Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern all lack a critical enzyme or a series of critical thought receptors in their brains which would allow them to differentiate between good and bad television programming. The three of them honestly don't know when they put mind boggling crap on the air. They are completely oblivious to the rotten jobs they are doing programming for the SyFy Channel. The three of them lack that basic...human instinct...the vast majority of the human population have which tells us when television programming is magnificent...or dismal.
Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern put anything on the air produced and written by Ronald D. Moore...and they think it's "Masterpiece Theater." The rest of us however, recognize Ronald D. Moore's embarrassing body of work for what it really is....utter crap. As far as I'm concerned, their unanimous adulation of Ronald D. Moore is indicative of their brains being wired differently than the vast majority of the human population. Something is amiss within their craniums.
The three of them then unanimously conclude (for some God forsaken unknown reason) that they have carried the SyFy Channel to sufficient heights of success to begin thinking about branching off into retail manufacturing of the SyFy Channel brand name plastered on video games on Ipods. The three of them just can't see that their work history at the SyFy Channel has not propelled the struggling cable network into the stratosphere of success. The three of them just can't see that before you can branch off the SyFy Channel into multiple retail endeavors...the SyFy Channel has to be legitimately successful in the first place. This hasn't happened. The reason why it hasn't happened is because the three of them are unable to differentiate between good and bad television programming and thus...have only put bad television programming on the air during their entire time at the channel. You make legitimate money by putting good television programming on the air. That's how you grow a television business into a success. You don't make legitimate money by putting nothing but garbage on the air. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern have never learned this.
As a side note, I think there might be a bit more to the "Blood & Chrome" pilot movie being halted than merely Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern apparently being unhappy with the rough cut they saw. (Since when did the three of them ever develop the ability to differentiate between good and bad television programming anyway?) Maybe Comcast has finally gotten around to reining in Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern's unsupervised reign of terror at the SyFy Channel. Maybe Comcast has finally gotten around to reining in their irrational love of all things Ronald D. Moore. And maybe Comcast has finally gotten around to realizing that the SyFy Channel sucks from every conceivable standpoint.
Posted by Languatron at 12:56 PM