Monday, June 13, 2011
The SyFy Channel's Philosophy Is...If It's Broken...Don't Fix It
If a team of programmers (with a lick of common sense) ever came in to replace Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern....many of the initial things they would do would be based on common sense instincts. This new team of programmers would be initially pre-occupied with damage control as in.... undoing all of the damage that Hammer, Howe, and Stern have done to the channel over the years.
The unanimous opinion of everyone who has suffered through one of the SyFy Channel's in-house produced weekly monster movies (critics and viewers alike) is that these movies are nothing more than disposable cannon fodder...a complete waste of the money used to finance them....and a complete waste of the filmmaking equipment used to make them. The avalanche of negative reviews and negative opinions always accompanying these weekly trash fests is indicative of the fact that the SyFy Channel either needs to dispose of these movies entirely, or invest millions of more dollars in each movie to bring up the quality level in overall production to bare minimum standards. The SyFy Channel's weekly monster movies are broken...they need to be fixed or removed from the schedule.
WWF Wrestling has always had a "UHF Channel Sleazoid Factor" attached to it dating back to the 1970s. And the passage of time has not improved the reputation of WWF Wrestling one bit. It has been and forever shall be nothing more than the "Jerry Springer Show" set in a wrestling ring. It's a surprise to no one then that the typical intellect of those who run the SyFy Channel snatched up WWF Wrestling right away, and dumped in on to the schedule of what is supposed to be a Science Fiction channel. WWF Wrestling is broken. It needs to be fixed, or removed from the schedule.
The rest of the reality clap-trap on the SyFy Channel's schedule including "Fact or Faked?" and "Marcel's Quantum Kitchen" are so offensive to the senses, that they just need to be removed from the schedule...period.
A new programming team for the SyFy Channel lacking the insanity and stunning lack of talent openly flaunted by Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern (in programming) would probably think more along these lines after getting rid of all of the sensationalistic crap Hammer, Howe, and Stern put on the air...
1. Reuniting Mike Farrell and Robert Foxworth to do a series of follow up movies to the 1974 television film "The Questor Tapes."
Higher brow movies such as this would permanently replace the weekly monster trash crap presently broadcast on the SyFy Channel.
2. Upgrading all of the visual effects in the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series with quality (and I mean quality) visual effects. And not the Gumby looking CGI crap the SyFy Channel loves to crank out. A high profile project such as this would free up the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series from the curse of stock footage, and begin the process of turning this series into the franchise it was always destined to be if it wasn't owned by brain dead retards (Universal Studios.) Broadcast each episode first on the Sci-Fi Channel, and then do a complete series DVD release of the upgraded episodes. Additional live action footage could also be shot for "Saga of a Star World" involving The Ovion Queen conversing with the Imperious Leader and Cylon Centurions on Carillon. This footage was initially shot for the ABC-TV pilot in 1978 but the footage was cut by ABC-TV and lost forever thanks to Universal Studios (idiots.) Re-shoot the footage again. Also shoot new footage of the Imperious Leader in his chambers while he is conversing with the Cylon Centurions.
3. This of course, would be followed up by all of the surviving cast members from the "1978 Battlestar Galactica" series returning for a series of follow-up movies...later to be released on DVD.
4. Do a movie of the week with Gil Gerard as Buck Rogers. It would obviously be a serious take on a much older Buck Rogers and what Buck has been up to since we last saw him. Of course, Erin Gray would also return.
One can always dream about sane people owning and managing the SyFy Channel, right?
Posted by Languatron at 11:33 AM