Monday, March 28, 2011
Whether You Make Money For The SyFy Channel Or Not....You've Got A Job...For Life
Imagine if you will, the very real scenario that new corporate parent "Comcast" will eventually have to face when they eventually get around to evaluating all of their new subsidiaries....particularly....SyFy Channel. You see, under the old corporate parent (NBC-Universal)....SyFy Channel (and when it was still called Sci-Fi Channel) was given free reign to hire and retain (regardless of job performance) any corporate idiot and corporate pinhead who happened to end up there (Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, Mark Stern.) It's been quite a "Sideshow Spectacle" to say the least observing all of the nonsense that has been going on at the SyFy Channel (Sci-Fi) during the past eight years...and not seeing heads roll because of it. Of course, I'm not just talking about all of SyFy Channel's money losing frontiers with Ronald D. Moore involving the "Battlestar Galactica" property.....I'm also talking about such bowel waste as the weekly monster movies broadcast on the SyFy Channel made by the most skid-row....talent depraved.....individuals in front of and behind the camera. And let's not forget the amateurish CGI in these movies exhibiting all of the talent of film school drop outs experimenting with the medium for the first time in the early 1990s.
SyFy Channel has boasted that they get a weekly audience of 2 million people for these stupid ass monster movies of theirs. That's it? There is no desire whatsover at the SyFy Channel to aspire even higher? Why not strive for 5 million viewers? Or 8 million? You see....that's just one of the many problems with the SyFy Channel. Its contentment with its own mediocrity and the mundane in its own job performance. Its contentment with not rocking the boat even when rocking the boat would actually do them a world of good both professionally and financially.
I think one of the first questions that new corporate parent Comcast should ask of SyFy Channel when they eventually getting around to doing so....is....."Why are you only getting 2 million viewers every week for these monster movies of yours?" There is going to have to be a radical revolution within the SyFy Channel as mandated by Comcast. One of those mandates being....Comcast would quite naturally expect more than 2 million viewers a week for originally produced movies by the SyFy Channel. In order to begin doing that, Comcast would quite naturally have to order SyFy Channel to begin going after legitimate Science Fiction audiences (the cerebral college grads) and not the A-Typical audience of Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern:
"Trailer Park Trash" with G.E.D. Diplomas who eat "Fruit Loops" breakfast cereal for lunch & dinner, and who wear purple colored suits to church every Sunday with flip-flops on their feet." Think "Cousin Eddie" (Randy Quaid) from the "National Lampoon" movies...and "Cousin Eddie's" family.
You know, right? The same sort of miniscule audience Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern managed to attract for all of Ronald D. Moore's "Galactica" named television series despite all of their laborious stealth marketing.
Perhaps one of the first things that Comcast will have to do....is gut the present personnel at SyFy Channel associated with these embarrassing monster movies, and bring in higher brow...more intellectually based personnel. Personnel that would think more along the lines of....doing a serious sequel movie to Gene Roddenberry's "Questor Tapes"....and implementing the very concepts that Gene Roddenberry wanted to do in a weekly series....but was turned down by NBC-TV in 1974. Perhaps even going so far as bringing back Mike Farrell and Robert Foxworth....and exploring their characters 37 years later. That would just be one example as to how viewership would seriously begin to rise on the SyFy Channel (way above 2 million viewers every week)...that's for damn sure. And change the damn name back to...."Sci-Fi Channel."
Of course...for those first step(s) to happen....Comcast would need to issue pink slips to Bonnie Hammer, David Howe, and Mark Stern.
Posted by Languatron at 9:48 AM