Monday, June 27, 2011

The Asinine Embarrassments That Are The SyFy Channel's Originally Produced Monster Movies

It doesn't say much in favor of the SyFy Channel's originally produced monster movies that Roger Corman made such films in the same genre a hell of alot better than Mark Stern and David Howe ever did. Think of the most tasteless schlock Roger Corman ever made...including "Galaxy of Terror" and "Humanoids From the Deep"....and then compare them to such SyFy Channel films as "Sharktopus" and "Ice Spider."  Roger Corman comes across as another Steven Spielberg doesn't he? When you compare him and what he does to what the SyFy Channel does in the monster movie realm.

Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern may be college educated...but you would never come to that conclusion on your own after watching any of their originally produced monster movies. Usually, a movie and television production reflects the intelligence of those who make it. Watching any episode from the first season of "Star Trek" in 1966 would force you to conclude that not only was Gene Roddenberry college educated and a true visionary....but that he was also a frickin' genius with a relentless imagination. He put more thought into those first season episodes than perhaps any other television producer has done on any other project before or since.

And then we have...(sigh)....Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern. What can we conclude about the three of them based upon the trashy monster movies they make?

1. No imagination is to be found among the three of them at any given time.
2. No skills at providing general, all around good drama for television.
3. Their monster movies are cookie cutter....typical corporate formula.
4. Their monster movies are physically made by people with below average intelligence.
5. These movies would still suck even if they had a decent budget.
6. These movies would still be boring even if they did have a decent budget.

Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern lack basic street smarts and all around common sense when it comes to instinctively knowing what makes a good movie and what doesn't. The three of them honestly watch these movies in the screening room when they have completed all post-production..and before they are broadcast. The three of them sit there like bumps on a log, honestly oblivious to all of the recurring problems these monster movies have in such areas as overall conception, producing, scriptwriting, and directing.

A good chunk of the human population instinctively knows what makes a good movie and what doesn't. Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern lack these instincts. They lack the innate psychological gifts of being able to tell that the likes of "Ice Spiders" and "Sharktopus" totally suck ass as movies. On a psychological level...I suppose it could be a form of color blindness....lacking the ability to know what makes good television and what doesn't.

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