Monday, April 4, 2011

Have Comcast and Ronald D. Moore Been Introduced to One Another Yet?

(Comcast has finally gotten around to evaluating SyFy Channel's value to them as a subsidiary. Bonnie Hammer and Ronald D. Moore are sitting nervously in front of Brian Roberts...the Comcast CEO. He's quietly skimming through ratings data as Ronald D. Moore nervously tugs on his dress shirt collar (with neck tie) and Bonnie Hammer is in an involuntary nervous rhythm of crossing and uncrossing both her legs.)

Brian Roberts: "Hmmmm"

(Moore and Hammer look nervously at one another.)

Brian Roberts: "Moore?"

Ronald D. Moore: "Yes Sir."

Brian Roberts: "You're no longer directly with SyFy Channel, are you?"

Ronald D. Moore: "No Sir."

Brian Roberts: (under his breath) "Thank God."

Ronald D. Moore: "Sir?"

Brian Roberts: "But you still supply programming to SyFy Channel despite the fact that you now work for Sony."

(Hammer and Moore squirm nervously in their seats.)

Brian Roberts: "Hammer?"

Bonnie Hammer: "Yes Sir."

Brian Roberts: "Would you mind telling me why you're still doing business with this guy after two failed television series?"

Bonnie Hammer: "We're a family at SyFy Channel....Sir."

Brian Roberts: (He gives Bonnie Hammer a pissed....blank stare) "Families are well and good, Hammer. But a family has to make money."

Brian Roberts: "And what is this 'Blood & Chrome' shit you just bought?"

Bonnie Hammer: "A prequel to.....'GINO' and 'Caprica'".

Brian Roberts: "A prequel to two flop television series? Are you out of your mind?"

Bonnie Hammer: "It's sort of a game we play at the SyFy Channel...Sir."

Brian Roberts: "Game?"

Bonnie Hammer: "We put television programming on the air that the public doesn't want to see."

Brian Roberts: "You've been playing games like that with the shareholder's money? And you received a promotion because of it?"

Bonnie Hammer: "It was sort of an off-shoot of the stealth marketing campaign that we threw at the general public."

Brian Roberts: "Really. Well, I've got good news for you Hammer. You will now have plenty of time to play all sorts of games with the general public....You're fired.....Get out of here."

Brian Roberts: (looks at Ronald D. Moore while he tears up the 'Blood & Chrome' contract)....

Ronald D. Moore: "Ummm...we're in pre-production...Sir."

Ronald D. Moore: "Well...get out of pre-production...Moore. And many happy returns to you and Sony. I'm sure your luck with Sony will be about the same as your luck with SyFy Channel."

Ronald D. Moore: (walks out with his head down)

Brian Roberts: "And...Moore.... Don't pitch anything else to us.....because we're not buying no matter what it is."

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