Friday, March 25, 2011

Ronald D. Moore's Easter Family Reunion - Part 2

(The door bell rings. Ronald D. Moore's dad gets up from the dining room table and answers it.)

Ron's Dad: "Son? The Frog brothers are here."

(Edgar and Allen Frog are at the front door dressed in UPS delivery driver uniforms.)

Ronald D. Moore: (He sizes both of them up in their uniforms.) "Nice cover. You couldn't have come over other than Easter Sunday?"

Edgar: "Look. We can go right back and remove the 300 business suits we just delivered to the "Ronald D. Moore Warehouse of Low Budget Wardrobe Clothing."

Ronald D. Moore: "Alright, alright. Do you have the invoice?"

Allen: "Right here. And sign here on the little window."

Edgar: "Nice doing business with you Mr. Moore."

Ronald D. Moore: "Wait a minute. That's it? No further instructions?"

Edgar: "Look, the rest is your problem. We fulfilled our end of the bargain. Deliver an additional 300 business suits to your warehouse with garlic sewn into each suit."

Ronald D. Moore: "And that will protect cast and crew....and SyFy Channel from additional criticisms from Languatron and the rest of the world?"

Edgar: "If they're creatures of the night......yes."

Ronald D. Moore: "If not?"

Edgar: " be fanning out resumes long before 'Blood & Chrome' and your Harry Potter shit on NBC even airs."

Ronald D. Moore: "Now wait a minute!!"

Edgar: "Look buddy. Be thankful we even took the job. We solely deal with vampires. Quite frankly, I think your shit stinks....all of it. You should have a stake driven through your heart for what you did to 'Galactica', as well as your drab fixation on boring business suits." As for your other shit? "Harry Potter and cops?" Christ, Moore. Develop an imagination for God's sake....I've said enough, we're outta' here."

Ronald D. Moore: "You'll be back!! Who will finance your next Frog movie? Warner Brothers? The next time both of you need jobs....I'll make both of you cops at a vampire precinct!! Do you fuckin' hear me you little shits?? And I'll bring back Edward Hermann and Dianne Weist so they can both fang your little asses!! And maybe Jamie Gertz too!!"

Ron's Dad: "Are you alright son?"

Ronald D. Moore: "I'm fine da da."

(Ronald D. Moore sits back down at the dining room table, and the Moore family all dressed in three piece business suits...resume their Easter dinner. They all raise their glasses for a toast...."Too dress shirts, dress slacks, neck ties, and sport coats....Cheers!!")

Fade out

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