Saturday, June 18, 2011

Radical Stealth Marketing Techniques The SyFy Channel Hasn't Tried Yet

Let's face it. The partnership of Ronald D. Moore and the SyFy Channel has been a resounding "thud" of a failure. Despite the fake award from Harlan Ellison...despite the inexplicable nonsense of the United Nations even knowing about the existence of Ronald D. Moore's sham take on "Battlestar Galactica" (which collectively gave both Moore and SyFy Channel about a moment's worth of artificially induced...orgasmic fame)...both "GINO" (Galactica in Name Only)...and "Caprica" were low rated flops not helped any by the radical approaches to stealth marketing as practiced by the SyFy Channel.

With the upcoming (and unanimously dreaded) "Blood & Chrome" pilot film gearing up to irritate / annoy anyone who watches it, "Blood & Chrome" will of course need a heavy dose of that ever patented, radical stealth marketing designed to assault the general public on Internet bulletin boards. Of course, the SyFy Channel may have to amp up the stealth marketing octaves for "Blood & Chrome" as this pilot film is destined to be the flop that "GINO" and "Caprica" were. How can the SyFy Channel strong arm...coerce...intimidate....shout down...and force the general public to watch and blindly swear eternal allegience to the "Blood & Chrome" movie?

Might I suggest the following, radical stealth marketing techniques the SyFy Channel hasn't tried yet on the general public?

1. Waterboarding
2. Thumb Screws
3. Listening to a John Tesh album
4. Tackling patrons in shopping malls
5. Renewing every SyFy Channel program for another season (That will show them!!)
6. The rack

7. Have Chris Abrahams and his stealth marketing firm "Abraham & Harrison" (previous hires of the SyFy Channel) make house calls to all of the non-conformists among the general public who publicly admit to disliking the "Blood & Chrome" movie.

8. Hire back all of the former "GINO" cast members for no reason at all and force every non-conformist among the general public to spend one hour in a room with them.

9. Force the non-conformists to eat spinach.

10. Force the non-conformists to dine with Bonnie Hammer.

That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?

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