Friday, May 13, 2011

Join The SyFy Channel Fan Club? Why?

Let's analyze all of the goodies you get with a membership in the SyFy Channel fan club.

A custom designed Syfy messenger bag
Do they really expect someone to go out into public carrying a tote bag with the SyFy Channel logo on it? Not a good way to make friends, is it?

A collectible button set featuring your favorite Syfy shows.
Favorite shows? On the SyFy Channel? Oh..they must mean "Marcel's Quantum Kitchen", "WWF Wrestling", and the late night infomercials.

Custom designed Syfy Key Chain
I'm still looking for the creature comforts the $39.95 membership fee pays for.

Personalized Syfy ID card
Does it get you into a "Power Lunch" with Bonnie Hammer and Katee Sackhoff?

Personalized Membership Certificate
Is this a reward for watching bad television on cable?

Welcome letter from Syfy President Dave Howe.
Well, here you go. The gold bullion of the entire membership package. A xeroxed copy letter with the pre-printed signature of David Howe. One of the idiots responsible for decimating the SyFy Channel of the 1990s and turning it into a mainstream commercial broadcast network with "identity issues."

But the merchandise is only the beginning. You’ll also punch your ticket to a world of exclusive Syfy content:

Members-only chats with Syfy talent, writers, directors, executives and industry insiders.
I have never known "SyFy Channel" and "talent" to go together. It's an oxymoron to say the least.

A news section with the latest Syfy announcements.
"Blood & Chrome" cancelled? Bonnie Hammer / David Howe / Mark Stern fired? I can't wait!! 

Sneak peek videos
Even if it involved Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer in the shower together, I still wouldn't be interested.

A photo gallery featuring behind the scenes shots and more
Enjoy the existence of "Blood & Chrome" while you can.

Discounts for Syfy Fan Club members, including 15% off at the Syfy store, 10% off at the NBC store and discounts from leading retailers!
I'll wait for Comcast to gut both stores and bring in better merchandies.

The opportunity to win autographed scripts, props, and access to Special Events

All this for only $39.99 Annual Membership fee.
It would still be a rip-off at $5.95.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.