Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Most Egregious New Batch of Television Programs Ever Conceived

People have always had an instinctive sense of what is good and what is just plain bad. They also have an instinctive sense of what a good television program is and what is just plain rotten. Looking over the new batch of television programs the SyFy Channel is planning to air, it can be concluded that SyFy Channel executives lack the instinctive sense of being able to tell what is good television and what is just plain bad.

To say that these television programs are absolute garbage would be an understatement. To also say that it is a monumental waste of money to finance these shows would also be an understatement. 100% of these new shows are cannon fodder for inevitable low ratings. These shows are so mind numbingly stupid and boring in their premises that it's a safe bet every one of them will be cancelled before reaching the half season mark.

I have a theory as to how SyFy Channel executives dream up these rotten television programs of theirs. Someone in the room starts a sentence....and then everyone else in the room takes a turn at adding their own words to the sentence. Such as....

Executive #1: "A man who lost contact with his daughter 12 years ago......"

Executive #2: " suddenly knocked unconscious and taken to Area 51......."

Executive #3: ".....where he is recruited by the 'Men in Black' to hunt down extraterrestrial fugitives on the moon....."

Executive #4: "......where his daughter (by coincidence) is being held........"

Executive #5: "......The man has a female partner with big boobs, a trick leg, and an ugly secret...."

Executive #6: "......She is one of the extraterrestrial fugitives sent to kill the man in order to prevent him from hunting down the last of her kind....."

Executive #7: "....The man's daughter has rare hormones which is why she was kidnapped by the aliens 12 years ago....."

Executive #8: "......Hormones which will give big boobs to all of the female extraterrestrials....."

That's what the premises of a good chunk of these new television series sound like. They just ramble on and on with no end in sight. So obviously, the SyFy Channel executives when going into their meeting room had no ideas for new television series. These new television series of the SyFy Channel have the unmistakable characteristic of spur of the moment.....improv.......premises.

To say that these SyFy Channel executives aren't qualified for the jobs in which they are paid for is an understatement. They are just plain terrible at thinking up new ideas for television series. I have never in my life seen a programming slate so chock full of absolute crap.

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