Thursday, February 24, 2011

The SyFy Channel's Inner Sanctum of Failure

Bonnie Hammer....David Howe.....Mark Stern.....and Ronald D. Moore....David Eick. No strangers to failure. Failure so common for them, that they have excelled at it 365 days a year....for the past decade. Much like a 7 year old building himself a little lemonade stand that doesn't make any money, the individuals above have built a little failing business for themselves at SyFy Channel. What they have done and failed to build a "Battlestar Galactica" business for themselves at SyFy Channel. A "Battlestar Galactica" business as seen through the incompetent eyes of a former "Star Trek" staff writer and routinely failing television producer (Ronald D. Moore).....a "Battlestar Galactica" business as seen through the eyes of three monumentally incompetent television execs in the wrong profession (Bonnie Hammer, Mark Stern, David Howe), and a "Battlestar Galactica" business as through the eyes of an idiot who remains as generally unknown as Ronald D. Moore after a decade of flopping in the business (David Eick).

That's alright though. Because the individuals above still have each other,  right? And that's all that matters to them....right? The funny thing about dwelling within an inner sanctum of failure, is that you always have companionship, and you always have the opportunity to equally distribute the blame when such television series as "GINO"....."Caprica"......and the upcoming "Blood & Chrome"......fails. Most likely though, when the idiots above got around to blaming to each other for the failures of "GINO" and "Caprica" was more like good natured blaming (ribbing actually) among friends. More like....

"Ha....Ha....He....He!! We really fucked up with "GINO" and "Caprica" didn't we? That's alright, we'll fuck up even more with 'Blood & Chrome!!' (Self congratulatory pats on the back among them.)"

It's their private little world, isn't it? Their private little clubhouse. Where their monumentally eccentric tastes in television programming are safely shielded from the objective scrutiny of the outside world. Where they somehow dug themselves a safe little fox hole within a corporation....where the paychecks somehow continue to flow....and mommy & daddy from the parent corporation haven't yet come down to visit them in order to give them what is affectionately known in the business world as.....Performance Evaluations.

Dear Parent Corporation "Comcast",

Would you be so good as to eventually get around to giving Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern performance evaluations? Performance evaluations based upon their track record at the SyFy Channel spanning the past 10 years? Pay particular attention to the following three areas of their job performance. (1) SyFy Channel hasn't made any money under their stewardship. (2) SyFy Channel has been losing money because they keep inexplicably giving it away to Ronald D. Moore and David Eick. (3) They keep green lighting sequel series to prior unsuccessful television series.


The General Public

It's one of those inner sanctum's of failure that needs to be "busted up." Where the corporate parent will ultimately need to come in and put an end to it. Comcast has a serious liability right now (aside from Universal Studios.) It is the SyFy Channel. A cable channel that has been collecting dust, losing money, and throwing what money they do have away on the likes of Ronald D. Moore and David Eick. A cable channel that has been for the past decade.....a sitting, submerged ship of failure. Inner sanctums of failure within the television business can set a dangerous precedent if they aren't weeded about by the corporate parent. If they aren't weeded out (as has been the case with the Bonnie Hammer inner sanctum of failure at SyFy Channel)....Rewarding failure can become the norm (as it has become at the SyFy Channel.) And sure enough, every time Ronald D. Moore has failed in the ratings with his sham interpretations of "Battlestar Galactica"....he has been rewarded for it with yet another sequel series based upon his failed formula for "Battlestar Galactica."

This inner sanctum needs to be broken up by Comcast so that its individual members can learn how to function legitimately and independently from one another in the television business. Bonnie Hammer needs to learn how to run a cable network. Mark Stern and David Howe need to learn how to make rational programming decisions. It goes with saying that Ronald D. Moore needs to learn how to be a legitimate television producer and scriptwriter, and David Eick needs to learn how to do something.....legitimately. Even if it's just opening up his own taco stand with soft drinks.

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