Saturday, February 12, 2011

Is SyFy Channel Losing Its Dull Edge As The Official....Below Mediocre Cable Channel?

Remember the bad old days of the Sci-Fi Channel, when everything they did totally sucked ass yet they advertised the hell out of what they were doing anyway? The SyFy Channel still sucks ass in everything they do (especially when it pertains to Ronald D. Moore), but they're alot more quiet about it nowadays. What happened? What happened to those embarrassing (and loud) days of yesteryear (for the SyFy Channel) when they had the unmitigated gall to do such insane things such as putting Ronald D. Moore and the cast of "GINO" on the cover of "Entertainment Weekly" magazine? When they had the unmitigated gall to renew "GINO" for a total of four seasons despite its crashing low ratings, and after the pilot of "GINO" received the lowest audience test scores in television history....and shout about each season renewal from the highest mountain top? When they had the unmitigated gall to receive some sham award from Harlan Ellison who supposedly praised "GINO" to holy high heaven despite the fact that it was extremely uncharacteristic of Harlan Ellison to shower such praise on a television series that truly sucked ass in every department....and was so in your face about sucking ass in every department? When they had the unmitigated gall to prance Ronald D. Moore around on their corporate shoulders trying to pass him off as the "Messiah of Televised Science Fiction?" When they had the unmitigated gall to saturate advertise their "Saturday Night Stink Fests at the Movies" thinking that their "Mutant Monster Turds" symbolized quality television? When they had the unmitigated gall to try and remake the "Wizard of Oz" into a dark and gritty retelling? Complete with their dreaded ingredients they never get right....."hip and contemporary?" Hip and contemporary to the SyFy Channel means a downtown area 10 years after a nuclear blast. What happened to those days? The days we are all now extremely relieved are gone.

It certainly isn't a case of the SyFy Channel evolving and growing. Hell, if the SyFy Channel had the potential to evolve and grow, they would have begun doing so at least a decade ago. No, I think it's a case of the SyFy Channel slowly winding down and getting ready to die. There are only two states of existence that the SyFy Channel is capable of....sucking ass in everything they do.....or getting ready to die. The SyFy Channel simply doesn't have the energy anymore to consciously do the exact opposite of what Science Fiction fans want, and what "Battlestar Galactica" fans want....with John Williams conducting the London Symphony Orchestra in the background. Their upcoming "Blood & Chrome" series is nothing more than "after flatulence".....after the bowel induced orgy caused by "GINO" and "Caprica." They simply don't have the energy anymore to enthusiastically not make money caused by their own incompetence. They simply got burned out on "Sky One" always bailing them out of their crappy programming decisions.....particularly the ones involving Ronald D. Moore. They simply got burned out on the joy they always felt when advertisers abandoned them in droves.....particularly when the programs were produced and written by Ronald D. Moore. Yes, the SyFy Channel we have always known....."The little cable channel that never could with an ego the size of the Grand Canyon" no more.

Yes, the SyFy Channel isn't the rebel anymore. Rebelling against making money....rebelling against putting the types of programs on the air that the public would like to see.....rebelling against common sense when making programming decisions such as cancelling "Farscape".....rebelling against the overwhelming fact that Edward James Olmos has easily dethroned William Shatner as the "worst actor of all time".....rebelling against the overwhelming fact that Ronald D. Moore has not one lick of talent as a television producer and scriptwriter. Rebelling against the fact that whatever the cast members of "GINO" and "Caprica" were doing on sure as hell wasn't acting. The SyFy Channel doesn't do these sorts of things anymore with a stealth marketing orchestra playing behind them.

Yes, the SyFy Channel is now doing their "fucking up" quietly. They're quietly putting "Blood & Chrome" together as a 13 episode first season series....a 13 episode first season they will spread out over 5 years no matter how low the ratings get. They're quietly making their "Saturday Night Stink Fests At The Movies" without the hoopla. They're quietly coming up with new programming ideas that sound really shitty on paper, and will suck even more when the ideas are committed to film. If they continue to associate with Ronald D. Moore....they're doing it quietly. Yes, this is the new SyFy Channel of the new decade......"We suck, and we're quiet about it." Bonnie Hammer doesn't do anymore interviews, and the sound of chirping is heard within the vicinity of Mark Stern and David Howe. The SyFy Channel simply burned themselves out advertising the hell out of their overall "sucktitude" during the decade of the 2000s.

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